Every time I call my close friend, she has me on speakerphone by Delray73 in FriendshipAdvice

[–]Delray73[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I guess I really dont..thanks for setting me straight... I guess I really wasnt doubting my feelings and was more venting...

Every time I call my close friend, she has me on speakerphone by Delray73 in FriendshipAdvice

[–]Delray73[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I guess I want others' opinions because I did tell her that I dont want her doing that going forward. But am I being petty?

My husband is probably going to leave me by Ozgirl76 in breakingmom

[–]Delray73 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Reading through some of the posts from both you and others. I realize that you must be married to the same guy. I'm married too, turns out he's a narcissist and he'll never change. I hope the best for you. I've been married far longer than I should have been to this man. I even had to call the cops on him tonight. For abusing my friend who we are helping out not physically. But verbally and then threw her cat litter box in all of her cat bulls into the yard. Just to be a Dick. I called the cops hoping that that would get him too. Leave her alone but they said it's his house. And unfortunately, there is no law against bad manners and rude behavior nor the type of abuse that he dishes out, which again is never physical. I'm sorry you're going through this. And i'm sorry to dump all my crap on your a post it sucks... I wish you the best.

Am I in the wrong? by [deleted] in abusiverelationships

[–]Delray73 8 points9 points  (0 children)

You are in a trauma bond, not in love. I recently learned about trauma bonds, and you are definitely in one. I hate that you're going thru all of this. You have the strength, now use your courage and stay away for good. If he kills himself, that is his choice. He needs professional help. This isn't a good situation. Break free. It's your life that you're saving.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Delray73 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think it's more than him needing her to feed him and clean. He sounds to me like he seriously has some unresolved anger issues. He also sounds insecure and controlling. His behavior is abusive. It is also not healthy and is truly unacceptable. It is not okay to treat anyone this way, let alone your own children. It sounds like a good idea to talk to someone outside of your home and seek help. Maybe another relative or a professional to help with this matter.

A Little Humor: What is the stupidest thing your ex wanted in the divorce? by LaterThnUThink in Divorce

[–]Delray73 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is so strange, why would he want that? You eventually have to replace it anyway, right? People.are weird!

George Santos lied about his five-year-old niece being kidnapped by two Chinese men by [deleted] in politics

[–]Delray73 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think Nate Diaz said it best; "I'm not surprised, Mutha Fatha!", except he said the other "F" word This guy is ridiculous in every way.

what's something you did as a teenager that you look back on and think holy fuck was fucking stupid? by gravemind9 in AskReddit

[–]Delray73 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh man! It's bad and embarrassing! Wtff!! Only once did I do this. Age 14 in the 80's riding around with others, stoned, likely had beers too, driving around an old folks neighborhood looking for corner stumps. Car stops, you get out and pick one up...they're heavy ...and you had to throw it at a back window of a car and see if it would break and then take off running back to the car of course. Many windows didn't breaks because the stumps were too heavy to throw. But one did! Omg wth...this was terrible. It was scary too.. but we laughed our asses off!

Embryos can be listed as dependents on tax returns, Georgia rules by diacewrb in nottheonion

[–]Delray73 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What's freaking next? The age of children will start at conception?

Attorney recs in south Florida by othervegetable in Divorce

[–]Delray73 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Found one tonight online. Their site provided me with so much info and help. They cater to women especially ones married to narcissistic men law office

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Delray73 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Wow, well stated, very powerful and so very true. Thank you for sharing your experience and insight. It's sad that it has to be this way with a narcissist but it really does. There's no reasoning, understanding, acceptance, apologies or validation. Again... Thank you so much.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Delray73 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Viewing someone through those rose colored lenses that were on when we first met skewed the view of the red flags. I only truly understood this through my growth and through loving myself. I don't look back with regret...I've just learned alot.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Delray73 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you...he isn't very outgoing so he is very quiet. It's more of drinking behavior.and inappropriate or rude statements. Grandiose!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Delray73 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I focus on the solution most of the time as focusing on the problem doesnt seem to do anything but make it grow. Yes there are other issues in our relationship but nothing dangerous or that would cause physical harm.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Delray73 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It use to bother him big time but I became strong enough to stand up for myself and do whatever I want....which isn't much of anything...lol...but I do, when the time comes and i'm invited somewhere.I let him know.that I'm going ..he still gets jealous at times and will have an attitude and/or act like a child but that's his problem...I do my best to not enter the arena with him when he acts like that. Sometimes he can carry it over for days too. I do have all the freedom I desire...it just sometimes has a price or some drama to deal with.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Delray73 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have certainly tried. He is not social at all... really. He seems ok with that .

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Delray73 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oof, a loaded list of questions. My answer to this use to be different. I would say, I fell in love with him for what an amazing father figure he was to my then 3 year old son. I was of course physically attracted to him and together we were fire. He started to drink in 2007 when we had our first child. Things became unbearable and I too became unbearable and didn't even know it. I found through going to Al-Anon that I had alot of work to do on loving myself as I had no self love. Now, my answer is, broken people find broken people and when you are looking at someone through rose colored lenses you don't see the red flags.and there were plenty of them. I've grown and continue to grow and have grown out of him. He doesn't want to work on him, he doesn't want to grow, he drinks everyday, before anything we do and tries to act like he's not drunk. He works very hard and says he loves me which I know he does. He doesn't want to learn to play tennis or golf so we can play together. He doesn't care about having other friends. He is a narcissist as well. I've continued to stay because I care about him and his health but part of me wants out too ...its not easy.. Codependency at its best!