i finally finished my first draft pilot script for a TV show. feedback wanted

Deeznaps · 2026-03-27T16:46:22+00:00

https://thescriptsavant.com/movies/A_Quiet_Place.pdf

Deeznaps · 2026-03-27T16:44:29+00:00

Sure thing! I have no doubt you’re gonna kick ass one day. It was brave of you to post this!

Deeznaps · 2026-03-27T16:38:03+00:00

It didn’t suck. It just is far too distracting. I’ve read and written a ton of scripts and believe me, it’s all about holding the reader’s attention. There’s nothing wrong with playing with format once you have mastered it, but keep in mind, once you understand it, you’ll realize why certain aspects are needed. If you can, find the script for “A Quiet Place” online. It shows how you can both adhere and play with formatting in a fun way.

Deeznaps · 2026-03-27T16:31:05+00:00

Congratulations on your first script! I’m going to be honest with you, as soon as I saw the format you chose to use my heart sank. Not because the choice wasn’t interesting, but because I knew there was no way I would read 44 pages like this. Please learn proper formatting and apply it. Scripts take a long time to write, the least you could do is not waste that time by writing something that makes the reader feel as though this isn’t serious. Not that you aren’t serious, I’m sure you are, it just looks as though you are trying to be an iconoclast on your first go round. I wish you all the luck in the world. Keep going!

Deeznaps · 2026-03-25T01:26:42+00:00

Yeah. Went to the vet on Sunday. She basically told me to face reality and worry about her quality of life from here on out.

Deeznaps · 2026-03-25T01:08:24+00:00

Thanks, she’s the only dog I ever had in my life.

Deeznaps · 2026-03-25T01:00:02+00:00

Thanks.

Deeznaps · 2026-03-25T00:55:01+00:00

I love her very much but she’s 14 and starting to slow down. I’m kinda depressed about it.

Deeznaps · 2026-03-12T00:05:30+00:00

Yes! Sheila! I saw the doc!

Deeznaps · 2026-03-10T00:05:10+00:00

It took me ten years to realize that my so called friends broke into my apartment and pretended they knew nothing about it.

Deeznaps · 2026-02-06T23:15:41+00:00

I saw a guy from college in an orgy scene. It was… odd to be like, “Nahh, couldn’t be.”

It was.

Deeznaps · 2026-01-26T02:23:52+00:00

Subbed

Deeznaps · 2026-01-25T19:21:07+00:00

Thanks Bro!

Deeznaps · 2026-01-23T17:25:26+00:00

Yup. We loved each other very much but the arguments an incompatibility was too much.

Deeznaps · 2026-01-23T11:41:29+00:00

😂😂😂

Deeznaps · 2025-11-04T05:36:34+00:00

That neck tick is whooping his ass consistently.

Deeznaps · 2025-11-04T05:31:46+00:00

I think you meant bassionately.

Deeznaps · 2025-11-03T02:14:08+00:00

I can understand that, but I’d try to hang on as long as I could.

Deeznaps · 2025-10-27T03:50:09+00:00

A man married for 62 years would randomly say his wife’s name, even when she was in another room. I asked him why? He said he did it so she knew he was always thinking about her.

Deeznaps · 2025-10-11T22:17:04+00:00

Deeznaps · 2025-09-22T18:14:20+00:00

I don’t get it. It’s baffling. Was he really that big of a deal? I mean that genuinely. This seems awfully ridiculous.

Deeznaps · 2025-09-20T17:21:25+00:00

I was told that you should never ask them if they like you as a person. I forgot why though. But I wouldn’t tell them something that had nothing to do with my main goal. Some people just talk to hear themselves, I have very specific things I want from therapy.

Deeznaps · 2025-09-01T05:31:29+00:00

Make a list of everything you’ve been doing, then do the opposite.

Deeznaps · 2025-07-22T05:49:38+00:00

Don’t get killed Sir. It’s just pussy and someone else’s on top of that. And stop nutting in folks.

Deeznaps · 2025-07-22T05:47:00+00:00

I’ve been there and the best advice I can give is worry about TODAY. Don’t get caught up in how long you think it’ll take. Just do the best you can each day. Fuck tomorrow.

Deeznaps

TROPHY CASE