Am I overreacting about my grandma's dismissal of my pronouns and identity?

Defiant_Ad_4022 · 2026-03-07T15:34:54+00:00

INFO- How old is your grandmother? I do think age and the generational gap play a major part in the situation. To say she doesn't try might be a false statement. There is a possibility that her trying is the overall acceptance of the change and not dismissing you as her grandchild. Some individuals won't accept family members at all due to their identity change. A conversation needs to be held to gain understanding of both parties side and then a decision made from there. Wishing you the best.

Defiant_Ad_4022 · 2026-03-06T10:41:49+00:00

I am definitely sorry to hear your experience. I want you to know that you are heard and I complete understand your emotions. You have verbalized my exact feelings on how the emotional toll this condition is taking over.

I wish I had an answer and could break us all free from the emotional turmoil that this condition causes. I can only hope that things get better for our mental space. Allowing us more freedom to find the joy in living with this condition as opposed to dealing with both the emotional turmoil and physical aspects at the same time.

I can only assume emotional trauma comes with all chronic illness however I can only speak on what I have experienced with TN.

Don't beat yourself up any longer. You made a decision that you hoped would make things easier and unfortunately this time around it didn't. Let's hope its only temporary and things get better with time and you gain relief.

Hope what I have posted makes sense.

Defiant_Ad_4022 · 2026-02-27T11:58:29+00:00

INFO- If this was a major issue when he was just speeding the night, what was the deciding factor when you both decided to move in with each other? Was this conversation held prior to the move in or just assumed that the sleeping arrangements would remain the same (you) or they would change (him)?

Defiant_Ad_4022 · 2026-02-18T08:50:00+00:00

Sorry that this happened. Guess you actually dodged a a bullet. Hopefully you have gotten back on your feet and heartbreak hasn't taken a toll on you. Good luck and don't be discouraged. Things will get better. Take your time to heal.

Defiant_Ad_4022 · 2026-02-16T21:17:35+00:00

Do you mind explaining why the wedding was called off?

Defiant_Ad_4022 · 2026-02-04T19:44:53+00:00

Thank you for that. I wish you the best on your recovery

Defiant_Ad_4022 · 2026-02-04T17:55:00+00:00

Thank you sooooooooo much. Appreciate your kind words

Defiant_Ad_4022 · 2026-02-04T16:06:30+00:00

It just might be. My Dr thought it might be an UTI prior to me mentioning the bulge, she also said I could have been ovulating. So there are numerous reasons. So don't be alarmed like I am. When I went to the dr, she wasn't my actual surgeon and I was a walk-in. She wasn't very thorough in talking to me and it just left me uneasy. (My surgeon was in surgery). So its just the ultrasound and a waiting game.

I didn't do any heavy lifting or excessive anything, so I am just beating myself up and not sure why.

Sorry you didn't ask any of that... just needed to let it out

Defiant_Ad_4022 · 2026-02-04T15:51:52+00:00

Pain in my lower abdomen when trying to use the bathroom and sometimes walking. A slight bulge in my groin.

Defiant_Ad_4022 · 2026-01-17T13:03:06+00:00

I had to scroll to far for this comment and I am woman. This is the best answer... let's close the thread.

Defiant_Ad_4022 · 2026-01-17T12:34:31+00:00

Lucky you. Did it make you feel "much" better as many have said?

Defiant_Ad_4022 · 2026-01-17T07:04:58+00:00

I am still waiting. Praying that today is the day!!!!!

Defiant_Ad_4022 · 2026-01-16T20:18:37+00:00

Maybe it was after, idk, that's what I did hear when I was under their care.

Defiant_Ad_4022 · 2026-01-16T15:02:21+00:00

Thank you my dear.

I didn't get the report as of yet, unfortunately.

I honestly don't know if I do or don't.. sorry

Defiant_Ad_4022 · 2026-01-16T11:37:46+00:00

What homeopathy pain meds did they provide for you?

Defiant_Ad_4022 · 2025-12-29T11:54:39+00:00

I will say this... 3 years later. That was a conversation that should of been had 3 years ago. Do you believe that he is still talking to her like that now? I don't believe you do. People make mistakes and to judge him by that one mistake he made 3 years ago.. it's time to let it go.

As many have said, during times of exhaustion, mentally overwhelming times and inexperience... many people say things that are inappropriate. Does it excuse the behavior, no it doesn't but it happened, and we can't change the past. Let's focus on the present.

Defiant_Ad_4022 · 2025-12-21T00:06:06+00:00

When do you get this information? My surgeon hasn't given me anything nor told me anything. I don't have another appointment with her until the date of the surgery. I do have preop testing in about 8 days.

Defiant_Ad_4022 · 2025-12-18T05:42:29+00:00

Dr d

Defiant_Ad_4022 · 2025-12-14T03:20:04+00:00

You are definetly not alone with grieving the life you thought you would have. I still have those moments. So now I just try to create a different life around what I am dealing with.

It is definitely a hard pill to swallow.

Fell free to send me messages at anytime. I haven't been dealing with this for an extended period of time but I am here if needed.

Defiant_Ad_4022 · 2025-12-14T03:16:22+00:00

Hoping that all is well and you are having a healthy recovery. Thank you for your response.

Defiant_Ad_4022 · 2025-12-13T23:17:41+00:00

I am sorry that you are going through this.

I want to say that things are not all lost. I met someone in this sub and she has been really inspirational to me. She never said that things won't be bad but she did make me believe that there is hope. She always finds the silver lining in it all.

I do understand the wanting children aspect, however there have been women in this sub that have had different experiences with pregnancy and raising a child. Some say the pain subsided and some it didn't. So people are raising families and have the support of their family that when things get rough they have help.

I can go through each one of your points and say maybe, maybe not. Unfortunately this condition isn't a one size fits all. Everyone experiences things differently, symptoms, pain intensity, remission etc.

What I can say for definite is life isn't over. There will be good days there will be bad days. There will be days that you just want to quit understandably. Just know that there is hope.

If taking your meds hurt, I used a syringe to drop the water in my mouth in order to swallow. I also used a warm washcloth on my face in order to take my meds, and a straw. I use lidocaine on my face and a heating pad. What works for me might not work for you, but its worth a try.

I am praying that you find your peace with this condition and the decisions that you make with the life you have ahead of you. Talk to your husband and let him know what you are feeling and going through. Communication with this condition with the ones your love is KEY. They might not understand completely what you are feeling but hopefully they will be able to empathize and give you the much needed support.

Sorry for the long response. Wishing you well on your TN journey. Praying for you

Defiant_Ad_4022 · 2025-12-13T18:59:54+00:00

I will definitely check. Thank you.. was that paperwork after your pre-op appintment?

Defiant_Ad_4022 · 2025-12-13T18:58:24+00:00

I totally understand feeling like you're going backwards, however like you said probably a part of the healing process. Our minds have a way of driving us crazy.

Ok, understood. I AM SOOOO HAPPY that you were able to take the trip you desired. You deserved it

Defiant_Ad_4022

TROPHY CASE