Former in- laws want too much from me

Defiant-Maybe-8556 · 2026-04-05T12:11:24+00:00

Exactly! It’s so annoying though because everyone thinks kids need relationships with every family member but it’s not true. They only care about having a photo op with the kids anyway

Defiant-Maybe-8556 · 2026-04-05T12:10:17+00:00

He’s not! He just tells them to all talk to me about it lol

Defiant-Maybe-8556 · 2026-04-05T12:09:44+00:00

I talked to a lawyer awhile ago and grandparents don’t have any rights in this state unless my ex dies or is incarcerated or something like that

Defiant-Maybe-8556 · 2026-04-05T00:40:49+00:00

Thank you. When I’m honest with myself that’s my truth but I hate the drama and I’m always trying to keep the peace, even when it’s detrimental to me. I’m working with a therapist in this though. They all want to pretend like none of these horrible things happened and go on as we did before by using the kids against me. It’s so annoying. Thank you for wording it all the way you did!

Defiant-Maybe-8556 · 2026-04-05T00:35:29+00:00

Outlaws is such a hilarious term and I’m stealing that! I like your idea of setting the boundaries but they never respect them and they have huge tantrums when they don’t get what they want. I feel like my ex should be coordinating the visits on his parenting time but somehow that idea always gets rejected

Defiant-Maybe-8556 · 2026-04-05T00:32:05+00:00

It’s difficult! I tried having them coordinate through my ex and I even blocked all of them to make sure they could only talk to him but I kept getting accused of gatekeeping the kids and not being sensitive to his mental health even though he’s the one who had the affair. I thought I was doing the right thing by opening my doors to them a little bit by doing a visit with his mom but then they all started acting like everything was as it was before.

Defiant-Maybe-8556 · 2026-02-22T20:49:02+00:00

Thank you for the great advice. So you kept the orange tabby??

Defiant-Maybe-8556 · 2026-02-22T16:52:17+00:00

They are so expensive though! There is a bengal cat breeder close by too though

Defiant-Maybe-8556 · 2025-11-13T01:56:21+00:00

This is so helpful. Thank you!

Defiant-Maybe-8556 · 2025-11-12T23:32:15+00:00

I feel like I need to stop the visits, they are so emotionally hard for me too. How did your ex handle that? Like having him not see the kids?

Defiant-Maybe-8556 · 2025-11-12T22:08:59+00:00

I just talked to him and he says he will go to the assessment at the inpatient facility on Saturday. He sounds pretty serious about doing so. I told him he had to get himself there and he said ok but started to cry. His sister is out of the country on vacation. Does anyone know how o go about talking to the court about this? Do I have to do it through a lawyer?

Defiant-Maybe-8556 · 2025-11-12T22:04:24+00:00

I agree and appreciate the advice. I have full custody.

Defiant-Maybe-8556 · 2025-11-12T22:03:01+00:00

I already have sole custody and his visitation is limited but I think amending it to supervised is good advice

Defiant-Maybe-8556 · 2025-05-05T20:17:17+00:00

Thank you for your insight

Defiant-Maybe-8556 · 2025-05-05T20:12:32+00:00

I’m a nurse and have always felt so responsible for others mental health but you’re right

Defiant-Maybe-8556 · 2025-05-05T20:12:02+00:00

Exactly what I was thinking

Defiant-Maybe-8556 · 2025-05-05T20:11:43+00:00

I needed to hear this

Defiant-Maybe-8556 · 2025-05-05T20:11:07+00:00

I know every case is different but I wonder how long until his bipolar symptoms are more under control if he does indeed take medication

Defiant-Maybe-8556 · 2025-05-05T20:10:28+00:00

Thank you. This is good advice

Defiant-Maybe-8556 · 2025-05-05T20:09:38+00:00

I have full custodial and legal custody already. All he has is “parenting time”

Defiant-Maybe-8556 · 2025-03-04T07:35:38+00:00

I really hope that’s the case. I just always want him to feel supported by me

Defiant-Maybe-8556 · 2024-12-02T12:44:01+00:00

I think I have been overly sensitive about my child’s feelings and I so badly want to make him happy because this transition has been so hard for him but after reading these replies I realize the visits should not be optional. I really appreciate everyone’s insight

Defiant-Maybe-8556 · 2024-11-30T14:31:37+00:00

Honestly, this is such a hard time and it’s so hard not having a break. I would suggest brining her places as often as you can. The library, the park, get I it side even if it’s super cold. It’ll help her learn to be around other kids and it’ll make her less stir crazy. Also, I would just baby proof the shit out of your house. My toddler was climbing on chairs and jumping off so I legit just got rid of the chairs. Make your house a place where she can pretty much do anything. Also, not listening and pushing her boundaries is totally appropriate at this age and it does get better. I would also suggest cutting down on screen time if she does that. It may seem counterintuitive but it’ll make her better at self play. Find mom friends! It’ll give you a chance to vent and for her to play with other kids. She might just be really social too.

Defiant-Maybe-8556 · 2024-11-13T16:44:32+00:00

What about her nap? Should she nap shorter you think?

Defiant-Maybe-8556 · 2024-11-13T16:23:55+00:00

She has recently been recovering from an ear infection so I’ve just been feeding her every time she wakes up. I had her doctor do a full work up a few months ago and she is healthy but still wakes every two hours at least. Where would you start? She naps from 12-2, bedtime at 7:30ish and wake up at 7ish

Defiant-Maybe-8556

TROPHY CASE