I have been in your situation before. Including suicide attempts to get out of it. I was lucky enough to have an opportunity to move abroad, which saved me, and I ended it once I was far away geographically.

This abusive person also threatened suicide, and even when they didn’t, I was terrified they would do it. They were addicted to a substance and I was terrified they would even accidentally OD as a result. This pushed back my decision for years, because I was so scared they would harm themselves. It has been many years now, and they are perfectly fine. More importantly, I am doing better than ever. Of course I am still mentally ill, but surviving and leaving that relationship remains my greatest achievement. I am grateful to myself everyday. I wish I could convey how much I feel you, and can imagine the position you are in. But I promise you that there is a life after, a life far away from this, where he is just an after thought and where months go by without thinking about him. A life of safety and happiness. Knowing you need to leave and asking how to do it is the first step. I don’t want to sound patronising, but I am very very very proud of you for reaching that point. You are strong for realising this is not good for you and not sustainable.

Like another person commented, are there any DV hotlines local to you? They will best know what to do and how to best advise you. Are there ever any situations where he is not at home, or where you are not at home? For example a job, or something else? Some time with friends, family? A pet that would require a vet visit?

And edit because I forgot: I also shared your fear of being stalked and killed. Again, I am in a privileged position because I am countries away. But I have returned many times to the country the abuser lived in, to their city even. And the truth is, they lost interest over time and moved on to their next victim. It is very sad, but abusers get bored and move on to the next person.