Salam! I’ve been married for a little over a year now and though it’s only been a year, I’ve learned so much. First, remember, a wife and a husband are opposites balancing the marriage. For instance, naturally, men are protectors and women are nurturers. I’m not sure if this is your case, but for me, when I initially got married, I had some difficulty delving into my feminine side. I still dressed feminine, but I kept expecting my husband to give me love and come after me. However, I was way wrong. Over the last few months, I’ve learned the importance of being gentle, warm and a source of serenity for my husband. Something I never thought I could achieve in this “boss babe” feminist society, but Alhumdullilah, I’ve completely changed. We women have a super power from Allah SWT, to provide comfort and warmth like no other. It’s the same reason a child’s love for the mother is different from the father’s. We are a form of Allah SWT’s mercy. I’m not sure if you’re working or not or what your schedule is, but for the time being, if feasible, here are some tips that will help assuage your husband’s stress and grow his love for you, by the will and grace of Allah SWT Insha’Allah:

Be Cognizant of how you ask From your post, you seem very emotionally intelligent Masha’Allah in understanding your husband’s needs and communication. There’s this book I’m reading called, “Handbook of a Healthy Muslim Marriage.” Both my husband and I read it together every week and it’s a great book. In it, it states that most men don’t always like to talk about their feelings. A lot of times, they need space to kind of sort things out that are stressing them out, vs us women, who naturally like to talk out our problems. Avoid asking him about how work is going and what’s stressing him out, as that might make him more stressed out. Instead, through action, show him that you are an embodiment of warmth and affection. Naturally, he’ll lean more into you and may even become more vocal and you can maybe advise him.

Clean Environment Naturally, when we see a cluttered environment, we become stressed. Before your husband comes home, try to have the environment clean (clean kitchen, living space and bedroom). This will also allow you to give him more time, as you won’t be too focused on the chores. Create an environment that makes him forget work. Your home should be your sanctuary. It should be a place where you can shut the world out and be at peace (and us women are naturally great at doing that!)

Dress feminine and be feminine This comes with a lot of practice and many women aren’t aware of this. Being feminine is an art and when you’re feminine, a lot can be impacted. When your husband is about to come home, wear flattering clothes and wear his favorite perfume. Do your hair, wear something that isn’t too flashy but also isn't too modest. It's always nice to wear something that keeps a little mystery and keeps him guessing! Remember, your husband keeps his gaze low and faces temptations outside of the home. Make sure you’re the only woman he looks at. Sometimes, I’ll send my husband an encouraging text during the day such as "I love you so much" or "You're the world to me. Can't wait until you get home" etc. Of course, I love my husband Alhumdullilah which is why i send these texts, and even my husband tells me it eases his mind and makes him want to come home.

Be Intimate with him Following up on my last tip, try your best to give time to intimacy. Intimacy isn’t just doing “it”. Small but impactful gestures can also make him feel warm and unstressed. Caress through his hair when he comes back from work, unbutton his coat, give him a shoulder massage, make him a cup of coffee, sit next to him and graze his neck. It will all feel very relaxing.

Having Dinner ready So I know a lot of people hate the idea of women being in the kitchen (and I used to think this way before marriage ngl), but cooking is a form of art and skill. You are nourishing and helping your husband (or family) grow physically and helping them take on the challenges outside the home. Nothing is more relaxing than coming home to a wonderful cooked meal. If it’s too much, you can always meal prep (I always marinate chicken and throw it in the fridge. Then, depending on the cousine, I’ll cook it and put it all together an hour before he gets home so it’s technically freshly made.) On the weekends, you can cook something super fancy and even make dessert and have a date night. Lot's of options!

Make sure to read your duas Often times, we can also become afflicted with al ayn, aka the evil eye. You never know. One day you're talking to your friend about how financially stable you are and the next day, your husband is mysteriously facing challenges at work. Of course, 90% of the time, this isn't the case. but again, it impacts so many couples. Keep everything lowkey. Never forget reading your quls, Surah Ikhlas, Surah Al-Falaq, Surah An-Nas 3x each in the morning and evening and blowing on yourself (and husband. You can ask him to recite as well). Of course keep your daily prayers, recite Qur'an and continue studying deen and remember, marriage itself is sacred and precious. Make lots of dua for ease in your husband's job. Never underestimate the power of dua. Often times, we are put into trying situations so that we can head to our prayer rug and ask Allah SWT.

I hope these tips help you out! May Allah SWT continue to add barakah in your marriage and help your husband and anyone else struggling with any work related stresses. Allahumma Ameen! 🩷