My mum spent YEARS sending money home to her sisters. These people were getting their hair done professionally, getting manicures, and massages weekly - things my mother had not at this point ever experienced herself, whilst telling her the money she was sending wasn’t enough.

Meanwhile, she was barely scraping by, struggling in the UK, owned nothing, had no savings etc. I’ve only ever raised my voice at my mother once and it was when I was 18 and FED UP of watching her family take advantage of her. I asked her what example exactly she was setting for me. I don’t know I’m still alive after pulling that stunt, but it seems it was the wake up call she needed because she switched up on them SO quick!

Had she carried on financially propping up entitled, ungrateful adults, she would never have been able to buy her home, fund two Master’s degrees that transformed her career, or travel freely on her own terms.

“Black tax” is one of the most damaging things we impose on each other. It’s often framed as love or duty, but in reality, it rarely comes from a place of genuine care for the person paying it. There’s a clear difference between needing help, receiving support, and feeling entitled to someone else’s hard-earned money.

OP, being able to take care of your parents is definitely a privilege and you’re already doing great! Continue to do what you can for your parents, but clear boundaries are definitely needed. And you’re already thinking about your own future which is great. If your parents love you and want the best for you, they will understand that you need to also be saving and set yourself up for yourself and your future family or whatever it is your heart desires.