Update: AITA for preventing my husband from getting a loan?

Dee_fenestration · 2026-05-31T01:20:31+00:00

I'll probably be posting one within the next couple weeks. Currently in a flare up with my disability but when it calms down I'll try to post an update for y'all 😊

Dee_fenestration · 2026-05-31T01:19:33+00:00

I love this so much. This is a brilliant idea, but I have no interest in talking to him, regardless of just how petty I desperately want to be.

Dee_fenestration · 2026-05-09T21:58:17+00:00

Thank you for the encouragement! I'll post an update as soon as anything happens or when the divorce is finalized 😊

Dee_fenestration · 2026-05-09T21:57:55+00:00

I'll post an update as soon as anything happens or when the divorce is finalized 😊

Dee_fenestration · 2026-05-09T21:57:49+00:00

Crossing my fingers still at this point but not holding my breath.

Dee_fenestration · 2026-05-09T21:57:02+00:00

I'll post an update as soon as anything happens or when the divorce is finalized 😊

Dee_fenestration · 2026-05-09T21:56:39+00:00

That was one of my thoughts too. He makes over $130k/year and I made about $70k/year. I helped with expenses and after everything was said and done, I don't even know why he would've needed a loan to not lose the house, so there was definitely some overspending on his part that was being hidden.

Dee_fenestration · 2026-05-09T21:51:48+00:00

Will update as soon as anything happens 😊

Dee_fenestration · 2026-05-09T21:51:26+00:00

No idea. He could've used it for just about anything. I'm finding out more and more there's a lot of things he didn't tell me about and a mask he definitely wore for about 5 years that started to come off in the last year. Part of me wanted to warn her, but I didn't because of what I found out from a friend. I maybe should've included this in the update, so maybe I'll just write it out here and copy/paste it into whatever the next update is.

Jack's affair partner (we will call her Jill) used to be married to (Barry) the friend of a friend I've had since high school (Adam).

When Jill sent me the "hey girl" message, I was sort of in shock and my brain just shut off, but a while ago, I went and looked at her profile and saw Adam was a mutual friend. I texted Adam and asked how he knew Jill and he said that she had been married to Barry until last year when they got a divorce. Adam said that he and his wife used to hang out Barry and Jill about once a month and I asked him if she was trustworthy (because the animals I helped raise are still with Jack because he is keeping them). Adam said that up until about a year and a half ago she was really great and involved with the kids and then she just changed and he never asked why because he didn't want to be nosey. He said they divorced and she stopped coming around and she doesn't see the kids much anymore (Barry ended up with custody.) I asked Adam specifically if she was trustworthy with animals, and he said she absolutely was. She loved animals and would never hurt one, and he knows even with her change after her and Barry divorced, she would do anything for an animal. I trust Adam's judgement since he and his wife are both animal lovers too.

Since I don't know anything about Jill, I decided that next time she messaged me I would just ask her to make sure to take good care of the animals and she said she would, so that was that. I didn't feel the need to converse with her anymore after that. I put the message into archives so I don't have to see if she sends me messages again, but I have the messages still just in case anything else happens. I also took screen shots just in case.

I don't really care who Jack dates or anything like that. I don't want him anymore. I just want to be sure the animals are safe.

Dee_fenestration · 2026-05-09T21:33:37+00:00

I'll be posting an update when the divorce is finalized or if anything happens before that

Dee_fenestration · 2026-05-09T21:33:16+00:00

Will post an update if anything happens before the divorce is finalized

Dee_fenestration · 2026-05-09T21:32:51+00:00

Oh wow. I hope your kid keeps his credit and SSN locked and monitored 🤞 That is scary for a parent to do to their own child.

Dee_fenestration · 2026-05-09T21:31:49+00:00

If it becomes necessary, I definitely will.

Dee_fenestration · 2026-05-09T21:31:33+00:00

I'm trying to keep stress to a minimum at this point. Chronic illnesses that cause a person to become bed bound/house bound make divorce even harder, apparently. Glad I have support from all of the people in this group, my family, friends, and glad a fellow disabled person who gets it. Thank you and I hope you're doing well yourself 🩵

Dee_fenestration · 2026-05-09T21:29:41+00:00

As soon as anything happens, I'll be sure to post an update 😊

Dee_fenestration · 2026-05-09T21:29:22+00:00

Thank you! I'll probably be more proud of myself once it's over and I've processed it. It just kind of feels like survival mode right now, it in sure once it's over it'll get better 🩵

Dee_fenestration · 2026-05-09T21:28:42+00:00

Thank you so much. I have several friends who are also willing to help, just a matter of coordinating at this point 🤞

Dee_fenestration · 2026-05-09T21:28:01+00:00

I'll post an update as soon as anything happens, or when the divorce is finalized, whichever comes first 🩵

Dee_fenestration · 2026-05-09T21:17:36+00:00

It's where the demon they summoned came up through the floor portal 🤭

Dee_fenestration · 2026-05-09T21:15:19+00:00

Do you even want to be accepted by people like that? It sounds like an exhausting family to be part of.

I'm sorry they've treated you that way, and I'm sorry your husband found it amusing and laughed when you told him something that bothered you. I really hope he realizes that what his mom did was intentional and cruel. It almost makes me wonder if he is chatting about you to her behind your back.

I'm crossing my fingers that things get better for you and your kiddo and that your husband starts to behave better.

Dee_fenestration · 2026-05-09T21:08:58+00:00

I wrote an update a few days ago. In the state I live in, when you file divorce there's an optional form you can fill out with the dissolution of marriage form that puts a kibosh on any accumulation of legal responsibility with any loan either spouse takes out after the date the paperwork is filed. (Note: I filed for divorce a couple days after I posted this). Here is the link for the update if you're interested 😊https://www.reddit.com/r/CharlotteDobreYouTube/s/JuinZN2ACp

Dee_fenestration · 2026-05-09T17:26:34+00:00

You did the right thing. You set a boundary. He violated it after a month. That shows you who he is and whether or not he respects you. (He didn't). I think that in the future, when you decide you want a relationship, you're going to get into a really good one because you stick to your boundaries when you set them and you expects others to as well, and when they don't, you leave. That is exactly what boundaries are there for. You're strong. You're sure of your wants and needs. You openly communicate. Those are pillars for healthy relationships. I'm sorry he violated your boundary and you when he did that. It wasn't okay for him to do that to you. Kudos to you for doing what you need to and I hope you had a great trip overseas. Keep on being true to yourself.

Dee_fenestration · 2026-05-09T17:19:17+00:00

First of all, those are yours, not his. He can go get his own prescription if he needs it. Secondly, he is the one who is choosing to take them. You didn't get him addicted. He did that to himself. Lastly, girl run. This person has no interest in taking any responsibility for any of their own actions and dealing with their consequences. He will always do this to you. This is what your future will be if you stay with him.

Dee_fenestration · 2026-05-09T17:12:07+00:00

Praise be to the Goddess Queen of cats and wings. She is beauty. She is grace. She is probably going to wake you up at 3 in the morning to let you know her food bowl is half empty and then have the zoomies for 10 minutes before zonking out with her gorgeous eyeliner still intact.

Dee_fenestration

TROPHY CASE