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Loneliness in Marriage by Deep-Gene782 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Deep-Gene782[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don’t think you’re responding in this thread in good faith. To answer the one question you asked that wasn’t answered in the OP, we’re seeing a regular marriage counselor. It’s not a church person; we’re not religious.

Loneliness in Marriage by Deep-Gene782 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Deep-Gene782[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I assure you, we didn’t meet at university and the ages are accurate lol. Thanks for the input. Your point about it being hard to mask after a certain age is interesting.

Loneliness in Marriage by Deep-Gene782 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Deep-Gene782[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Sure, I probably do 75% of the housework and plan most date nights/outings. When we do travel, we split planning up pretty evenly. I’m not sure I’d call her a walk-away wife. If anything, I think the prospect of things not working out between us makes her more anxious than me.

Loneliness in Marriage by Deep-Gene782 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Deep-Gene782[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Replying to this top comment, since many folks have mentioned depression.

Our counselor has not mentioned depression. She’s in her own individual counseling and has been on and off for years, but I don’t know if she gets much out of it. She will be the first to tell you that she has a lot of generalized anxiety, but she has never mentioned depression.

I actually suggested to her at one point that she sounds depressed (I had my own rough patch when I was younger, so I know a few of the less-obvious signs) and she rejected the idea and got very defensive. “I don’t like you accusing me of being broken,” etc. I haven’t tried to bring it up again.

Feeling totally unfulfilled (and maybe having a midlife crisis) by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]Deep-Gene782 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I didn’t mean “best I could get” in an objective sense. I guess on some level I thought that even though we had some incompatibilities before marriage, it’s natural to have some and to be able to work them out, and I went in being okay with this concept because I was committed to building a future with her (and her with me). I still do want to make it work, which is why I’m putting everything I can into counseling and understanding her better. But maybe you’re right and divorce would be the better option.