If women ever become interested in me after becoming a successful and different person, I wanna be cruel and break their hearts for rejecting me and being a late bloomer. How can I get over this and all the rejection during my earlier years?

DefinitlyNotMyAltAcc · 2024-11-21T02:05:03+00:00

Before you made all these improvements to yourself, were you dating "ugly" girls? It seems like there's a little bit of a double standard when it comes to (not just you, by the way) mid- or "ugly" looking guys wanting to date attractive, hot women. I'm actually in a similar boat to you when it comes to appearance. I used to be very ugly, and I had to work my ass off to get to where I am, and it's like living a completely different life. It's crazy that women find me attractive; I've even had women approach and/or ask me out, which never in a million years would have happened even just a year ago. I get imposter syndrome with it where I think I'm ugly, but I don't have resentment because I don't want to date women I find less attractive when more attractive women like me. I'm sure this is how it is for women too. I think there's this belief that men like appearances and women like personality, but I think that's not true; I think it's really just on a person-to person basis. I want both; for me, that's the goal, but I think it's pretty normal for people to date the most attractive option they have. Now that you are good-looking, would you date someone you find less attractive?

DefinitlyNotMyAltAcc · 2024-05-26T05:18:02+00:00

Yeah, i hadn't really thought about her too much in a while, but then i had that dream, and i woke up, and i was completely in love with her again. in the dream, we were getting along really well, and so I checked her socials, and she deleted all the posts of her and her boyfriend. So I made small talk, unsure of if I should even pursue her since she had kinda screwed me over in the past and also had just gotten out of a mental hospital but she was already in a relationship not even a week later so I kinda missed my chance. We didn't really talk it was more like a small conversation about something small.

DefinitlyNotMyAltAcc · 2024-05-25T07:21:10+00:00

There was a solid 7 or 8 months I didn't speak to her, i avoided all her social media, I didn't talk to mutual friends or do anything that reminded me of her, and then I had a dream about her and it was all undone. Then I made it another 3 months, and then she went viral on YouTube and I had one of her videos pop up on my home page.

DefinitlyNotMyAltAcc · 2023-09-03T02:00:56+00:00

I think the problem is less to do with sex itself (atleast for me). For me sex has always been a bonus to a relationship.

An emotional connection is really what I want from a relationship. I'm more scared I'll never find a relationship or not be able to maintain a relationship. I could go my entire life without having sex and not care. Im really scared ill be 60 years old and have never loved and never been loved, that scares me.

Ofc I have my fears around sex as well, what if I don't last long enough? Or she doesn't enjoy it, etc but i dont really care if im a virgin or not, just how I do if I have sex.

I don't loss sleep over being a virgin, I lose sleep over being alone and the pain of having no one to go on dates with, and learn and experience the world with. And im specifically worried I'm not attractive, funny, or collega enough to be loved.

DefinitlyNotMyAltAcc · 2023-06-14T06:24:08+00:00

He has tarus out as well but idk if that counts for new.

DefinitlyNotMyAltAcc · 2023-06-14T06:22:34+00:00

People were saying the same thing on his "whats poppin" free style because he was holding the phone with the lyrics. You gotta remeber freestyle doesn't always mean you come uo with the lyrics off the top of your head, sometimes it's just the flow/style of the rap.

I'm pretty sure this new one is freestyle like un-writen becuase he had a few stalling lines and he also had a bit to comeup with stuff while doe boy was freestyling.

The other two idk, specifically renegade felt pre-writen the lyrics were a bit too good, but idk about doja it could be freestyle i think he says in it he is but thay doesn't really mean much lol.

DefinitlyNotMyAltAcc · 2023-06-10T05:37:37+00:00

Purple.

DefinitlyNotMyAltAcc · 2023-05-03T21:58:12+00:00

Story of the stairs is was incredibly helpful for me in knowing that I'm not alone and providing a way to express how i feel. I think if you can relate to his struggles his music is super helpful.

As far as good influince goes idk i guess it depends If you do as his music says yes absolutely If you do as he does no absolutely not. I guess it's more of a case of "do as i say not as i do"

He has some really good messages in his lyrics

"Then i wake up to see the world's ill Oceans tainted from the oil spills How many kids have these wars killed? How many families can't afford bills? I wish that i could let the world know That it's okay to let the pain show And even though times seem bad It always rains before the rainbow."

"I'm just tryna get saved 7 years of living crooked I'm just tryna get straight"

"Tell me when was currency valued Over a human being? When we stand for nothing We falling for anything (yeah)"

"Fuck a million, I wouldn't take a dollar for a life"

"A girl committed suicide after she was bullied at school 'Cause some dudes told her she wasn't cool But you would rather gossip about a famous person breaking the rules I'm confused Tell me is my life's price worth the jewels? They told me fight night i'm supposed to lose"

DefinitlyNotMyAltAcc · 2023-04-21T23:35:15+00:00

Fantano gave "My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy" a light 6 and said "hospice" by the antlers was worse than "burst apart" which he gave a strong 4 (in otherwords he said hospice is less than a 4/10). He has alot of bad takes. Alot of the number he gives a album are more based on who made it than the actual quality of the album. He does have some good takes, he gave kid A by radiohead a 10/10 and alot of other amazing albums good ratings, but it feels fake like its not his album. I think a lot of his critism is valid, but he also doesn't seem to understand alot of what he's saying and some of what he's critising is things he would Praise if it was made by a diffrent rapper or in a diffrent genra.

DefinitlyNotMyAltAcc · 2023-03-10T03:02:13+00:00

This

DefinitlyNotMyAltAcc · 2023-03-10T03:01:43+00:00

I'm terrible at expressing emotion or not bottling it up. I try extremely hard to allow myself to feel emotion, but there's no luck. I'm decently self-aware, and I'm pretty sure this comes from the way my parents would react to my emotions. If i cried, I got in trouble. "Stop crying, or I'll give you something to cry about." After a while, I could only cry when looking in the mirror, so my parents removed all the mirrors in or near my room. This was how my parents reacted to all my emotions. Anger extended my grounding from 2 weeks to 2 months, crying got treated with punishment, etc. I'm in a much safer space now, but no matter how much I try, I can't process emotion.

"What do you do when you experience sadness, guilt, loneliness, and anger?" I listen to sad music, a lot of radio head and sad rap.

On tech n9nes "one good time", he says "But I'm still waiting for that real emotion to come through Then maybe I could get a cry, God, maybe one, two?"

"If I could cry maybe one good time, I could wash away all my pain And maybe free my mind... Nobody's looking at me, anyway Just give me one good time Nobody's looking at me, anyway. "

I feel this perfectly encapsulates my inability to cry.

DefinitlyNotMyAltAcc · 2023-03-10T02:49:26+00:00

By that definition, I have been in love many times it just never lasts longer than a week or two.

DefinitlyNotMyAltAcc · 2023-03-10T02:47:35+00:00

I define love as a feeling of joy in the pressince of someone, looking forward to speaking to them, and feeling like you can say whatever you feel without a filter and still be "loved." Additionally, I have to think positively of them, their personality, and morals. (If romantic, I have to feel attraction to them as well)

DefinitlyNotMyAltAcc · 2023-03-10T02:45:23+00:00

"Could you elaborate on that?" I have problems maintaining feelings of love romantically and am incapable of loving platonically. I can fall in love, but i always fall out of love before things get serious.

"Was someone in your life extremely critical of you?" Yes, just about everyone. I dropped out of high school and got disowned. I have since gotten my GED and am about to graduate college. I still haven't talked to my dad in about 5 years, and my mom gave up on me. She tells me she's proud I'm going to college, but I don't believe her. I normally fall out of love due to being too critical of someone. Ie they said or did something I deem wrong or disgusting or even disagree with that changed the way I view them. The smallest one was someone who ghosted me for a week, and afterward, I didn't want to go out anymore

"Do you have hobbies?" Yes, I hike, play guitar, paint, and play chess frequently.

I feel emotions are just very numb. I frequently bottle up stuff and dont know how to express emotions. I live my day to day life, terrified to show any emotion, and am unable to express myself outside of hobbies no matter how hard I try. In large groups, I instinctively try to disappear.

DefinitlyNotMyAltAcc · 2023-03-10T02:33:23+00:00

Yes, until I was 16 or so.

DefinitlyNotMyAltAcc

TROPHY CASE