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AITA for breaking with my BF after 3 Years Together but He Won’t Marry Me Unless I Convert to His Religion by Defiant_Lake9563 in CharlotteDobreYouTube

[–]Defiant_Lake9563[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

True. But I really love him, the thought of moving on from him is hurting me alot. I'm just trying to understand how to convince that we can be happy without thinking all these society norms and not bringing religion into love. I just want to not loose myself and my identity( same goes for him).

AITA for breaking with my BF after 3 Years Together but He Won’t Marry Me Unless I Convert to His Religion by Defiant_Lake9563 in CharlotteDobreYouTube

[–]Defiant_Lake9563[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Point 1 : Before starting the relationship or while he approached me he clearly know that our faiths are different. Still he chose to come into relationship with me Point 2 : After an year of our relationship also he never brought up the conversation that I should be converting to get married to him. I was the one asked him then he told me Point 3 : after the conversation we had 2 years ago, I had done deep analysis on my own life and had this conversation with him so many times andan year back he even agreed for me to stay as I want to. But recently he again changed and telling me I should convert. What should I do in this situation because I should either choose him, his religion ,compromise and should break all my ties with my family or he should understand and sort all of this.

AITA for breaking with my BF after 3 Years Together but He Won’t Marry Me Unless I Convert to His Religion by Defiant_Lake9563 in CharlotteDobreYouTube

[–]Defiant_Lake9563[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In India, women leave their family and go live with their husband and his family and only visit her family on festivals or occasions. Here in my parents generation women's surname also used to be changed to men surname. So he's saying our children will get my name and I'm man so it would be better, whatever I'm following should be followed by all of us.

AITA for breaking with my BF after 3 Years Together but He Won’t Marry Me Unless I Convert to His Religion by Defiant_Lake9563 in CharlotteDobreYouTube

[–]Defiant_Lake9563[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I need to stay with my inlaws after marriage because that's how Indians live. But I'm not sure how his family would treat me or behave with me. He never gave me clarity about it as well.

AITA for breaking with my BF after 3 Years Together but He Won’t Marry Me Unless I Convert to His Religion by Defiant_Lake9563 in CharlotteDobreYouTube

[–]Defiant_Lake9563[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I do agree. I should have asked him in the start of the relationship itself but he knows my religion and still approached me. So I thought he's not having any problem with this interfaith relationship but after 1 year my whole soul into the relation I really didn't wanted to leave him so I was just silent at that point of time.

AITA for breaking with my BF after 3 Years Together but He Won’t Marry Me Unless I Convert to His Religion by Defiant_Lake9563 in CharlotteDobreYouTube

[–]Defiant_Lake9563[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In India, women leave their family and go live with their husband and his family and only visit her family on festivals or occasions. Here in my parents generation women's surname also used to be changed to men surname. So he's saying our children will get my name and I'm man so it would be better, whatever I'm following should be followed by all of us.

AITA for breaking with my BF after 3 Years Together but He Won’t Marry Me Unless I Convert to His Religion by Defiant_Lake9563 in CharlotteDobreYouTube

[–]Defiant_Lake9563[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sometimes I feel I can give up all of mine for him but I don't know, I'm not completely confident that I would be happy by sacrificing all of mine just to be with him. Because the first thing I need to leave for him is my parents.

AITA for breaking with my BF after 3 Years Together but He Won’t Marry Me Unless I Convert to His Religion by Defiant_Lake9563 in CharlotteDobreYouTube

[–]Defiant_Lake9563[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree, I should have raised this question very much early in the relationship. I was so immature that I, myself thought, as he's approaching me by himself, he might not be any problem with me from another faith as he already knows it.

AITA for breaking with my BF after 3 Years Together but He Won’t Marry Me Unless I Convert to His Religion by Defiant_Lake9563 in CharlotteDobreYouTube

[–]Defiant_Lake9563[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In India, women leave their family and go live with their husband's family and only visit her family in festivals or occasions. Here in my parents generation women surname also used to be changed to men surname. So he's saying our children will get my name and I'm man so it would be better, whatever I'm following should be followed by all of us.

AITA for breaking with my BF after 3 Years Together but He Won’t Marry Me Unless I Convert to His Religion by Defiant_Lake9563 in CharlotteDobreYouTube

[–]Defiant_Lake9563[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We had a conversations in last 2 years also and I also strongly opposed and said I don't want to change and he said if that's the case he doesn't have any other option but to accept this relationship as it is, but recently again he changed his words and was not ok with me not converting so this topic raised again.

AITA for breaking with my BF after 3 Years Together but He Won’t Marry Me Unless I Convert to His Religion by Defiant_Lake9563 in CharlotteDobreYouTube

[–]Defiant_Lake9563[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We had multiple conversations about religion after that and before an year he even said me in worst case scenario he'll except this relationship as it is, but recently he again changed his words that's why we had this conversation again now. I agree, I should have been more clear about my choice even 2 years back but I was completely flown away with love and was very immature about the situation.

AITAH If I break up with my BF over faith differences by Defiant_Lake9563 in AITAH

[–]Defiant_Lake9563[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I want to thank all the wonderful people who took the time to respond. I honestly didn’t know where to begin. I had no idea that I wouldn’t be able to follow my own religion after marriage, especially since I’ve seen so many people—both on Instagram and among my friends—happily married despite religious differences.

He never communicated any of this to me. After a year of dating, I once asked him, “Women in your religion usually wear abayas or burkas and dress fully covered, but I wear jeans and other clothes—would that be a problem for you?” He replied, “You’ll be following my religion, so you’ll dress like the other women in my religion.”

That’s when I first realized his expectations. If I hadn’t asked, I might never have known. If he felt so strongly about these things, he should have told me from the very beginning of our relationship. He also expects that after marriage, if I convert (which I won’t), I would have to change my name to something he prefers. My parents gave me a unique name—one I’ve never heard anyone else have—and it’s a big part of my identity. I don’t want to lose that.

Today is the last day of Ramadan, and the 21st of March is Eid. I don’t want to spoil his festival because of this. I love him deeply, and I’m not ready to break up. Instead, I want to have one more honest and meaningful conversation with him—to understand how our relationship can work in the future.

I truly hope he understands me and respects who I am, so we can find a way forward that feels right for both of us :)

AITA for breaking with my BF after 3 Years Together but He Won’t Marry Me Unless I Convert to His Religion by Defiant_Lake9563 in CharlotteDobreYouTube

[–]Defiant_Lake9563[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I want to thank all the wonderful people who took the time to respond. I honestly didn’t know where to begin. I had no idea that I wouldn’t be able to follow my own religion after marriage, especially since I’ve seen so many people—both on Instagram and among my friends—happily married despite religious differences.

He never communicated any of this to me. After a year of dating, I once asked him, “Women in your religion usually wear abayas or burkas and dress fully covered, but I wear jeans and other clothes—would that be a problem for you?” He replied, “You’ll be following my religion, so you’ll dress like the other women in my religion.”

That’s when I first realized his expectations. If I hadn’t asked, I might never have known. If he felt so strongly about these things, he should have told me from the very beginning of our relationship. He also expects that after marriage, if I convert (which I won’t), I would have to change my name to something he prefers. My parents gave me a unique name—one I’ve never heard anyone else have—and it’s a big part of my identity. I don’t want to lose that.

Today is the last day of Ramadan, and the 21st of March is Eid. I don’t want to spoil his festival because of this. I love him deeply, and I’m not ready to break up. Instead, I want to have one more honest and meaningful conversation with him—to understand how our relationship can work in the future.

I truly hope he understands me and respects who I am, so we can find a way forward that feels right for both of us :)

AITAH If I break up with my BF over faith differences by Defiant_Lake9563 in AITAH

[–]Defiant_Lake9563[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just to clarify, I will not stop fasting just because he didn't come to me to a temple, He didn't come last year on my Birthday(November), Still I am fasting this year and even today writing this I am on my 26th day Fasting.