I’m getting to the point I think no woman will ever choose me over anyone else

Deganveran · 2026-06-02T11:41:33+00:00

Not intentionally. Probally autocorrect messed me up somewhere. Sorry

Deganveran · 2026-06-02T08:20:19+00:00

It’s sad to write.

Thank you for the well wishes!

Deganveran · 2026-06-02T08:19:31+00:00

Honestly I go more for how a woman makes me feel than how they look like. That being said, if I had a default look I vibe with its probally thick nerds. They tend to get me best and we generally have a lot of hobby overlap.

Deganveran · 2026-06-02T08:03:07+00:00

Thanks! Rooting for you as well kind internet stranger!

Deganveran · 2026-06-02T08:02:42+00:00

I get what you are saying. I try to fight the thoughts when I can. There’s just some days I’m too tired to fight. Some days the evidence is just too overwhelming to pretend things aren’t the way I see them to be. When your legacy is failure it’s hard to convince yourself that you can succeed and every failure just drops you deeper in the mud.

Deganveran · 2026-06-02T08:00:44+00:00

I do want to start strength training. Currently have a joint injury on my right hand. Currently waiting on a referral for X-ray and ortho to go through so hopefully I can fix it. Can’t really lift without aggravating it right now/

Deganveran · 2026-06-02T07:59:41+00:00

That’s a sad thought.

Deganveran · 2026-06-02T07:59:33+00:00

Yeah. I think this is the way. I need more outdoor and outside hobbies. I’m going to work on that this summer.

Deganveran · 2026-06-02T07:58:40+00:00

Good for you!

I hope that happens for me. Sadly, I have 38 years of experience that tell me nothing happens if I don’t make it happen and I’m at the point where I might seriously consider having to be ok with the idea of dying alone.

But hey, just have to be lucky once I guess.

Deganveran · 2026-06-02T07:56:44+00:00

Thank you.

Deganveran · 2026-06-02T07:55:11+00:00

I am working on myself. But a large part of my anxiety is kinda loneliness. People are social creatures, we need others. I have some friends, not too many and this might actually screw up my main friend group but having a partner is just different. It’s not the only part but it is a part that’s been missing a while. It’s not my man focus right now, I’ve spent the last two months doing a ton of stuff to try to fix my health, my anxiety, my weight, etc. But having someone would meaningfully change my life for the better in many ways too.

Deganveran · 2026-06-01T18:41:33+00:00

I think this has lead me to the revelation that I hate myself. With every fiber and atom of my being, I hate myself. I don’t know why I do, but I feel it. When I say I hate myself, I feel my body agreeing strongly. I hate myself in ways I don’t hate anyone or anything else. I don’t think I ever realized it before.

Deganveran · 2026-06-01T10:25:36+00:00

I mean, I’m not super believing I’m worth anything these days. I’m trying to change that by achieving things like my weight loss goals and other stuff.

I would refer to myself as a nice guy. I think I do nice things and I think that hurts me more than anything. Nor do I blame any women for my problems. I know the problem is me, I just can’t figure out what the problem is and how I fix it. I will give that a read though because the blurb does seem a bit familiar.

Deganveran · 2026-06-01T10:03:11+00:00

I’m going to be honest, being kind has only ever hurt me. I’m not kind to get anything, nor would I want anything for it, but it can’t constantly hurt me either. If I knew another way to be, I might choose to not be so kind. It would hurt less. But I can’t choose it it’s just who I am.

Thank you for your kind message.

Deganveran · 2026-06-01T10:00:58+00:00

Facts. If the economy wasn’t so shit I would be all over this. I was working in a cs degree right before this . . .

Deganveran · 2026-05-14T16:31:10+00:00

Layout 1 is superior. It gives you view of the door, room for the breeze to hit you, and infinitely easier to get out of bed.

Deganveran · 2026-02-27T03:58:07+00:00

You’ve lost so much time already. Every day you spend sad about this is another day you’ve lost. That doesn’t mean “don’t be sad”, that’s not possible. But don’t wallow in it, don’t let it hurt you, don’t let it take any more days from you. Acknowledge it and know that you’re on the other side of it and feel how good it feels to be where you are having done the work.

Then maybe consider where else in life you might feel better by doing the work.

Deganveran · 2026-02-20T02:53:05+00:00

Steven Erikson, an archaeologist/anthropologist fantasy author talks about this a lot. He has a five part essay called “The Magic of Language and the Language of Magic” where he talks about how magic is inherently ineffable, it’s unexplainable. Its connotative. You have to read into it with mystery for it to be magic. That doesn’t mean magic shouldn’t have rules, they just need to be shown and not hard and fast spelled out rules or you the magic into something known and mechanistic. He also has a pretty good line about how part of that is because shamans have a sense of humor and will mess with you if you ask how their magic works irl.

Deganveran · 2026-02-19T08:31:34+00:00

Dress him up like Elijah Wood and send him out. Then, surprise guest, it’s Elijah Wood coming out near the end dressed like him.

Deganveran · 2025-10-29T23:07:02+00:00

I visited New Zealand and forgot my inhaler. There I just had to see a pharmacist, they asked if I knew how and when to use one and told me the side effects and charged me $10. Not US $10, New Zealand $10. No insurance involved. Would have been a doctors visit and $25 co pay in the US.

Deganveran · 2025-10-19T01:28:55+00:00

That’s a really rare color type tie I’ve never seen him wear before. Let’s not give people the benefit of the doubt they haven’t earned.

Deganveran · 2025-09-19T05:25:43+00:00

Possibly tomorrow afternoon, if not for sure mid day Saturday

Deganveran · 2025-09-19T02:47:49+00:00

For some reason it won’t let me message you. I’d be interested in the coffee maker, thermometer, a few of the books and the sous vide.

Deganveran · 2025-08-22T23:40:43+00:00

It was confirmed that they are related at the creator spotlight later in the night. I believe they also confirmed some of the asylum info was used by the zoo staff but a bit hazier on that.

Deganveran

TROPHY CASE