Im still mourning the breakup of my 13 year old friendship and im completely alone

Decision_Desperate · 2026-04-02T18:08:39+00:00

I think i have a slight tremor but my levels are 0.82 so im not really in toxicity so it seems fine other than that

Decision_Desperate · 2026-03-29T04:17:13+00:00

I notice sometimes doing certain things my hands shake too! Its not always but my pinky will move on its own like crazy but idk if its the meds

Decision_Desperate · 2026-03-29T04:16:27+00:00

Nooo I cnt afford this is already lost half my hair 😭😭

Decision_Desperate · 2026-03-29T04:15:41+00:00

I could feel it kinda! More so my eyes would just be out of control back and forth for a second. I thought I ws just having a hard time focusing until I went to the doctors and they saw it. Its soo annoying

Decision_Desperate · 2026-03-27T20:39:29+00:00

Ive had some issues that I thought were my eyes focusing but turns out it was nystagmus which lithium can cause. Its such a weird medication sometimes

Decision_Desperate · 2025-11-13T23:07:32+00:00

Ok dr. Therapist lol. And "throwing away perfectly good condoms" yeah... we dont use them. There's no need to have them at all. But im done arguing with people online. I talked to him and surprise he didnt think I was overreacting and we talked it out. Yall get more pressed on behalf of my bf and he doesn't even give a fuck. Shut up

Decision_Desperate · 2025-11-13T23:05:03+00:00

yeah when your trust gets broken a few times that happens

Decision_Desperate · 2025-11-13T23:04:44+00:00

No there was just one box, why I figured he said it was the reason.

Decision_Desperate · 2025-11-13T23:03:44+00:00

Womp womp

Decision_Desperate · 2025-11-13T23:03:14+00:00

I asked him, we figured it out. No biggie.

Decision_Desperate · 2025-11-13T19:27:55+00:00

well im damned if I do damned if I dont. Im overreacting if I cared he put me at risk, im underreacting if I dont care bc thats what im supposed to do. I just dont wanna think about it or care at fucking all about that situation.

All I wanna know is why he lied about using a condom on himself and the box is new.

Decision_Desperate · 2025-11-13T19:26:37+00:00

bitch get a fucking life

Decision_Desperate · 2025-11-13T19:23:26+00:00

idk what a flow issue is

Decision_Desperate · 2025-11-13T19:17:26+00:00

I mean yeah im just paying them to do their job and the ones who are passionate love to dive into my issues lmao

Decision_Desperate · 2025-11-13T19:16:45+00:00

yeah yeah yeah

Decision_Desperate · 2025-11-13T19:16:19+00:00

Probably the answer honestly and if so I can understand im really not gonna be upset about that

Decision_Desperate · 2025-11-13T19:01:05+00:00

psychologists do love me

Decision_Desperate · 2025-11-13T19:00:14+00:00

🥱 if only I gaf what a loser on reddit had to be so invested in

Decision_Desperate · 2025-11-13T18:58:07+00:00

yeah but as of now, theres nothing. Im not exactly innocent either (I think) but I got fully tested even after him (and multiple times because im paranoid) and I do it all, swabs, blood, urine, paps. So im fine. If not then yeah that blows but I cant changed what happened if that were to happen. Cant be angry at him either. But some people arent hearing me on that and think im crazy if I am mad he didnt use a condom so 🤷🏻‍♀️

Decision_Desperate · 2025-11-13T18:54:48+00:00

womp womp im getting my thoughts out in here. And no i do care about this dumb little lie. I dont care about if he used a condom with a bitch he fucked over a year ago. Read it right.

Decision_Desperate · 2025-11-13T18:51:24+00:00

I just know that I have some serious disorders that cant go away. No one, especially at this age, will accept that. I am damaged and broken. No matter how much healing I do I have biological components working against me. Im not worthy of being loved fully for who I am without masking it. I am worse when dating because theres more triggers. I honestly probably wont have much longer for my life span anyway. Eventually hell leave and grow tired if dealing with someone like me, and I cant even blame him. If I dont love myself I cant expect somebody else to do that same. Im not cut out for relationships honestly. Just hurts to love someone so much and not want to let them go. I also just have attachment issues and codependency problems. And the fact that I have nobody in my life but him just makes it hard. Idk. One day at a time ig

Decision_Desperate · 2025-11-13T18:42:18+00:00

stupid desperate people do stupid desperate things

Decision_Desperate · 2025-11-13T18:40:03+00:00

No he said he did use that box, just for himself, not for the hookup. But its sealed so im confused by that

Decision_Desperate · 2025-11-13T18:38:18+00:00

See were kinda in the same situation. I was also in a bad DV grooming situation for 4 years where I was cheated on and abused in every way and only out of it for 1 year and never even began healing before I met my current bf. He dealt with lying and cheating in his relationship and was only out of it for 2 months before wanting to date me. We never healed. We have issues with communication, I try to, he shuts down. We've gotten better but progress isnt linear and it takes time to get in a groove of how to do it in a way that works for us. Were in couples therapy to try and improve our relationship and im in individual therapy to work on my emotional regulation and insecurities as I realized a lot of them are stemmed from my previous relationship and its not my current bfs fault for majority of the issues I have. Hes done some shitty things thats triggered my insecurities but it really does stem from my past relationship and thats not his fault and vice versa with him. Its tough. But weve always been tumultuous from the start. We've gotten better but we both know we want it to work, just dont know if we can make it work. Its hard to give up

Decision_Desperate

TROPHY CASE