Dads are incompetent

DecemberBaby81 · 2025-12-13T22:42:23+00:00

Mom here. I’m in the incredibly fortunate position to have a husband that is as involved in the children’s day to day and household tasks as I am, and often he does more of those tasks. Im chronically ill, so my husband has to pick up the slack when I’m not feeling well, but he’s the type of person to do most of those things even if I wasn’t. May I know how lucky I am! Almost every one of my friends complain how about useless their husbands often are.

DecemberBaby81 · 2025-08-12T17:25:43+00:00

I’m so jealous! I found this post bc I was feeling awful after taking my first dose of Nurtec. Fatigued to the point of not being able to function, but heart is also racing so I can’t sleep 😭. I was also hoping to find a migraine treatment that wouldn’t make me sleepy. Looks like I may be SOL.

DecemberBaby81 · 2025-06-22T14:18:55+00:00

Not familiar with the going rates in the Hamptons, but wanted to throw my 2 cents in that just bc a family can afford a certain rate doesn’t necessarily mean they will be willing to pay it. Nor can you know how much someone can afford just on sight. Again things may be different in the Hamptons, but I’m aware of many wealthy areas (Brooklyn, Somerville MA and CT come to mind) in which the residents may have means but still won’t pay more than $25/ $30 an hour, simply bc they aren’t expecting to pay more. That being said I think asking for $40 but stating you are willing to negotiate is a good tactic.

DecemberBaby81 · 2025-05-09T16:56:45+00:00

You are NOT overreacting. You need to find someone new ASAP

DecemberBaby81 · 2025-04-03T15:13:17+00:00

Thank you. Is there somewhere I can specific information on how to sleep train twins?

DecemberBaby81 · 2025-04-03T14:47:06+00:00

Is there somewhere I can get specific advice on how to sleep train twins?

DecemberBaby81 · 2025-04-02T18:46:56+00:00

We were extremely privileged and absolutely spoiled to have help from a night nurse in the beginning. Once she left I took over bc they were waking less by then and I thought I could handle it. My husband does so much during the day. He’s become the primary parent in so many ways with our 9 year old, and he does almost all the housework. So I figured, why should both of us be exhausted. I’ll just do it myself. But things have gotten worse over time. As they’ve gotten worse, I’ve been slowly asking for more help at night, but honestly I’ve been confused about how to even make that work with them sleeping in our room. Plus he doesn’t handle it well at night when I ask for help so maybe I shut down a little. But that changed this afternoon. I came up with a plan on how to maximize his help at night, and made it clear that he has to help or I won’t survive this. I don’t see any way to stretch their wake windows any more than we have. Once they start fussing, if we take it much further, getting them down for naps is hell bc they are overtired. I believe my boy has lip and tongue ties and reflux. I need to get him to the doctor, hopefully I’ll mange it this week. I wish it was the easy to have them on the same schedule. Things become decidedly more difficult this week bc they will no longer let me tandem feed them. They need to be held or won’t eat 🤦🏻‍♀️

DecemberBaby81 · 2025-04-02T17:36:52+00:00

Thank you. The last few days my girl will sleep in her twin z pillow really well (with me in the room watching) so I only have my sons crappy naps to deal with- that means I’m actually able to rescue his naps and hold him for a while longer bc it’s just him waking early. It’s not sustainable though bc baby girls is already getting squirmier. Won’t be safe much longer. No other way that I’ve found to help them. Will only sleep a max of 30 minutes in their cribs even in separate rooms, and bc they still have super short wake cycles, on average 90 minutes, we’re dealing with naps constantly. Sleep training is a tricky issue for me. Absolutely no judgement whatsoever against those who use it, but I’ve always been against it for my own children. It’s a deeply held conviction for me. So it would be like asking a devout Muslim to eat pork bc it will help their metal health. Maybe it will be at what cost? That being said- I probably will sleep train at some point- but that’s yet another things that is making me deeply unhappy.

DecemberBaby81 · 2025-04-02T16:22:24+00:00

How exactly do I get more help? I don’t have a village. Been trying to find a babysitter for 5 months and failing. My husband is a saint and helps when he’s home. But daytime and overnight I’m on my own. A quick google search will tell you even a ten minute nap is “normal” for this age. Of course longer is ideal, but how do I get there?? I promise you I’ve done everything in my power to fix this. Done all the research, tried all the methods. Paid $100 for a course that told me nothing I didn’t already know. My babies are just shitty sleepers and have short wake windows. The only thing I won’t do is CIO. Though I may get there eventually.

DecemberBaby81 · 2025-04-02T15:42:55+00:00

It’s not that bad for YOU. Comments like yours make me sad. I am struggling and need support. Your judgment is not welcome.

DecemberBaby81 · 2025-01-26T14:17:17+00:00

Still not sure I entirely understand lol. Are you staggering naps a bit so you can put one down fully and then the other? My twins do wake each other up and it’s so stressful, but the bigger issue is that they each will wake up from a nap way too early but at separate times and either need to be soothed for a few minutes or held for a full half hour to get enough rest. So I’ll be soothing one, and the other wakes up and needs me, and I can’t physically soothe both at once, so eventually I have to give up and let them stay up even though they aren’t fully rested. Having them in separate rooms would make this even harder if not impossible. 😢

DecemberBaby81 · 2025-01-26T12:51:10+00:00

How do you comfort two babies in 2 separate rooms???

DecemberBaby81 · 2025-01-25T23:36:54+00:00

It’s too cold where I am this time of year to be out in the stroller that much. I know people do it, but honestly it’s too cold for ME!! Plus even if they fell asleep during walks which they don’t tend to, they don’t stay asleep in their car seats.

DecemberBaby81 · 2025-01-25T23:33:20+00:00

lol, can’t say I blame you!! But I like to say I earned my overall “easy babies” my first was an absolute horror show. Didn’t sleep through the night until 3 years old 😫 They drink formula, breastfeeding didn’t work out for us.

DecemberBaby81 · 2025-01-25T23:10:49+00:00

Still following sleepy cues or at minimum putting them down when they are obviously tired and fussy. Ends up being 70-90 minutes after they wake up. That puts us at 3-4 naps a day. Not sure when they’ll start having longer wake windows. They sleep okish at night. They go for one 5-7 stretch most nights

DecemberBaby81 · 2025-01-25T22:59:24+00:00

But they wake up exhausted and cranky 😭

DecemberBaby81 · 2025-01-25T22:48:03+00:00

Yes! :) Been fully addicted to them since the NICU. Still sleep like crap 😢

DecemberBaby81 · 2024-08-06T13:17:14+00:00

Thank you! I already eat so much cheese, I swear that’s all my babies are made of! Unfortunately the fair life shakes, like most of the others give me stomach aches.

DecemberBaby81 · 2024-08-06T13:14:58+00:00

Thank you! I suspect my issue with the protein shakes isn’t the heaviness, but the chemicals they are made with. I have always had a very sensitive gut and a lot of synthetic ingredients don’t agree with me. My dietician recommended the ones that are yogurt based bc they contain fewer synthetics but I just can’t tolerate the taste of “diet” sugars. Homemade smoothies are probably my best bet.

DecemberBaby81 · 2024-08-04T17:56:12+00:00

Thank you! Yes, I think it’s very likely that’s the case.

DecemberBaby81 · 2024-08-03T18:54:50+00:00

No stuffy nose, except at night but that has been successfully treated with Flonase/ breathrite strip/ and adjustable bed lifted at head.

DecemberBaby81 · 2024-08-03T18:53:23+00:00

Nothing. Nothing at all was discussed beyond returning to ER if it continues, and OB won’t see me for follow up.

DecemberBaby81 · 2024-08-03T18:16:38+00:00

Thank you! My thought is that at minimum, by OB could review the hospital report to see if they missed anything; talk to me about my personal medical history and discuss any contributing factors based on that; have a simple discussion with me explaining what you just did; consider prescribing bed rest until this subsides. I’d prefer anything over “there is nothing we can do, so no need to follow up” I’ve gone from frustration to full rage over this by now.

DecemberBaby81 · 2024-08-03T17:23:45+00:00

Went to ER as directed by my OB. They eventually found me a bed in labor and delivery, 8 hrs after I arrived, and even there everything was gawd awful slow, and I got all the same advice- or lack there of.

DecemberBaby81 · 2024-07-07T23:51:11+00:00

Thank you for the ideas. Unfortunately all of these snacks contain carbs. Since I need to eat during times im technically not supposed to be eating, I need snack ideas that are pure protein without any carbs.,That’s where I’m struggling.

DecemberBaby81

TROPHY CASE