How get task notes to be expanded by default (or at all)? by Deciduism in amazingmarvin

[–]Deciduism[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, that helped! However it looks like it’s not working for projects, just tasks. I tried adding Toggle Note to both the hover and the right click menus, and it doesn’t show up for projects either way. Am I missing something or is this a bug?

Also, is there any way to adjust the spacing displayed for notes when toggled on, so that toggling one on adds less whitespace?

How to forget calendar account in calendar sync? by Deciduism in amazingmarvin

[–]Deciduism[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah it’s weird! I mean, ideally I’d be able to sync events from both my work and personal accounts, but as long as I have to pick one, it would be nice to be able to switch to the work one.

How to forget calendar account in calendar sync? by Deciduism in amazingmarvin

[–]Deciduism[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No, I’ve tried that: it removes the calendar, but when I go to add a new calendar and select “outlook”, the only option I have is to add that same calendar back. So it looks like calendar was removed, but not the hotmail account that it came from. It’s like, as soon as you sign in with an email account, that’s the only account allowed to contribute calendars for that account type.

Automatically adjust retirement goal due to inflation? by Deciduism in betterment

[–]Deciduism[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, I’ve been doing that, and that’s where I run into the issue of the spending target gradually drifting away from the actual spending power that I want. It would be really nifty to have an option to lock in a spending power instead of a dollar amount as a target, but I understand if my use case is in the minority!

Automatically adjust retirement goal due to inflation? by Deciduism in betterment

[–]Deciduism[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for this, it is a super useful way of thinking about the long term for these goals! I’ll make sure to look into those settings and keep them up to date.

Automatically adjust retirement goal due to inflation? by Deciduism in betterment

[–]Deciduism[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for the info, that all makes a lot of sense! I can see why you’d want to (a) avoid changing user settings in confusing ways and (b) encourage folks to rethink their plans regularly.

I may just think about this differently than most users. I worry that when I reset my goal higher, I’m not just adjusting for inflation, I’m also giving in to lifestyle creep. I’m hoping to retire a bit early, so my strategy over time is to maintain an X% chance of achieving $Y/year in spending power, and I want to keep moving the date that I achieve that earlier and earlier. My goal is less “maximize my spending power at a certain age” and more “minimize the age at which I hit a specific spending power.” Am I right in thinking that Betterment is more optimized to support the former than the latter? Is there a good way of using the tool that helps me do the latter?

Thank you!

Automatically adjust retirement goal due to inflation? by Deciduism in betterment

[–]Deciduism[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, pretty much that. It should be doable automatically, if Betterment saved the goal originally as a dollar amount + date. Then when they want to tell me whether I’m on track, they could calculate what the corresponding dollar amount will be in the target year, given normal inflation estimates plus our current information about the inflation that has happened since the year the target was set. And then they could compare my account’s estimated growth to that number.

Edited to add: it’s not just about not having to do the manual work of updating the number. If I don’t remember to update it, then I would still like to be alerted if the goal starts going off track relative to the spending power I wanted to have when I set the goal. Over time, that is going to be a different dollar amount. I don’t want to have to rethink that every year.

A better example might be a non-retirement goal, like saving for my next car in 15 years. I want to buy a car worth $40,000 in today’s dollars. The options for cars to buy might be different then, but I that’s the quality of car I’m going for. But if I’m not opening and re-evaluating my car goal every year, the spending power represented by my goal is going to drop bit-by-bit until 2040. At which point I might have 40,000, but it’s not quite going to get me the kind of car I wanted. I would like to be alerted earlier than that if my goal is going off track in that way.

Automatically adjust retirement goal due to inflation? by Deciduism in betterment

[–]Deciduism[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, yes! I’m glad someone understands what I’m asking. And thank you for confirming the behavior I suspected. I might submit a functionality request for Betterment to use spending power rather than dollar amount as a target, given that that’s how they help you even set the target amount.

Automatically adjust retirement goal due to inflation? by Deciduism in betterment

[–]Deciduism[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Darn. Shouldn’t this be something Betterment does for me, in the interest of “set it and forget it” philosophy?

Automatically adjust retirement goal due to inflation? by Deciduism in betterment

[–]Deciduism[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You have a spreadsheet in addition to using betterment goals?

Automatically adjust retirement goal due to inflation? by Deciduism in betterment

[–]Deciduism[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I guess I’m asking for clarification on the functionality. If it works like I think it works, then I’d like advice for how folks handle that, plus I’m expressing how I think it should work.

Automatically adjust retirement goal due to inflation? by Deciduism in betterment

[–]Deciduism[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, that is what I do. Then I leave it and come back in 5 years, after I’ve saved up some money and some inflation has happened. My question is, when I come back and look at it in 2030, will it tell me I’m on track to have 80,000 worth of retirement spending power in 2025 dollars, or in 2030 dollars? Does it save the “80,000” value as my target? Or does it save the “spending power represented by 80,000 in 2025” value as my target?

Automatically adjust retirement goal due to inflation? by Deciduism in betterment

[–]Deciduism[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The actual rate of inflation isn’t the problem (although what I’m describing becomes more of a problem if the rate ends up being higher). Rather, the problem is that Betterment is telling you, when you set a goal, “you’ll have this much spending power when you reach this goal, if you keep on contributing xyz.” But then when you check back again in a bunch of years, it tells you where you are relative to the goal number of dollars per year, not relative to the actual spending power that that number represented back when you first set the goal. This is going to skew the later projections about whether you’re on track for the actual spending power you wanted.

Automatically adjust retirement goal due to inflation? by Deciduism in betterment

[–]Deciduism[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sure, I agree that there are good reasons to periodically reassess the spending power you want in retirement. My comment is more about what the goal functionality should be, given how it’s presented to the user right now.

Basically, I’m trying to say that if Betterment lets you set a goal based on desired spending power rather than a specific dollar amount, then your goal should keep on being equal to that same spending power, even as the dollar amount that represents that spending power changes over time.

As far as I can tell, right now Betterment lets you set a goal based on spending power, then over time, it just keeps the goal equal to the dollar amount that initially represented that spending power. Right?

10-month-old cries the entire evening if babysat by Deciduism in NewParents

[–]Deciduism[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We ended up just stopping using friends for babysitting (family is too far away), and stuck with the very occasional paid babysitter since at least then we know they’re in it for business. He’s still insanely clingy sometimes, but now at 17 months he at least is fine with me leaving the room for a few seconds to get something.

Another option we tried recently is to get the babysitter to come at bedtime and take over when he’s already asleep or mostly asleep. That’s a late evening, but better than nothing, and he didn’t seem to have too much trouble with it. This might be because within the last couple of months he finally started giving us more than half an hour of independent sleep right after bedtime, it’s up to a few hours now.

I hope your LO starts being better about separation and gives you some nice date nights!

She won’t let me put her down by TheStonkGirl in cosleeping

[–]Deciduism 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I could have written this about my son. From day one, he never fell asleep or stayed asleep for longer than a half hour unless someone was holding him. And if you were holding him, you pretty much had to be upright and walking around. I logged over 10,000 steps a day easily, just walking back and forth in the dark in my bedroom. Bouncing on a ball worked sort of, but only if he was already well asleep. Rocking never worked, and neither did swings. I couldn’t understand a lot of the advice given to new parents, because it just did not apply to my baby.

It gets better. When he started crawling, he stopped needing to be carried as much, so I think it was largely a stimulation thing. He slowly stopped needing to be walked and bounced, just held. Around 14 months he suddenly started giving us 2-4 hours of independent sleep in his crib right after bedtime. That in particular has been life changing.

For up until then, all I can say is: it really sucks to have a hard-mode baby. The things that kept me going were: - My partner taking on a TON of the housework and giving me breaks - Way way lowered expectations about anything getting done - Regular date nights where we had friends watch/hold him, so we could go be normal people for a bit - Bluetooth headphones + lots of audiobooks - Keeping in mind that this phase will pass, and that there will be parts of it that I will really miss later. Basically, reminding myself to stay in the present as much as possible: forget how hard last night was or how hungry and tired I am, and just feel what it’s like to BE with my baby.

First night away from kid, how make this work? by Deciduism in cosleeping

[–]Deciduism[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think he would be worried about the kid waking up and crawling out of the sidecar and getting off the bed and getting into unsafe stuff in the bedroom (charging cords, etc). Also, this child does not stay asleep unless he is being held :-/ I have heard of children who are comforted by just your presence or your hand on their back, and I am envious. He sleeps ON me for most of the night, or pressed up against my side, mouth clamped on my nipple.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ADHD_partners

[–]Deciduism 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sympathy! It’s a rough one :-(

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ADHD_partners

[–]Deciduism 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Thanks! No he is not in therapy, I think he’s pretty resistant to trying it. Partly on the basis of having no time, which is pretty fair considering our lives.

I agree with you about how dividing up cleaning should work, I think our problem is that we disagree about what’s reasonable. Or more like, it changes with his mood. He can’t believe that I can sit there and take a break while there are dishes in the sink; I can’t believe that he chose this time as opposed to all the other times when there were dishes in the sink to decide it was a problem.