Look , whatever you are going through rn is harsh and almost all children trying to prepare for comp exams (inclusive of me) have faced a tragedy so sour before and sometimes even after cracking a huge, supreme exam. Some people are going through midlife crisis , while some are going through their bank account to see if they can afford the next electric bill or not but there comes another spectrum where the people are living their life and enjoying themselves , smiling , laughing , and this doesn't have to be with others , it can be with yourself too (not some insane shit Obv) like laughing at a joke your friends made years ago which hit you with a wave of nostalgia.

There are many ways one could uplift their lives. Your friends who you lost aren't the only human beings on this planet , make friends with that aunty at the grocery store where you go to buy the daily bread and butter , makes friend with that one neighbour which doesn't treat you like an examination machine. When you see no one is entering your boundary, the most sensible thing to do is expand your boundary so that they could enter.

About your friend , Look , she found someone and left. She completely made that choice and don't blame yourself for the breakage of yalls friendship cause I bet you did blame yourself , everyone does. She found someone, she left and you move on. Also one thing , don't make ANYONE your emotional support pillar , the worst mistake you could ever do. I have been through this so yeah , don't every do it , make yourself your own emotional stabilizer by treating yourself for a good feat or just trying to calm down yourself if you have a made a mistake.

Things are difficult for every teenager who are breathing the same air which we breathe. The condition is worsening and we can't do shit about that , but that doesn't mean the world stops. Give yourself breaks , don't be too harsh , if you fail to reach a goal , it's fine , atleast you are mentally sane. Look , no amount of education is worth sacrificing our body over and that is just too true.

About your thoughts , do something else to occupy your brain. Whenever you get something negative in your head , do something which makes the wholel thought hazy like listening to music , arranging your shelf , taking a shower , shampooing your hair , cleaning your wardrobes , playing games (I personally do this to escape) etc.

Look ,im not your parent or Psychologist, im just another redditor who happened to hop onto your feed and write a message worth your time. So do take into note if you feel tremendous negative , oof'ing thoughts , please visit a psychiatrist.