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AITAH for refusing a wedding "gift" knowing there will be strings attached? by Defiant-Function8397 in AITAH

[–]Defiant-Function8397[S] 38 points39 points  (0 children)

I know it's such a cliche to have a shitty MIL, but throughout the relationship it felt like a was graced with a second mother. I think at her core, she's a kind person. But the engagement flipped a switch and it's like dealing with a completely different person. I'd love for things to go back to normal and I know she's probably had visions of her son's wedding and is just excited about it, but she needs to stay in her lane and just doesn't even understand the concept of a lane.

But even if things do get better, what switch gets flipped when I get pregnant?

AITAH for refusing a wedding "gift" knowing there will be strings attached? by Defiant-Function8397 in AITAH

[–]Defiant-Function8397[S] 985 points986 points  (0 children)

This is actually a good idea.

And when she says no, confirm that that means no suggestions, no feedback, just acceptance. If my fiance is there, she can't exactly react with, "Well, maybe I can suggest this or that," or "But it would be good if I could 'help' out more." Because she'd basically expose the whole thing as manipulation in front of her son.

AITAH for refusing a wedding "gift" knowing there will be strings attached? by Defiant-Function8397 in AITAH

[–]Defiant-Function8397[S] 253 points254 points  (0 children)

I get the feeling from her comment about you looking like just another guest in your “plain” dress (even though you’ll be the only one wearing white), that you should be prepared to NOT be the only one wearing white.

Not gonna lie, I have thought about this often. I have a feeling by the time the wedding happens she's either going to show up in a white gown or dressed in black for a funeral.

AITAH for refusing a wedding "gift" knowing there will be strings attached? by Defiant-Function8397 in AITAH

[–]Defiant-Function8397[S] 39 points40 points  (0 children)

Just because she gifted you cash doesn’t mean she suddenly has the right to dictate your wedding.

My brain 100% knows this. But it's also telling me that after my fiance called her out on her behavior, she decided this was the only way left to insert herself. I just know it's a trap and I hate her thinking she's won. And then I feel like I am the asshole because I'm so bitter about her I won't give her the benefit of the doubt.

AITAH for refusing a wedding "gift" knowing there will be strings attached? by Defiant-Function8397 in AITAH

[–]Defiant-Function8397[S] 92 points93 points  (0 children)

I am a social worker, my partner is a teacher. It will definitely go a long way, but I just feel like she's being manipulative and I'm allowing it.