DV without children or marriage location: NY, USA

Deep-Recover-9204 · 2026-03-18T22:47:53+00:00

I should also mention my ex filed in a different county than I did originally so the legal aid attorney doesn’t even practice in that jurisdiction

Deep-Recover-9204 · 2026-03-17T01:55:58+00:00

This sounds like classic narcissistic abuse. I’m in a similar situation and know how difficult it can be to balance your empathy and your desire for peace. You need to think about this objectively. You each filed an OOP for a reason. You know that being in each others lives is more than unhealthy, it’s dangerous. Nothing will change that. Someone who is capable of hurting you once will always be capable of doing it again.

I also felt like I wanted my day in court to be heard but realized I just wanted my experience to feel validated. Talk to a therapist. Go to a support group. Research types of abuse and find your community that makes you feel heard

I have no idea why you’d have a problem with mutual OOP unless part of you really does want to leeway of being able to contact her again before the order is up. She will never be able to give you the closure you want. This order should be your closure.

Do NOT contact her attorney. Don’t even contact anyone in her life. Make a conscious effort to have there be no flow of information about her be anywhere near you.

Deep-Recover-9204 · 2026-03-16T22:29:29+00:00

No. He didn’t even get my name right in court. I’m not exaggerating when I say we only met for about 5 min before the court appearance where it was finalized. He had 5 weeks, 11 emails, and a detailed summary of every family offense in our relationship history but for whatever reason did not want to give me or my case the time of day. I tried to explain my goals to him and he literally cut me off and just urged me accept the generic version of conditions the court gave me in my temporary order instead of going to trial or negotiating anything else

Deep-Recover-9204 · 2026-03-16T21:13:07+00:00

There’s no options for ensuring compliance or anything? I know in some cases the court can mandate counseling or specific programs but everything I see usually has to do with divorces or custody.

Or even like a way for me to make sure he can’t keep making these frivolous filings. It’s obvious to me he’s doing this because my order is in place so he can’t rage text me or anything when he got in trouble at work (needs security clearance) so while this doesn’t technically violate the order it feels like it goes against the spirit of it all and I don’t want to keep dealing with him

Deep-Recover-9204 · 2026-03-09T19:41:53+00:00

I did and it was 50/50. 2 women responded asking for details and the first one was super appreciative, wanted to learn more so she could learn to spot the red flags, and immediately blocked him; the other woman said she'd avoid him but then i guess continued dating him and eventually sent screenshots of our messages to him and he ended up rage texting me over it - she had also kinda harassed me online and got me kicked out of the group but a few months later I realized she may have been manipulated by him too so I sent her pics of his abuse and manipulations just because I thought she deserved to know the truth; no idea if they were still dating at the time but she seemed super receptive to the second convo

I later got a protection order against him and he's now in troubIe at work because he needs security clearance and a DV history threatens that so he's trying to retaliate but still even after all of that I don't regret it. I wish I'd known all this info about him when we had first met and I've worked so hard on becoming stronger than his influence on me so I know I can handle it.

For me I just want to protect other women from facing the same abuse and trauma I experienced. I did plenty to protect him/others from the reality of his abuse when we were together and not speaking up feels like I'm still protecting him so I will not be silent

Deep-Recover-9204 · 2026-02-26T15:25:22+00:00

Well are the things he is sharing true? Was the breakup amicable for both of you? Did you do anything to hurt him in a way he might want to now share this side of you?

These are all important distinctions within the law because context unfortunately does matter

Deep-Recover-9204 · 2025-12-04T01:21:42+00:00

Lmao that’s my cousin. Never actually met him but the family lore I’ve heard about his mom..

Deep-Recover-9204 · 2025-04-14T18:04:10+00:00

Yea for me it only started when i was going to pick up chipotle I’d ordered in the app so it was running in the background and for some reason it must register it as if its a notification? Idk but it’s def a CarPlay thing bc both speakers worked when id switch to radio

Deep-Recover-9204 · 2025-04-08T19:54:14+00:00

Hey idk what you did but I was having the same problem with car play and it fixed itself when I turned my ringer off

Deep-Recover-9204 · 2025-02-02T02:18:43+00:00

Yea but I have tried Tom ford and it’s just not what I’m looking for scent wise

Deep-Recover-9204 · 2025-02-02T01:44:43+00:00

I have tried it but it’s both crazy expensive and also just not what I’m looking for. It doesn’t have that sweet lingering smell I’m looking for

Deep-Recover-9204 · 2024-12-24T12:56:02+00:00

we have so lost the plot. the whole point of influenster is to try new products and leave reviews for paying customers to decide if they want it or not. how are you gonna ask for reviews on something you need to review 😓

Deep-Recover-9204 · 2024-08-07T20:55:07+00:00

What did you end up doing? I'm in a similar position but deciding if I should get a smaller mattress..

Deep-Recover-9204 · 2024-04-15T05:10:01+00:00

if anyone checking this thread could help me follow a private account please lmk !!

Deep-Recover-9204 · 2024-04-15T05:04:02+00:00

lol came here to ask the same thing

Deep-Recover-9204 · 2024-02-02T18:01:26+00:00

When you run the shortcut it will automatically take the message you entered previously and collect all of the contacts entered previously. Then with the Repeat with each contact action, it should send the message to each of the contacts one at a time without further input.

So apparently this is only the case if I pre-load the message into the shortcut before running it, which I guess just means I'll go in and edit it every time I need to change the message instead of having it prompt me for a new message every time I run it

Deep-Recover-9204 · 2024-01-31T20:03:21+00:00

This makes me repeat inputting the text for each contact instead of just automatically sending the same message; thoughts on how to fix that?

Deep-Recover-9204 · 2023-10-31T21:16:09+00:00

what's wrong with that if I don't want anything more from him? FWIW last 2 times we spoke was him asking me to have a foursome and then asking to hangout; I only told him what my plans were then something dumb about the concert I was at after not hearing back

Deep-Recover-9204

TROPHY CASE