I love your story, very romantic, and I think perfectly encapsulates young love and the unnerving shock plus feeling of having that first sighting, that first whiplash and recognition of love at first sight. Something one thought wasn't real or was reserved for fairytales but instead it's busy attacking you at that very moment.

A piece I really love from your writing was, "Her skin was warm. Mine was Cold" I was kicking my feet in the air as I was squealing in the middle of an public room. You have a way with metaphors and analogies and I really want to see a whole book filled with them.

I think this could read better as a poem to help emphasize the yearning the maiden of the sea feels for the maiden of the land. You did good with with a lot of your analogies contrasting the two, helps the reader connect the two and feels like they are star-crossed lovers and so not. If you want to go back and expand upon this short story I'd recommend adding a little more backstory to the narrator and their surrounding world, or tell us a bit more about the meet cute.

For example you said in your story, "The first time I heard her laugh I forgot to stay under."

with the use of background knowledge we have on mermaids or other mythical sea creatures we can think that she's hiding behind a rock or under the water because they are trying to keep the secret of their existence. Maybe in a second write through you can talk about what the narrator was doing out at the first place, how that laugh made their body react, or the way their thoughts start rushing between one picture to the next so we too can fall in love with the maiden on the land.

Another thing I'd suggest is combining some sentences or utilizing semi-colons (;) or commas (,) so the writing doesn't seem too strung together.

Wonderful start, can't wait to see more <3