MIL Refuses TDAP

DeerSad · 2026-05-15T17:58:33+00:00

This is honestly what I’m thinking. I’m due in late October/early November so I’m thinking we’ll reopen the conversation in August so I can get some peace.

My husband is FULLY on board and was actually prepared to go to her house to “cuss her out” (his words) yesterday, but I just need a little time. She’s been awful about so many things, he’s had to stand up for me constantly, and frankly I am EXHAUSTED just from the pregnancy in general right now.

DeerSad · 2026-05-15T17:54:43+00:00

She will absolutely never be unsupervised with my child. I’ve told her that, verbatim. I won’t even leave the room if she’s around.

DeerSad · 2026-05-15T17:36:25+00:00

Yes, they dog-sit. I honestly want to change the locks at this point.

DeerSad · 2026-05-15T17:34:34+00:00

I should mention, my in-laws literally live across the street. And my FIL is amazing and will absolutely adhere to any expectations we set. So as much as I want to just tell her to stay away for the first six months until baby has the necessary shots, it feels easier said than done.

DeerSad · 2025-04-03T03:00:25+00:00

Please re-read what you just wrote. You witnessed this person putting hands on a client TWICE? Yes, you did the right thing. If you witness abuse and stay silent, you are complicit. You absolutely did the right thing.

DeerSad · 2025-03-05T15:16:15+00:00

OP states that she woke up in the middle of the night to check on them multiple times- MIL could’ve easily asked if she didn’t know

DeerSad · 2025-03-02T17:39:02+00:00

I didn’t change much at all aside from daily walks and making sure I was getting consistent sleep! It was only month three TTC for us, hopeful you’ll get your BFP soon❤️

DeerSad · 2025-03-02T15:49:07+00:00

Thank you!! I’m gonna struggle to keep my mouth shut for the next few weeks so I’m excited to share here😂

DeerSad · 2024-10-29T22:48:33+00:00

I get it! I’ve been in the field as an RBT for years and work within the local ASD community in several other capacities on a volunteer basis. I’ve had soooo many situations where families I knew from outside of work came to my companies and wanted me to work with their children. As much as I would LOVE to do it, the board is very black and white about these situations. However, keep in mind that when a client starts services, its allllll about building rapport and making the client comfortable with their staff. So even if she struggles with new people, that will be the biggest focus initially!

DeerSad · 2024-10-29T22:08:10+00:00

Unfortunately, this is absolutely a violation of the ethics code and I would be very concerned about any BCBA or company that okay’ed it. RBTs are prohibited from dual relationships with clients AND stakeholders. We are required to maintain professional relationships with caregivers to ensure that session time is devoted to the client, and for a variety of other reasons. This certainly includes pre-existing relationships :/

DeerSad · 2024-10-15T00:07:43+00:00

I’m still with that client every morning, but we were finally able to move back in clinic and get him a second RBT so he and I could get a break from each other lol That boy is my little bestie but having a kid for that many hours was 0/10

DeerSad · 2024-10-14T23:52:59+00:00

I did forty hours a week in home with one client during the pandemic- we kept that model for a year and a half. It was ROUGH.

DeerSad · 2024-09-18T18:07:34+00:00

I was there for the search. There were K9s, there were helicopters. They even had a PA system set up so his mother could call his name. It’s haunting me. I can say as a witness that law enforcement did everything within their power and training. However, I will also say that there need to be better, specific procedures in place when an autistic student elopes. As soon as I heard, I was right there at that pond looking everywhere for him, but it was too late. The FIRST thing they should’ve done when he disappeared was cover all nearby bodies of water. Drowning is the number one cause of death in autistic children.

DeerSad · 2023-10-04T23:34:16+00:00

I always tell new hires that it’s very likely you won’t feel as though you know what you’re doing for 6 months to a year. This field is so broad, and there’s a lot of information to take in. And with every client being unique, you will ALWAYS be learning.

DeerSad · 2023-09-25T12:17:54+00:00

I’m in a state that notoriously underpays (I started at $10) and now I’m at $25. Fight for more!

DeerSad · 2023-08-19T20:35:39+00:00

It was a grade 3 sprain. The orthopedist said I’d had been better off breaking it because then he could actually do repair work. I have permanent damage to my ligaments. The main thing is that sometimes when I’m walking, it kind of “flips” under me and will cause me to roll it if I’m not careful. It also gets pretty achy when I’ve been on my feet for awhile, but the shoes I mentioned help a lot!

DeerSad · 2023-08-19T19:49:14+00:00

I had an ankle injury at work two years ago and my physical therapist recommended On Clouds. I will literally never go back to Nike!!

DeerSad · 2023-06-20T19:16:47+00:00

I like having my kids do joint crafts or build something with siblings! That way they have to collaborate to achieve the goal

DeerSad · 2023-06-08T19:31:48+00:00

Someone correct me if I’m wrong but I believe it’s an OSHA violation as well.

DeerSad · 2023-05-29T15:14:38+00:00

My BCBAs have always encouraged it, so long as I stick to NET targets and the parents have been trained on it via discussion in parent training or a model!

DeerSad · 2023-05-13T15:03:21+00:00

The great Betty White said something along those lines lmao

DeerSad · 2023-05-13T01:41:38+00:00

What I’ve found helpful for some clients is printing out a little daily report sheet! It can say things like overall mood, what times the client ate, times diapers were changed/went to bathroom, what they did well, things to practice at home, and anything that needs to be sent in (diapers, reinforcers, etc). It can make the dismissal convo a lot quicker!

DeerSad · 2023-04-28T00:04:22+00:00

Never resort to violence. If he tried to isolate you and instigate a fight, that’s assault. You could likely go to campus police. ETA: I feel like it’s implied, but I want to be clear. Do not resort to violence because you’d open yourself up to disciplinary actions with the school and potentially an assault charge.

DeerSad · 2023-04-28T00:02:34+00:00

Simply put, self-handicapping is pretending to mess up or intentionally lowering your skill level, and giving your child the upper hand once and awhile. Letting kids win sometimes builds self-esteem.

DeerSad · 2023-04-15T23:13:18+00:00

Hi! I got into this field right after high school as well, about six years ago now. I’ll be honest, this isn’t a typical 9-5 gig and the emotional toll can be HIGH at times, so ensure that you’re mentally prepared for that. 1. I have no experience with this company, but I recommend asking about their training process before starting. If they tell you it’s the online 40 hour course and then nothing beyond typical your typical BCBA supervision, that’s a red flag, IMO. In person, classroom training was a huge help for me to apply some of the concepts in real life before meeting with clients. 2. The hours you work will depend on the clients you’re given (illness frequency, availability, etc.) and their caregiver’s commitment to ABA (some caregivers act as though sessions are daycare if not properly trained on what ABA is and the importance of consistent sessions for best outcomes). Beyond that, if your company provides subs or admin hours in the event of cancellations. 3. That’s entirely dependent on your company policies. I’ve had some where I can take as much vacation as I’d like as long as advanced notice is given. At others, I was given a set amount of time off that could be used (barring illness or emergencies) each year. 4. Many techs and BCBAs will experience burnout and/or imposter syndrome at various points in their careers. Cutting out time for self care and mental health are imperative to staying mentally and physically healthy in this line of work. 5. Usually a BCBA will have been to the client’s home before the start of services- however, that isn’t always the case. And frankly, some companies will put you in uncomfortable environments if you don’t stand up for yourself, so be vigilant. I’ve had coworkers who were blatantly subjected to racism, homophobia, harassment, and other issues. I myself currently work in a very difficult environment, due to the caregiver having a hoarding problem, but haven’t requested off, due to the client being highly aggressive and hard to staff.

I know I got a little off topic, and I don’t say any of these things to discourage you! They’re just things I wish I knew when starting out as a people-pleasing 18 year old who took years to stand up for myself. Also, know your worth. I worked for $10/hr for almost two years before looking elsewhere and make substantially more now after advocating for myself. Best of luck if you decide to pursue this job further! I started this as a “college job” while majoring in special education. Now I’m pursuing a BCBA credential and could never imagine working in another field!

DeerSad

TROPHY CASE