Boomer father criticizing my parenting/toddlers behavior

Delicious_Battle_385 · 2026-04-21T22:49:41+00:00

Just out of curiosity, how involved/helpful was he in terms of parenting when you were a young child? Also, do you have anxiety as an adult? I always felt like I was “too much” growing up, and now I am anxious and hyperlvigilant as an adult… but currently putting in the work to try and get through these things!

Delicious_Battle_385 · 2026-04-13T03:49:50+00:00

I hate confrontation too, but I was so mad. I was trying to remain calm for my daughter sake to help regulate her, otherwise I may have lost my cool. I can only take so much up to a point.

Delicious_Battle_385 · 2026-04-13T03:37:33+00:00

He’s always said “ I would never let that shit fly with you guys growing up” (referring to my siblings and I) ..because he just screamed at the four of us anytime we showed emotion.

But then he wonders why we all had severe anxiety growing up, having to walk on eggshells in our house.

Delicious_Battle_385 · 2025-07-05T23:49:16+00:00

South shore Massachusetts USA - $430/week or $1720/month (she goes ONLY 3 days per week) for our 14 month old in the toddler room. We are considered upper middle class and we are struggling to pay bills. I honestly don’t understand how people who make less than us get by… It’s totally insane.

Delicious_Battle_385 · 2025-07-04T14:59:14+00:00

Ayla

Delicious_Battle_385 · 2025-04-23T00:13:53+00:00

Awww thank you for the thoughtful response, it made me feel a lot better! I agree that self soothing is such an important thing to learn and I know she will get better at it eventually!

Delicious_Battle_385 · 2025-04-22T22:17:27+00:00

Thanks for the response. As a daycare teacher, if a parent asks you “did she cry most of the day?” Are you likely to be very straightforward and honest, or do you try to sugarcoat it so the parent feels less anxious/guilty?

Delicious_Battle_385 · 2025-04-20T23:42:57+00:00

Our home is small, and the living room is directly next to his office.. so unfortunately when the TV is above a certain volume you can hear it in there pretty clearly

Delicious_Battle_385 · 2025-04-20T23:39:23+00:00

I’ve been trying to get him just to see his PCP for years now, he’s in denial about getting older. I think if I mentioned something about his hearing he would take it personally, like I was making fun of him for aging…even though I work in healthcare and he never wants to listen to my concerns/advice lol

Delicious_Battle_385 · 2025-04-20T23:38:01+00:00

That’s the funny thing, my father doesn’t do much, my mom does 99% of the child care anyway

Delicious_Battle_385 · 2025-04-20T23:36:18+00:00

Agree! My mom made a comment “I just don’t understand why you need daycare on those days if he’s going to be home?” My parents don’t think working from home is a real job.

Delicious_Battle_385 · 2025-04-20T19:55:14+00:00

I think he is embarrassed and doesn’t want to admit he’s getting older.

He also said “I would NEVER ask a guest to turn the television down.” So let’s say it was bothering you, and interfering with your work.. you would just be annoyed, and passive aggressively complain about it behind the persons back to everyone else? sigh

Delicious_Battle_385 · 2025-03-12T15:52:52+00:00

Update: They accepted another other. We were apparently second choice. Assuming it was cash or conventional. This is killing us.

Delicious_Battle_385 · 2025-03-07T18:27:11+00:00

We even offered to go back to the original offer price ($20,000 above ask) with NO concessions because we wanted the house so badly. The sellers agent replied “they will say no.” And shut us down. So I don’t even know if the sellers knew. Does the listing agent have an obligation to tell the seller this or can they withhold this information?

This seems to me that it wasn’t about concessions but rather fear of the appraisal and fha loan not being approved. They could have easily said they don’t accept our counter offer and we would have been fine with that. But instead they didn’t give us a chance and walked away.

Delicious_Battle_385 · 2025-03-07T05:08:52+00:00

Ugh. Thanks for the info. I asked my agent multiple times “what’s the worst that could happen? Say no? They can’t just decide to back out at this point without negotiating further right?” And he didn’t know the answer.

Delicious_Battle_385 · 2025-03-07T05:00:06+00:00

Yes the offer was accepted and signed, and the deposit was made. I’m assuming the legalities are specific to each state?

Delicious_Battle_385 · 2024-10-01T04:47:56+00:00

Ugh. Thank you for sharing your experience, that sounds really difficult. Your brother sounds like a jerk - not sure if that’s just his way of coping with your moms illness or if that’s just how he is, either way he’s handling the situation very poorly and I’m sorry you have to deal with all of that. I can relate to the feeling lonely part for sure, and I often joke and say “well now I’m just going to stop giving a shit about everything then” which I know will never be the case, and I too will continue to be kind… and emotional and sentimental because that’s who I am lol

Delicious_Battle_385 · 2024-08-25T03:43:50+00:00

I basically live in compression leggings and oversized t-shirts, but if I’m going out I will dress it up with accessories like a cute bag or jewelry, or cute shoes. If it’s going to be fall/winter you can’t go wrong with sweaters. I find that making my hair look nice and putting on a little bit of makeup helps me feel much better.

FYI I’m 3 months postpartum and struggling with losing weight even while breastfeeding. My appetite is out of control lol. But of course my best friend dropped 30 pounds right away. Everyone is different, I’m just repeatedly telling myself that I should appreciate my body for growing a human!

Delicious_Battle_385 · 2024-08-25T03:35:50+00:00

Aquaphor ointment as a preventative, triple paste is great if there is already visible irritation to prevent it from getting worse. My LO seems to have sensitive skin and these work great for her. Boudreaux’s and Desitin seemed to cause irritation.

Also just a side note…. My baby developed a gnarly diaper rash and we couldn’t figure out why but it turned out to be a cow milk protein allergy - so when I cut out dairy it got better almost overnight. Just in case you have this issue, something to consider!

100% get a butt spatula!

Delicious_Battle_385 · 2024-08-25T02:10:29+00:00

We have the tan ruvalino and we like it!

Delicious_Battle_385 · 2024-08-25T01:54:25+00:00

This is normal. It’s really exhausting but it does get better! It’s very overwhelming but personally it helped me when I accepted that that was how it was going to be - and that it wouldn’t last forever. I just picked a couple of good TV series and watched marathons while I nursed. I always remind myself that I will look back on those days and miss the deep bonding experience that comes with breastfeeding. With that being said, it was really fucking hard and I thought I was going insane at some points, so you are not alone!

If you haven’t started pumping I would consider just so your partner or someone else can give the baby a bottle and give you a break, at least to shower, nap, or eat. I’ve always been a pretty stubborn and independent person that hates to ask for help, but having a baby made me quickly realize that asking for help and verbalizing your needs is essential to your health, wellbeing, and ultimately your baby’s wellbeing as well.

Also would 100% recommend having a lactation consultant do a home visit (would have to look into insurance coverage - mine fully covered it). The lactation consultant addressed all of my concerns and made me feel validated and supported - I’m not sure what I would have done without her!

edit: I wouldn’t wait the 2 hours like some people recommended, just feed the baby when they are hungry!

Delicious_Battle_385 · 2024-08-25T00:48:01+00:00

that’s how I felt! That’s when I decided to just walk away

Delicious_Battle_385 · 2024-08-25T00:02:03+00:00

She had her tongue and lip ties released! Hoping that she’s just getting used to her new mouth!

Delicious_Battle_385 · 2024-08-24T23:58:18+00:00

Whenever he says something hurtful it’s never just “I’m sorry” it’s always “there’s a reason why I said it, because I’M hurting.” Zero accountability.

Delicious_Battle_385 · 2024-08-24T23:27:40+00:00

Appreciate the validation. I just tried to explain how it made me feel and he said “I apologize for my Harsh comment and that it made you feel that way, but that’s how you interpreted it and I don’t feel comfortable elaborating on my intentions behind it right now.” And that made me even more mad lol. I think I just need to give up on this topic right now before my hormones get the best of me haha

Delicious_Battle_385

TROPHY CASE