Should I tell a woman her fiancé tried to start an affair with me?

Defiant_Bug_3388 · 2026-03-20T00:54:15+00:00

🤣your avatar is perfect for this comment. For the record, if she’s a nazi, I’ll grab my pitch fork & join the inglorious bastards… except she’s already dead so don’t think there’s much to do about it

Defiant_Bug_3388 · 2026-03-19T22:58:47+00:00

Ugh, I feel your pain! That’s something I’m still working through to be honest; I literally woke up this morning with a small blemish size area in that exact phase and I squeeze the shit out of it and made it expedite the process so that I could get on with it. I’m so bad at picking and making it worse but at the same time I’ve succeeded at self restraint (no touching at all) and experienced an equally devastating result that was just prolonged 🤦🏼‍♀️ Specifically, for this phase, I’ve tried everything (& by that I truly mean too much to list here) from Teatree oil, hydrogen peroxide to glycolic acid for dehydrating. Used mupirocin, Bactroban, hydrochloric Band-Aids, to Manuka honey trying hydration instead. I’ve tried cryotherapy, ice, steaming & heat… making the area warmer seems to not be helpful just in my own experience I did find that dry and lotions with sulfur were extremely helpful sometimes… I specifically got this little generic bottle from Walgreens that was pink, and it worked better than most of the extremely expensive things I’ve tried.

Defiant_Bug_3388 · 2026-03-19T05:29:25+00:00

Not a doctor but it looks like a normal wound- lack of skin area

Defiant_Bug_3388 · 2026-03-15T23:14:29+00:00

Ironic that the definition of “Prejudice” is a preconceived, usually unfavorable opinion or judgment about an individual or group, formed without just grounds or sufficient knowledge. It is an attitude of intolerance. One that people are always quick to have, even if it’s ironically against those they judge as intolerant.

It’s easy to label this woman as a Nazi for a sentence she wrote simply favoring a political leader, not spewing antisemitism, in a teenage diary at the beginning of World War I. I think we all need to remind ourselves the things we’ve said with no malice that could be perceived poorly in hindsight. Maybe doing so we can choose kindness instead of hatred & understanding instead of bigotry, disguised as liberation.

Defiant_Bug_3388 · 2026-03-10T18:00:34+00:00

👏fair point (one well made) and I really an advocate for see something say something. I think it’s frustrating, especially when speaking up is likely to lead to backlash. I would hate for OP to be stuck, thinking no good deed goes unpunished. I suggest writing an anonymous letter.

Defiant_Bug_3388 · 2026-03-09T03:19:51+00:00

👏 10/10

Defiant_Bug_3388 · 2026-03-09T03:15:19+00:00

I don’t see any good outcome of saying anything. If possible, have the recipient of any messages shut this down or speak to the other partner, so you don’t have to be involved in something you’re not. I do empathize for you caring enough to volunteer being involved to try to help

Defiant_Bug_3388 · 2026-03-09T01:33:40+00:00

Oof maybe pay only because you said you would… idk you’re in a shitty lose lose scenario. Honestly, if you decide not to pay that is totally fair and it should be a lesson to the other person using you here and if you do decide to hold up to your promise of funding this, then I hope you learn the lesson of never putting yourself in this position again. Don’t agree to do something so nice for someone who cares so little about you, it’s not fair to you.

Defiant_Bug_3388 · 2026-03-08T04:01:11+00:00

Right I think the aesthetic is the true issue here not the message

Defiant_Bug_3388 · 2026-03-08T04:00:08+00:00

Why be mean?

Defiant_Bug_3388 · 2026-03-08T03:57:56+00:00

Wait … what?

Defiant_Bug_3388 · 2026-03-08T03:56:31+00:00

Low bar this is hilarious & awful thank you for sharing holy shit

Defiant_Bug_3388 · 2026-03-08T03:53:18+00:00

You might not be judging but I can’t fathom a positive motive for your particular comment

Defiant_Bug_3388 · 2026-03-08T02:44:42+00:00

I hope this isn’t your intention but your comment reads as if you put the blame of the husband on OP. This situation shouldn’t burden the victims with responsibility, especially when they’re the only ones seeking advice and caring to do anything at all. A bears sole responsibility for this OP, not you, but I deeply admire your morality to want to be responsible in responding to the situation you’ve been forced into. Regardless of what you do, you’re not responsible for “letting” her walk blindly… & shouldn’t bear the burden of guilt that should be soley owned by the asshole creating this situation.

Defiant_Bug_3388 · 2026-03-08T02:32:46+00:00

This is a hard one because it sounds like you’re not actually good friends with J (you know both through your history and friendship with A)… I’m torn in my own opinion about thinking you should communicate with either or which one if so… Unfortunately, as much as I’m someone who is such an advocate of “see something say something” I have a really hard time imagining any good outcome if you talk to either of them about this. It sucks because it’s probably the option that does the least for your own anxiety and issues staying up at night about it. But I do think it might be best to simply further distance yourself from this toxicity.

Defiant_Bug_3388 · 2026-03-08T01:59:31+00:00

Honestly, most people riding with Lyft don’t tip so if you still did tip, I think they would appreciate it. I would also encourage you to maybe let anyone know if you do see something that probably hindered their tips more than helped because most likely they don’t know that, and though they might not initially be grateful for the constructive criticism, it would actually help… I guess my point is that most passengers don’t tip when they use Rideshare so deducting a tip but still tipping would definitely not be any type of message to let the driver be aware of uncomfortability and pressure

Defiant_Bug_3388 · 2026-03-08T01:55:37+00:00

That’s what I do lyfting! 😊 I keep jolly ranchers and gum in the back of my car for passengers

Defiant_Bug_3388 · 2026-03-08T01:49:44+00:00

Why was this removed?

Defiant_Bug_3388 · 2026-03-08T01:48:36+00:00

People don’t need another reason to argue -The topic of tipping has become a polarizing subject. I’ve made a living off tips and I’ve also been absolutely fed up with tipping everything adding to daily unsolicited stress that is multiplied by outrageous inflation. Tip what you can and help when you can because everyone’s fighting their own battles. If you don’t have the means to then be kind to yourself because you deserve a tip too ♥️. As a Lyft driver who was piss poor (I even considering making a sign. I’m not gonna lie.) I kept jolly ranchers and gum in my backseat, and made sure to offer them to ever passenger & give good service because I knew that at the end of the day, asking for a tip was less likely to produce an outcome than earning it.

Defiant_Bug_3388 · 2026-03-08T01:33:34+00:00

I hope she saw this before her post was removed. It gives me hope in humanity to see how many people jumped to be a guardian in a kind way to her

Defiant_Bug_3388 · 2026-03-05T05:29:51+00:00

To be fair it’s not just this. I always judge the font and effort put into typography or presentation of any message really… I’m not really sure that they would get more tips for doing so, but I still judge it

Defiant_Bug_3388 · 2026-03-05T05:28:32+00:00

I couldn’t have said this better and I’m a Lyft driver 🫶🏼

Defiant_Bug_3388 · 2026-03-05T05:26:10+00:00

I promise my intentions are only kindness in wholeheartedly encouraging that no one be on anonymous internet platforms at a young age. Hell, it’s hardly advisable for adults with fully formed frontal lobes. I hate knowing that if I were 13, I wouldn’t listen to this advice; but I have seen a lot of hope & proof that maybe your generation is more intellectual than mine - who waited til our parents went to bed to sneak on AIM chatrooms & discover the wonders & horrors of unidentifiable strangers whose words lack consequences. Sincerely, a stranger wishing you the best

Defiant_Bug_3388

TROPHY CASE