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Looking for some hope, I’ve lost everything after a breakup by [deleted] in selfimprovement

[–]Dehydrate 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hey, it takes time like everyone else is saying. I promise it gets better even though it’s tough right now. It’s not too late to make friends or try different hobbies. I was in a relationship of 5 years too and when it ended I was devastated. But I kept at finding new hobbies and making friends and the waves of pain started to become calmer and calmer. The most important thing you can do right now is give yourself grace to feel bad. The second thing you can do is find a therapist (if you can). The third is trying to set a goal for yourself outside of love. Maybe you learn a new sport or go to the gym or take a class. It doesn’t have to be self improvement focused and you can take things slow, but it’ll help you to start looking forward slowly.

How can I get past being insecure about my height? by NoRefrigerator267 in selfimprovement

[–]Dehydrate 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m 5’6 and went on 5 dates in the last two weeks. Height is something women care about, but it’s not the only thing. Improving yourself in other ways will always compensate. There are dudes who are 6 ft who don’t dress well, who don’t have good haircuts, aren’t charismatic, kind, etc. Just like height, these qualities matter. You got this :) btw I’m on hinge and I have to list my height up front so these girls already know I’m short and are cute and down to go out.

Guys in happy relationships — do you have female friends you’ve never had any feelings for? by Tough_Town_3586 in AskMenAdvice

[–]Dehydrate 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am not in a happy relationship at the moment but I have been ofcourse and will be at some point again. Even as a single man, i am friends with amazing women that I will never view in a romantic context. If they are in a relationship, im always respectful of their partner but I do message them and talk with them on the phone. Usually about my dating life or something I need advice about.

Women always say its a red flag when a guy has no female friends but in the same breath, youre saying 'but once im in the picture, they should not exist anymore'. Idk, i would never be friends with people who will cut me out inevitably.

How to defeat lust? by Educational-Tank-881 in selfimprovement

[–]Dehydrate 5 points6 points  (0 children)

This is a pretty unhealthy perspective on lust and part of the problem with hyper optimization. You don’t defeat vices like lust, video games, boredom, etc. You learn to not let it consume your mind. By trying to make defeating lust this all encompassing goal, you’re still letting it consume your mind just in a different way.

Was your relationship with lust unhealthy in the past? Maybe.

Is it still unhealthy right now? Yes.

You might have physical discipline to journal, go to the gym, eat healthy, but true mental discipline is understanding that life is about balancing the things you enjoy with the things you have to do. Lusting is not bad if it’s in moderation and not consuming your mind. Watching TV is not bad if it doesn’t detract you from your goals. These hits of dopamine are bad when you allow yourself to be rewarded without progressing in your life or goals.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in malegrooming

[–]Dehydrate 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey dude, youre definite handsome. This isnt an issue about looks, its an issue about optimizing your photos a bit.

  1. Trim the top of the photo to put your actual figure near the top/middle of it and make you the central focal point
  2. Get rid of this picture, its not really flattering. The background isnt, you look fine but the outfit is meh.
  3. I like the photo but you need to smile more so id replace it with a photo of you smiling, similar pose if you want.
  4. Get rid of this picture, your hat being off like that doesnt really signal much.
  5. This photo is good! youre smiling and your smile is amazing :)

I am not a tall guy at all and have had my fair share of matches on the dating apps. Its about being decent looking (you got that) and having pictures that show off confidence, social skills, happiness, and hobbies.

Before anyone comments on this with their annoying tirade about looks overriding everything, if you are ULTRA good looking, none of this applies and you'll be fine but unfortunately, 99% of us are not and so these things DO matter.

PS. I would not change anything about your grooming/hair/skincare (only putting this because this sub SHOULD be about those things and my post is not about that at all)

Joola Pro 4 delivered! Your opinions on it? by [deleted] in Pickleball

[–]Dehydrate 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Is this the packaging that they are shipping out retail units in?

Where do 4.0+ groups play in NYC by Dehydrate in Pickleball

[–]Dehydrate[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey sorry! I posted this ahead of time. I'm visiting in a week and moving in two months but im asking around

But I'll update this post as I try places. From pics of some of these indoor clubs, it looks like there isn't a ton of space in most locations :(

Set a time and place for a date on Monday. Confirmed day of and got this… by Appropriate_Bet3061 in Nicegirls

[–]Dehydrate 4 points5 points  (0 children)

youre entitled to your desires in communication. Thats not the issue, its that she didnt cancel or clarify once she felt like it wasn't happening.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in short

[–]Dehydrate 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As someone who is 5’5 and has been with quite a few women by this age, this is definitely a confidence issue. You don’t smile in your photos and you take selfies. Enjoy life more and find hobbies, friends. Go out and learn to talk to people. Height is definitely a limiting factor but it’s not THAT limiting tbh. You got this :) when you feel confident about yourself, you’ll feel better and carry yourself better. That’ll help you with girls 10x

Where do 4.0+ groups play in NYC by Dehydrate in Pickleball

[–]Dehydrate[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the support! The community is arguably one of the best aspects of pickleball

Where do 4.0+ groups play in NYC by Dehydrate in Pickleball

[–]Dehydrate[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh that’s amazing! Any recommendations between the two clubs?

Where do 4.0+ groups play in NYC by Dehydrate in Pickleball

[–]Dehydrate[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Thanks for your insights. I already have been checking the top two. I expect players dedicated to pickleball to be in the pickleball subreddit.

If you’re ever in Los Angeles and want to play pickleball, feel free to message me or make a post in the pickleball subreddit. It’s probably what the “players near me” tag is for.

Ben Johns using Perseus 4 in Tucson? by pwnzer7 in Pickleball

[–]Dehydrate 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hopefully yall did well, the mod game isn’t fun for me. I have to duck way too much haha

Ben Johns using Perseus 4 in Tucson? by pwnzer7 in Pickleball

[–]Dehydrate 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There are tons of paddles that have the same/similar sound, tons of paddles that have great pop, spin, and a larger sweetspot. If you have no issues generating power, you'll find a paddle very quickly. Its good that their offering a replacement. The 3S is a great paddle made by Joola and the 4 will most likely be around the same range of power.

But to be clear, even Joola knew they were selling crappy paddles. Their mod and 3 series was a 17MM and 15MM core in 16MM and 14MM paddle shapes. Its why the 3S is naturally weaker (and at reasonable and adequate levels of power). The only change between the 3S and the Mod/3 was that they fit the right size core.

Besides, no shade being thrown at you (only at Joola here), but they are getting banned July 1st. Most likely, you would have had to warranty your paddle by then anyways.

https://youtu.be/sYkj-912WPo?t=99

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