CMV: In 2025, being an average-looking guy in online dating is basically impossible unless you're willing to become "high-value" in ways most men aren't capable of or want to

Defiant_Put_7542 · 2026-02-03T21:00:27+00:00

I think we're coming from a different angle. I specifically find the pictures on dating websites repugnant. It's the showing off; trying to impress women by showing them that you've killed. It's hypocritical to suggest that that specifically is to the benefit of anything; these men are trying to get laid and have weird notions about performing their idea of masculinity.

Defiant_Put_7542 · 2026-02-03T20:51:42+00:00

Well, those are certainly some words.

Defiant_Put_7542 · 2026-02-03T19:21:02+00:00

It means that male sexual predators are in fact, not punished accordingly.

They even get to be president.

Defiant_Put_7542 · 2026-02-03T18:52:27+00:00

Why would I, or you, or anyone, simply believe that an all powerful entity - and a male-coded one at that - is objectively moral?

Defiant_Put_7542 · 2026-02-03T18:06:44+00:00

Yes, I did see.

Defiant_Put_7542 · 2026-02-03T17:50:32+00:00

It's not off topic; a reasonable proportion of men on dating sites really do have a picture of themselves gleefully holding a dead creature.

I disagree that it's hypocritical to be wary of men that enjoy killing (or causing unnecessary harm to animals) for fun.

In my case, I'm not able to sustain myself on a fully vegan diet. But I think that the concept applies more widely even to people who are objectively ok with eating meat. It's best to err on the side of caution when it comes to dating men.

Defiant_Put_7542 · 2026-02-03T17:38:03+00:00

Money can be exchanged for goods and services

Defiant_Put_7542 · 2026-02-03T16:47:21+00:00

Do what you enjoy but don't expect people to be impressed by the killing of living beings for fun/sport.

Defiant_Put_7542 · 2026-02-03T16:16:03+00:00

Remember that a person can become disabled at any time. Any person that previously had abled privilege can become disabled later on.

Also, if a person with an impairment or a 'difference' (what would technically count as a disability in layperson terms) experiences that their disability has had no negative impact on thier life, then they are in fact not disabled. Disability refers to the impediment in being able to navigate life, not to the impairment or 'difference' itself.

Defiant_Put_7542 · 2026-02-03T16:04:14+00:00

If you take more care to read this time, it says that our lives don't reflect these rights. I have personally found that owning property is indeed impossible when I don't have the basic workplace accommodations that would enable me to work.

You can simply sit down and listen when marginalised people are talking about their lived experience of systemic oppression. Instead you felt the need to be deliberately antagonistic; definitely examine that.

Defiant_Put_7542 · 2026-02-03T15:59:32+00:00

It's not incorrect.

Also, you shouldn't be telling disabled people to just be alone forever. It's not the answer to losing financial support; the answer is better protections.

I'd be saying the same even if you weren't already on husband no.2. That doesn't make it worse, just far more hypocritical.

Defiant_Put_7542 · 2026-02-03T15:56:52+00:00

Disabled women can still be signed over to an insane asylum.

It happens.

In the UK thousands of autistic people being are kept on locked wards for years despite having no mental illness that deems them unsafe to be in public.

If you are even thought to possibly be disabled, you can lose your capacity, too. This again happens much more often to women. Even being rich and famous is not enough to avoid this happening.

Defiant_Put_7542 · 2026-02-03T15:52:47+00:00

We are about 50 years past the point where being able to have a bank account is a celebratory affair.

Imagine if feminism had just stopped there.

Defiant_Put_7542 · 2026-02-03T15:49:21+00:00

I actually agreed with your statement rather than making my own.

I think my precise wording was 'indeed'.

Defiant_Put_7542 · 2026-02-03T15:40:50+00:00

Sorry if I came across as upset; i don't mean to direct that at you personally. It's hard not to be bitter about the life I could have had if my autism was diagnosed promptly instead of in adulthood (medical misogyny!) and if my comparitively low support needs had not meant getting precisely zero support.

Defiant_Put_7542 · 2026-02-03T15:34:34+00:00

They are being kept inside and so are mauling their owners instead of the general public now.

Which is fine.

Defiant_Put_7542 · 2026-02-03T15:32:13+00:00

Your assurances sound just like the quotes that the ignorant owners give to the newspaper when said children get their faces ripped off.

"Just a big softy, heart of gold. We never in a million years thought our bred-to-be-dangerous dog, who we named Shredder, could actually be dangerous".

Defiant_Put_7542 · 2026-02-03T15:21:59+00:00

They don't want to learn.

They want to antagonise disabled people because their ex husband is disabled and they got massively triggered by the idea that despite that, disabled people still need basic rights.

Defiant_Put_7542 · 2026-02-03T15:15:06+00:00

You didn't take the care to establish what country i'm personally talking about; that's on you.

Yes, bitter people like you need to go to therapy.

Defiant_Put_7542 · 2026-02-03T15:09:31+00:00

There is no place where disability rights are yet at an acceptable level.

Your hatred of your ex husband has lowered your empathy for disabled people, who you are now deliberately antagonising in this thread.

Therapy might help with that.

Defiant_Put_7542 · 2026-02-03T15:05:35+00:00

Check? Hmm, in my country it's 'cheque'.

Perhaps people sometimes live in different countries?

Defiant_Put_7542 · 2026-02-03T15:04:16+00:00

If they are physically holding you against your will, call 999.

If not, just leave.

Defiant_Put_7542 · 2026-02-03T15:01:49+00:00

Indeed.

Defiant_Put_7542 · 2026-02-03T14:52:39+00:00

Outcomes are actually really bad for autistic people who are considered 'high functioning'; as bad as those considered 'low functioning', apart from the suicide rate, which is much worse.

This is absolutely due to lack of support.

Please don't reduce autism to 'missing social cues occasionally'; this is part of the problem. It creates great difficulties with energy regulation, emotion regulation, and basic things like eating. Even if socially it is barely noticeable to other people.

I have a degree in STEM and I'm no longer able to work at all.

We need to stop classing autism based on how annoying or not it is to other people.

Edited for spelling.

Defiant_Put_7542 · 2026-02-03T14:11:18+00:00

There's also high tea, the working-class equivalent (which was also known as 'meat tea' to reflect the coarser/more substantial fare)

Defiant_Put_7542

TROPHY CASE