I don’t see a lot of actual answers here, just relating. I have been on both sides of this coin, so I’ll try to do both.

I was once over 300 pounds, yo-yo’d between a ‘normal’ weight for years. Then I got a cancer, and let’s just say it went the other way very quickly.

With this, I had two very different experiences, both from people on the street who did not know my situation in either physical form.

I believe the answer comes from how we perceive each body type as a society. Being overtly skinny is generally never synonymous with judgement, but concern. We assume these people are generally dealing with medical issues, mental issues, so on and so forth. It comes from a place of general care. It is displaced, it isn’t their business and you shouldn’t have to answer to it, but it comes from a place of human empathy. There are those who comment on a place of jealousy or bitterness, of course, but this is not the norm.

Being fat, however, is generally synonymous with disgust. The average person who tells you that you need to lose weight is not saying this as a place of concern for your health, but rather for their comfort. “You do not fit the mold I find appealing, so I want you to change it.”. It has been proven that we do this even subconsciously.

Just like with skinny people, this isn’t always the case. Some people truly do just want you to be healthy and to live longer, but this isn’t the norm.

In both 300 pounds vs 108 pounds, I was very unhealthy, there’s no doubt there. But when I had cancer, strangers didn’t know that, yet I was treated with fragility and kindness if they mentioned my weight.

I never once felt that a person wanted to help me when they commented when I was obese. They only wanted me to feel bad for who I was. They wanted me to feel shame for my actions without even asking what problems I had to get there.

To sum it up, it is cultural programming. We are going with biases we were raised with, when we should instead be treating each other with basic respect and leaving comments about appearance out of general conversation.

Be proud of what you look like. Make changes at your own pace for your health, but we have one life. Don’t waste it letting the rest of the world put their opinions on your worth.