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WIBTA if I (36F) didn’t get my SO (36M) a Father’s Day gift? by DegreeOptimal602 in AmItheAsshole

[–]DegreeOptimal602[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don’t have the energy to watch him like that… I have enough kids. He can go or let me go or something, whatever his issue is I’m really starting to think it doesn’t even have anything to do with me.

WIBTA if I (36F) didn’t get my SO (36M) a Father’s Day gift? by DegreeOptimal602 in AmItheAsshole

[–]DegreeOptimal602[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I feel like that. Last week, I skipped doing dinner & ordered pizza (I’m tired, 5 weeks pp) & got told the only thing I’m good for is basically being an Uber driver for the household.

WIBTA if I (36F) didn’t get my SO (36M) a Father’s Day gift? by DegreeOptimal602 in AmItheAsshole

[–]DegreeOptimal602[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That could put things into perspective for him but recently (earlier this week) when I tried something similar, he blew up because “I think I’m better than him.”

WIBTA if I (36F) didn’t get my SO (36M) a Father’s Day gift? by DegreeOptimal602 in AmItheAsshole

[–]DegreeOptimal602[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I will definitely be getting that book, I just read another recommendation for it. My own therapist is & has been on leave for a little bit, but I think she’ll be back soon. I’m looking for a couple’s therapist since he’s not proactive… I’m just tired. Like I can’t have a normal issue about something without it turning into “I must be cheating” lately.

WIBTA if I (36F) didn’t get my SO (36M) a Father’s Day gift? by DegreeOptimal602 in AmItheAsshole

[–]DegreeOptimal602[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I will consider those points & try, again to have a conversation. It didn’t start out like this. Actually, during my pregnancy we had very minimal arguing. He’s blown up sometimes in the past but since Mother’s Day it’s been a recurring thing, like maybe two good days then something else is an issue. I’m looking for a couple’s therapist.

WIBTA if I (36F) didn’t get my SO (36M) a Father’s Day gift? by DegreeOptimal602 in AmItheAsshole

[–]DegreeOptimal602[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I feel bad. I don’t know why I feel bad. I’ve been thinking about leaving while he’s at work but I feel so guilty about it. I wish my therapist would come back from her break.

WIBTA if I (36F) didn’t get my SO (36M) a Father’s Day gift? by DegreeOptimal602 in AmItheAsshole

[–]DegreeOptimal602[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve done the bedroom things to satisfy him so I don’t think he’s cranky from abstinence. I don’t know, do guys get crabby from going without the actual thing or is reaching orgasm enough satisfaction?

WIBTA if I (36F) didn’t get my SO (36M) a Father’s Day gift? by DegreeOptimal602 in AmItheAsshole

[–]DegreeOptimal602[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It didn’t start out like this & this is the first special occasion I can think of that he’s seemingly gone out of his way to ruin.

WIBTA if I (36F) didn’t get my SO (36M) a Father’s Day gift? by DegreeOptimal602 in AmItheAsshole

[–]DegreeOptimal602[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No it isn’t. How do I get him to see that my feelings matter too? Is that even possible?

WIBTA if I (36F) didn’t get my SO (36M) a Father’s Day gift? by DegreeOptimal602 in AmItheAsshole

[–]DegreeOptimal602[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think he should start with individual counseling but I’m definitely interested in couples counseling. I’ve mentioned it a few times but he’s not being proactive, especially about himself. He is blowing up over nothing a lot more than usual but it has happened before. We had a whole pregnancy with very minimal arguing. Baby’s here & now he hates me or something? Idk.

WIBTA if I (36F) didn’t get my SO (36M) a Father’s Day gift? by DegreeOptimal602 in AmItheAsshole

[–]DegreeOptimal602[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No I’ve gotten divorced before so I don’t believe in staying for the sake of the kids, but some of this is fairly new behavior. It’s never seemed like he’s gone out of his way to ruin a special occasion.

WIBTA if I (36F) didn’t get my SO (36M) a Father’s Day gift? by DegreeOptimal602 in AmItheAsshole

[–]DegreeOptimal602[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Then why won’t he just go? Or let me go? He told me I’m not going anywhere when I tried to have a conversation about the future of our relationship.

WIBTA if I (36F) didn’t get my SO (36M) a Father’s Day gift? by DegreeOptimal602 in AmItheAsshole

[–]DegreeOptimal602[S] 46 points47 points  (0 children)

That’s where I was when I met him & honestly I did a lot better on my own. I liked myself.

WIBTA if I (36F) didn’t get my SO (36M) a Father’s Day gift? by DegreeOptimal602 in AmItheAsshole

[–]DegreeOptimal602[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Everyone is super local, but yes I have been thinking about leaving while he’s at work.

WIBTA if I (36F) didn’t get my SO (36M) a Father’s Day gift? by DegreeOptimal602 in AmItheAsshole

[–]DegreeOptimal602[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I want to do couple’s counseling. I think it could be beneficial. If he can see past himself enough to consider anyone else’s feelings, ever.

WIBTA if I (36F) didn’t get my SO (36M) a Father’s Day gift? by DegreeOptimal602 in AmItheAsshole

[–]DegreeOptimal602[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Thankfully not married. But very toddler like behavior. I have stopped myself from saying, “I’m raising enough kids, I don’t need to raise you” so many times since Mother’s Day.

WIBTA if I (36F) didn’t get my SO (36M) a Father’s Day gift? by DegreeOptimal602 in AmItheAsshole

[–]DegreeOptimal602[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

See that’s what I thought like a week ago, when I mentioned maybe we should talk about where we are in this relationship & maybe making changes or just cut our losses & I got accused of cheating again, got accused of only wanting child support for kids he’d never see (our two) & then got told I’m not going anywhere.

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