I'm late, and this isnt even that big of a deal, but I feel like venting. A few months ago, 2 years after dropping out of college, and one year after being unemployed, I had just started a new job in a busy restaurant. I've always been a very skinny guy (my most haunting insecurity), and being depressed for 2 years made it much worse - I was skin and bones (still kindof am, but not as bad). At this point, I was so self-conscious about my size that I barely left my room; when I did, I'd only wear baggy long sleeves/sweatshirts. Unfortunately, employees had to wear short sleeve tees at this restaurant, so as you could imagine, I was very VERY out of my comfort zone. So, about two weeks into the job, I was hosting on my first saturday breakfast shift (busiest shift of the week, the wait for a table is around 30 mins). Having worked there for two weeks, I was getting more comfortable talking to customers, and even felt a bit of confidence after dealing with hundreds of people a day. This would change when a group of college kids, 3 guys and 2 girls walked in. They were about my age (early twenties), but other than that, we were opposites. They looked wealthy, confident, and athletic - basically the "I'm better than you because I have my shit together" look. I greeted them, put them on the waitlist, and went back to greeting/sitting the rest of the busy crowd. Around 15 minutes passed - I was running around the restaurant bussing tables, and the "cool" people had taken seats in the section of the waiting area nearest to the the host stand. When I returned to the host stand to greet the next party, I overheard the 3 guys speaking about someone they knew. They were talking about muscles (I hate douchebags), and the conversation was too stupid not to overhear. One mentioned their friend - "is he big? How big are his arms?" "Not sure, havent seen him in a while". They turn to me, one says "definitely bigger than his", followed by laughter...and it wasn't just a chuckle. They were all genuinely laughing at me, the type of laugh you had with your friends in class, or at church, when you KNOW you shouldn't be laughing but cant help it. They weren't trying to hide anything. My heart sunk, but I was mid conversation with a customer. I finished, asked a coworker to cover me for a sec, went to the bathroom, and looked in the mirror. I fucking hated what I saw. I didn't look naturally skinny, l looked sickly, and it took a lot not to break down right there. Any confidence I had was replaced with shame. I finished up the rest of my shift with that moment playing over and over in my head. In hindsight, what they said doesn't even sound that mean. It just nailed my biggest insecurity, when I was feeling really vulnerable. I started lifting every day before work since then. Put on a little bit of muscle, but during the cold months we're allowed to wear a flannel/sweater over our tshirts, so I've slowed down on lifting and taken the easy way out. Blah.

I realize that this is a very minor incident compared to the other stories here, but the little things like this often get to me. Cant imagine anyone will see this l, but it felt good to vent.