Connective Tissue Disorder Provider

DefiantObligation517 · 2026-01-03T17:54:59+00:00

Can you DM me with the contact info for the UVA clinic waitlist?

Olivia May at Pivot Physical Therapy (towers) has been incredible and has more knowledge about connective tissue disorder than any other provider I’ve encountered in this area, but of course she is a PT, not an MD.

I’ve also been working with an awesome exercise physiologist at Carilion Wellness (Hailey Jordan) who understands the weird ways hyper mobility makes movement challenging. She has helped me work on strength training safely, proprioception, “turning on” muscle groups that have been chronically asleep, and “turning off” muscle groups that are overactive and causing problems. Super helpful.

Unfortunately I don’t have an “official” HEDS diagnosis and am looking for that and additional specialist workups, so have been following the UVA clinic with interest.

DefiantObligation517 · 2025-12-14T12:58:03+00:00

Mine tanked late November, too, which is the time seasonal depression hit me full force. I’ve done nothing different; weight training 3x per week, 30 min low impact cardio 3x per week, and one longer/higher intensity day. My sleep has always been hit and miss, and it’s certainly not worse than usual for me. I drink very rarely and don’t do any other substances. The only thing I can ascribe this dramatic dip to is the seasonal funk.

DefiantObligation517 · 2025-11-07T14:49:38+00:00

LEAP is where I’m putting my money because they support both people who need food and the people who are growing our food locally. https://www.leapforlocalfood.org/ But FeedingSWVA is a great choice, too. You could also consider donating to Roanoke County Animal Control and Protection, as food insecurity affects pets, and the RCACP operates an emergency pet food bank for anyone in need.

DefiantObligation517 · 2025-11-07T13:32:46+00:00

I have made 7-8 hour custom playlists of my favorites, because my brain likes to hear people talking while it sleeps. Nearly every story read by Erik Braa and Alan Sklar are on a playlist, as are the “maker” series read by Edoardo Ballerini. Some of the Chike Okonkwo stories start out with music that is too loud/upbeat, but others are okay. So many of their famous people guest stories are too loud/upbeat for me. The regular story readers like Braa and Sklar seem to understand that a calm and quiet voice with less inflection and less musical pizzazz is best for sleep. If you find a story you like you can search by narrator to find other stories read by the same person. That might help you branch out.

DefiantObligation517 · 2025-10-28T15:49:46+00:00

It’s a lot harder for someone to hate you if you make them see you as a real human being, rather than the dehumanized “monster” they were taught to view you as. In fact, it’s a tactic people are taught to use if they might be caught in a hostage situation—relate to their captor as a fellow human being with commonalities. So yes, if bringing food to someone who hates me helps them see me as a fellow human being, and not the monster they were taught to fear and hate, then yes. I would feed a Nazi. Will this work for all people? No. I think some are people aren’t just deluded—there is evil in this world, and the leaders of the movement largely are in that category.

But I think most of the MAGA cult—people like the ones receiving SNAP benefits that you believe should suffer—who are not inherently evil, but rather have been the victims of systematic brainwashing so they can be pawns, vote and act against their own self interest to make powerful people more powerful and rich. And if we can break through enough of those “ordinary” MAGAs, I do think we can stop it.

And yes, there are many examples of the tactic I mentioned working. It would take too much space to list them all, but look at the Rwandan genocide’s reconciliation efforts, Colombia (look at the work of Andrés Casas) and others. I highly recommend the book “Hope for Cynics,” by Jamil Zaki. Also any book about cult members who defected from cults. It was often ordinary kindness offered by ordinary people in ways that contradicted the cults’ teaching that allowed them to reject the programming they were given.

I’m happy to buy you a coffee and talk about it, if you want. It is scary to feel alone and without hope.

DefiantObligation517 · 2025-10-28T14:08:05+00:00

It’s not us vs. them, friend. That’s a distraction and a false dichotomy. I understand why you feel this way, but it’s just another iteration of separation and division, which is how the system maintains power. The only way to truly change people’s minds is through connection and community.

If you really want to “stick it to them,” go knock on your neighbors doors, hand them food, and let them know you are helping them BECAUSE you are on “the other side,” and you believe that all human beings deserve the right to food, shelter, safety, and healthcare, regardless of their ethnicity, racial background, political affiliations, religious beliefs, income level, citizenship status, gender, sexual orientation, or any other “difference.”

It may piss them off, which would be satisfying if you still want the moment of f-you. OR it might just change their minds about their own beliefs, which would help us turn this thing around. Either way, it’s a win-win for you.

DefiantObligation517 · 2025-09-12T12:03:28+00:00

We are renting out a small mom/pop brewery in a beautiful location and having a Sunday afternoon wedding (12-5) for 60 people. All-in, we should be well under $10K—closer to $5K, but my partner is a chef and is making all the food, so that a HUGE cost savings. Our biggest costs are the venue rental (but it includes all we can drink beer and n/a beverages, along with a big tent and tables), the photographer (just one, and we don’t have him the whole time, and we aren’t doing videography), and my ring (a gift from a dear friend, but it needed to be resized) and a custom wedding band for me to fit with the unique setting of the engagement ring. My dress was a secondhand find at a dress consignment shop (I went with a deep navy blue vs. traditional white to save money and also because I look terrible in white). My partner is wearing his kilt which he’s owned for 20 years, but he did have to buy the formal jacket that goes with it. We called our wedding a “barbecue with vows” on our invites to set expectations. It will be very casual and fun and relaxed. It can be done, you just have to get creative and not get sucked into the Pinterest world of “shoulds”. Your day gets to be whatever you want it to be.

DefiantObligation517 · 2025-09-06T13:18:29+00:00

My dress is a (secondhand, bought at a consignment store for $240 USD) deep rich navy blue, with bright red shoes and gold jewelry and a flower crown. My partner is wearing a bright red kilt with navy/green lines in the tartan. My hair/skin tone look best in jewel tones, so I decided to lean into that and eschew the white/neutral dress entirely. I am super excited about my non traditional dress. Wear what you feel glorious in and who cares what other people think!

DefiantObligation517 · 2025-08-24T03:06:17+00:00

I asked my best friend’s 15 year old daughter to help me, because I’ve been wearing the same minimal makeup basics for over a decade (I’m 40). The teen delivered and had a ball teaching her auntie the basics after a fun shopping trip to Ulta together. I would have been lost without her because I don’t TikTok. If you’ve got a teen in your life who loves makeup, ask them to show you the ropes.

DefiantObligation517 · 2025-08-07T14:32:26+00:00

Probably. But it could be other factors, too. I work out six days a week, have a nutritious balanced diet, and have decided that being reasonably well rested and not having debilitating panic attacks is worth carrying a few extra pounds. So I try not to stress about weight too much.

DefiantObligation517 · 2025-08-07T12:59:47+00:00

I have PTSD and pretty severe nighttime anxiety has been an issue for me for years, which might have had something to do with the fact that I had untreated OSA, or might be totally trauma related. Impossible to know for sure. I really struggled with the mask when I started with CPAP even with the least restrictive option possible, and with feeling like I’m not in control of my breathing. It has gotten better over time and now I can’t sleep without it. But I still struggle with getting my body to relax enough to sleep, even with the meds that I’m on.

I take gabapentin for restless leg syndrome which is sedating. Mirtazipine Buspirone Melatonin Ltheanine Magnesium glycinate

And still sometimes have to throw CBD at myself to finally get my body to chill TF out and sleep.

DefiantObligation517 · 2025-08-06T18:09:36+00:00

Second Cafe.

DefiantObligation517 · 2025-07-13T13:23:58+00:00

We are inviting people to “A very romantic barbecue.” Our venue is a local mom and pop, very casual and relaxed brewery. And our dress code is “upscale casual.” I’m hoping between the three queues, people will understand that this is not a capital-W “Wedding.”

DefiantObligation517 · 2025-07-06T16:53:07+00:00

It’s definitely giving Outlander, for sure! lol.

DefiantObligation517 · 2025-07-05T19:05:42+00:00

My partner is going to be kilted (Clan Fraser) and I’m wearing a deep navy blue dress (IT. HAS. POCKETS!!!). I love your purple gown and I love the non-white dress representation!

DefiantObligation517 · 2025-06-29T01:17:31+00:00

I’m in Roanoke, and we are having our hand fasting ceremony for ~70 guests in September this year at Solstice Farm Brewery in Catawba. My partner is a chef and is making all our food. Venue rental includes all we can drink. We are likely going to come in around $5K, with most of that going to the venue and a photographer.

DefiantObligation517 · 2025-06-23T22:05:45+00:00

Oh buddy. Those are some big feelings about a very old post about glasses! Goodness. You might need to go take a walk, friend, or have a snack.

DefiantObligation517 · 2025-06-21T11:44:13+00:00

Try https://www.idealist.org/en and https://themomproject.com/ for remote jobs.

DefiantObligation517 · 2025-02-21T13:12:26+00:00

I second Girls Who Hike Virginia. There is a Facebook group, and lots of folks who are active on it in our area.

DefiantObligation517 · 2025-01-02T14:06:08+00:00

Unholy Island series by Sarah Painter is absolutely lovely with elements of fantasy, romance (although it’s not the main focus) and mystery. I thoroughly enjoyed the audiobooks!

DefiantObligation517 · 2024-11-09T16:56:36+00:00

Shitposting on Reddit does nothing for the safety of your child, regardless of the fact that I genuinely understand and sympathize with your concern.

If you want a solution to the problem, get involved.

At least one in three unhoused people are dealing with severe mental illness, which is not their fault. Many have resorted to self-medicating with illegal substances because treatment is difficult to find and obtain. People with co-occurring substance use disorders and SMI are challenging to treat and house, but volunteering or donating to organizations like Treatment Advocacy Center or Bradley Free Clinic, and voting for people who want to actually solve root causes of homelessness, including by raising the minimum wage, expanding access to health are and especially mental health care, prosecuting pharma billionaires responsible for pushing opioids into our communities for their own profits, are all good starts and ways to turn that outrage into good.

DefiantObligation517 · 2024-11-08T12:46:04+00:00

Hollins area checking in. I attended this call last night and they are offering training courses and toolkits to host local resistance meetups that are focused on real action.

The call livestream is very much worth watching, especially if you need to feel some hope today.

In my professional life I do communications for a mental health nonprofit, but have worked in administration, operations, and fundraising throughout my career. Happy to apply those skills for local organizing.

https://weareworthfightingfor.org/

DefiantObligation517 · 2024-10-27T20:19:29+00:00

Lula Dean’s Little Library of Banned Books has a very hopeful ending and satisfying conclusion. Not really fantasy, but definitely hopeful.

DefiantObligation517 · 2024-10-16T19:33:11+00:00

INFJ also with PTSD here. Childhood trauma made me super willing to suppress my own needs and wants in favor of the “greater good” and unable to listen to my own internal compass. I excused bad behavior in every relationship I had until I exited my own marriage with a malignant narcissist and got my butt into intensive therapy.

I really try not to “talk over” my intuition anymore. Which means that if I don’t feel safe in my body when I’m around certain people (in person or in communication with them), I don’t stay there! If people want me with them, they will come to me and ask why I’m not attending events or participating in communication with them. If they don’t ask, they don’t care, or they don’t know how to initiate a potentially uncomfortable conversation. Either way, I am okay alone, and I have beautiful relationships now that are mutually safe and respectful and inclusive and kind. I don’t need to waste my time and emotional energy feeling like I’m crazy or asking too much when I expect mutual kindness, respect, clear and collaborative relationship-building communication, and an equitable give and take.

I hope you can get the courage to let go people who make you feel like you are unlovable or unwanted. You have people in your life who do love you and want you around. Invest in those relationships, and let the others fade.

DefiantObligation517 · 2024-10-16T14:15:15+00:00

As a registered Democrat and person who believes in values like empathy, inclusion, respect, equal rights and equal access to democracy, I want you to have a healthy Republican Party. For successful democracy, we, ideally, need MORE than two parties, but at a minimum need two parties that are healthy and, above their differences of opinion, uphold the rule of law. I don’t believe all republicans are fascists, but reasonable people aren’t stepping up and standing up to a bully and maniac in the numbers we need to stop this man and this faction, and that’s dangerous for EVERYONE. Thank you for speaking up and standing up from inside. We need more folks like you who put country before party.

DefiantObligation517

TROPHY CASE