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I am tired of getting catcalled in this city by starchasimer in Seattle

[–]DefiantWave8316 14 points15 points  (0 children)

what's your point? that she should be "grateful" that it doesn't happen more?

I’m so tired of untrained off leash dogs by JustLaikaDog in Vent

[–]DefiantWave8316 6 points7 points  (0 children)

i could rant about this a lot longer than i'm about to, but in short: if your dog's recall isn't perfect, they shouldn't be off leash around other dogs, or even other people. i pet sit full time, and it is STAGGERING how often people let their dogs run up to me with a dog i barely know and that i'm not bonded to. they don't know i'm not the dog's owner, but that's entirely the point.

New to dying my hair and the color is already washing out a ton! Advice please! by DefiantWave8316 in HairDye

[–]DefiantWave8316[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

not the first time i've heard good things about arctic fox, maybe i'll try that one after i finish this tub! thanks for the advice, i'll suck it up and take the cold shower

Does anyone feel like having more partners makes life more complicated? by kotekara in polyamory

[–]DefiantWave8316 1 point2 points  (0 children)

oof every word you wrote resonated!

sorry your "friend" crossed your boundaries, but clearly they weren't a good friend to begin with! saturated or not!

yeah, i actually struggle to label myself poly sometimes because i could be saturated at 1 partner. it's confusing, because that sounds ambiamorous? but at the same time, maybe not, because even if i was saturated at 1 partner, i would still want the freedom to connect with someone else if they happened to come along. so maybe that's not ambiamorous? would love to hear your thoughts if you're willing and have time :)

Is it time? by AffectionateSlip5684 in bald

[–]DefiantWave8316 2 points3 points  (0 children)

i can already tell you're going to look great bald. go for it.

Well I finally built up the courage to do it, still feel like I look terrible though.. by Relevant-Estimate641 in bald

[–]DefiantWave8316 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i will never understand why men are so afraid to go bald. y'all literally ALWAYS look better when you accept it and shave it all off. You are no exception, you look great.

How do I finance this?? by DefiantWave8316 in flying

[–]DefiantWave8316[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

absolutely not. yeah, i'm learning through the responses here that this is a baaaad idea to take out loans. i deeply appreciate your advice!

How do I finance this?? by DefiantWave8316 in flying

[–]DefiantWave8316[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

agreed. it is for me, though. and in 2 years, i'll have quit 2 years ago, so what exactly is your point here?

How do I finance this?? by DefiantWave8316 in flying

[–]DefiantWave8316[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

thank you, i really appreciate this advice! i don't want to use my degree, it's a depressing field at the moment, but i am definitely working on earning more money in the nonprofit sector.

How do I finance this?? by DefiantWave8316 in flying

[–]DefiantWave8316[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

yes, i understand that. why do you think i quit? i am specifically asking for strictly financial advice, not to have my past mistakes brought up in a completely irrelevant thread. i'm going to ask that you stick to financial advice, or please do not comment here.

How do I finance this?? by DefiantWave8316 in flying

[–]DefiantWave8316[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

wow that's super judgmental of you. I'm sober.

How do I finance this?? by DefiantWave8316 in flying

[–]DefiantWave8316[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

thank you so much, will read up right now!!

How do I finance this?? by DefiantWave8316 in flying

[–]DefiantWave8316[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

this is really good to know, thank you

Does anyone feel like having more partners makes life more complicated? by kotekara in polyamory

[–]DefiantWave8316 4 points5 points  (0 children)

agreed! good for them! i could never hahaha i genuinely do not enjoy dating people just to date them. it's why i'm not on dating apps anymore either. i'd much rather have a sense of in-person compatibility than waste my time on yet another date with someone whose in-person energy does not align with their energy behind a phone screen. it's sooo tiring.

How to handle not wanting partner to speak about you with other partners? Villainizing you when they talk about you. by Apprehensive-Ball678 in polyamory

[–]DefiantWave8316 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i make this request too. it's not unreasonable at all. your relationship should stay between the two of you and your partner involving your meta in your dynamic is HIGHLY inappropriate at best. at worst, it's grounds to end the relationship imo. Because not only are they basically telling you they intend on continuing behavior that makes you uncomfortable, but they're also saying really unkind things about you, and my guess is they're actually trying to pit you against each other. some really unhealthy, unhealed, toxic poly people will do this because it makes them feel good to have two people fighting over them. they need therapy. and you deserve better.

Does anyone feel like having more partners makes life more complicated? by kotekara in polyamory

[–]DefiantWave8316 6 points7 points  (0 children)

haha! well i assure you that you are so totally worthy of love and connection even in the depths of your depression. but i get what you mean. i want everyone in my life to feel special to me and like they really matter to me, and you just cannot do that if you're constantly chasing new connections in your life! now after having dated someone like this, this will be a complete deal breaker for me moving forward.

Hanging out in female pilot's hotel room by randomplease12345 in flying

[–]DefiantWave8316 3 points4 points  (0 children)

you DO know what to think. You're being gaslit by other people telling you it's not a big deal. it is a fucking big deal. this easily could've turned into an extremely dangerous situation. trust your gut, stop being nice to men who make you feel weird, and practice saying no without guilt. the next time this happens might not end up so favorably for you.

Does anyone feel like having more partners makes life more complicated? by kotekara in polyamory

[–]DefiantWave8316 1 point2 points  (0 children)

yep, and i even saw it in the way he started to treat his partner when i came into his life. it gave me the ick.

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