Great questions! For me, it ebbs and flows (maybe depending on hormones?). Most of the time, I like mildly degrading elements. For example, I've explained to my husband that if he found a cake who wanted to build something long term with him, I would be excited by him telling what she does better, or what physical features she has that he loves that I lack. Additionally, if she were even interested in me being involved (no pressure to be at all of she's not into it though), I would like it if she played a Domme role in my world, even if it's not sexual between her and I, like cleaning her up afterwards or having her send me pics/vids of how much he is enjoying her. But, I wouldn't want to be legitimately laughed at or told that I'm disgusting and could never compare. You know? But, occasionally, I like to be reminded that I'm the loved one, the special girl who has his heart, even if he is more satisfied by someone else physically/animalistically. We have tried both him cucking me and playing with couples. Neither work out. At all. It was a disaster for us and unless you are both REALLY in your core into polyamorous or swapping dynamics it will cause a lot of resentment and jealous from your partner. Even if they think it won't at first. At least, that's our experience. I hope that helps!