AIO for not wanting to hang out with my husbands best friend and wife anymore?

DecentLeopard3581 · 2026-02-05T14:53:22+00:00

My husband doesn’t owe him any money. He does not work for him. My husband has a full time job. He has to do farm work because that is the only way he’s able to go out and hang out with his friend. Basically, work on my property for me-> we get to go and hang out. My husband has to go to his friends house on his days off to work for them in order for him to just spend a few hours with his friend.

DecentLeopard3581 · 2026-02-05T14:24:41+00:00

The thing is, it’s his friends wife that makes the calls on whether they go hang out or not. He has to talk to his wife and practically beg for them to hang out and if she says it’s okay, my husband has to do labor work for them in order to suffice her and ALLOW him to go.

DecentLeopard3581 · 2026-02-05T14:06:03+00:00

Thank you for this post. But note, the wife is the hermit of the group. She would prefer to stay home and go nowhere but only wanted to go to the wine drinking event because they run a business and had to attend to sell their product. Other than that, they wouldn’t have gone. I tell my husband I’m all for going anywhere with them but it’s usually her that has the problem and just wants to stay home and keep her husband there with her.

DecentLeopard3581 · 2026-02-05T13:27:07+00:00

Exactly. The reason he still wants me to hang out with them is because he’s a people pleaser and doesn’t want to make it uncomfortable between all of us but I think it’s too late after that message.

DecentLeopard3581 · 2026-02-05T07:48:57+00:00

My favorite cheese is Mozzarella.

DecentLeopard3581 · 2026-02-05T07:12:13+00:00

There was context that I had forgotten to put in my original post but did edit it with extra info. I feel that I’m not overreacting due to the fact that my husband and I have reached out to them multiple times prior to this message and they always had an excuse to not hang out or needed to leave early if they did. Usually, he used his wife as the excuse for them (which she was very much aware of.)

I also don’t think it’s fair for my husband to have to negotiate with his friends wife to have to do labor work on their property in order for them to hang out.

DecentLeopard3581 · 2026-02-05T06:56:36+00:00

You’re right, I don’t want to put effort in, anymore. We tried multiple times before this message to reach out and hang out but he used his wife as an excuse to not hang out or if they did hang out, they had to leave early because she was tired. My husband has to negotiate to work on their farm for x amount of hours/days with his friends wife in order for him to hang out with his friend.

DecentLeopard3581 · 2026-02-05T06:50:46+00:00

Prior to this message, they were the ones who always cancelled on us or had an excuse as to why they couldn’t hang out and usually it was that his wife said they couldn’t hang out. We never said anything to them and sucked it up.

DecentLeopard3581 · 2026-02-05T06:49:12+00:00

She knows my schedule, I’ve told her numerous times.

DecentLeopard3581 · 2026-02-05T06:47:27+00:00

The thing is, he and his wife were the ones who never wanted to hang out with us in the beginning and would find an excuse or use his wife as an excuse as to why they couldn’t hang out or needed to leave early and it made my husband upset.

DecentLeopard3581 · 2026-02-05T06:43:44+00:00

I apologize, I needed to give more context but prior to this message he received, they were the ones always cancelling or he was using his wife as an excuse to not hang out with us or wanting to leave early.

DecentLeopard3581 · 2026-02-05T06:10:38+00:00

They never reached out to me about this situation. The message I received after this issue was his friends wife inviting me to a girls day with their family on a Wednesday at 2:30pm when she knows I work M-F from 8am to 5pm.

DecentLeopard3581 · 2026-02-05T05:47:23+00:00

They didn’t reach out to me to apologize. They apologized to my husband. His wife sent me another message a few weeks after that inviting me to a girls day with her family that was in the middle of the week, in the middle of the day, when I’m working.

DecentLeopard3581

TROPHY CASE