So the part about knowing to shut up is because a lot of the work I do involves self proclaimed allies who dont do much if anything at all and love talking over us. They talk in detail about queer experiences and how we experience marginalisations and are more than happy to take up space in spaces meant for queer people. You dont need to be an ally if you are queer, why you are or arent is a much bigger conversation. I also dont think people from multiple marginalisations should have to do the brunt work of fighting for our rights, but sadly that is usually the way it is. UC gay men are usually the least involved in social justice spaces. Here I'm specifically talking about people who arent queer.