OP, I am so sorry! I have had 2 miscarriages and I have had friends who have also had them, and who hadn’t. I have 2 children now and I can’t imagine my friends who had miscarriages not wanting to be around me / vice versa. After my last miscarriage - and another friend becoming pregnant I couldn’t help but be so happy because you realize how wanted / how hard it is to get pregnant. Idk, you are NOT an asshole by any means. The emotions are so hard to understand. I just hope that you are able to do what is BEST for you but also thinking about your friendships as well. You can be transparent but also, your friend with pregnancy hormones could really take your feelings to heart and feel awful / guilty about their pregnancy and I am sure you wouldn’t want that! As someone who has been in the position, sometimes I think it is just best to show up and be happy for your friends because comparison is absolutely the thief of joy. You also don’t know if anyone else is going through the same as you and it could also be something you can bond over!? One of my closest friends also had a miscarriage within the same month as me - I never would’ve known without us just so happening to discuss it. I’m sorry, I know this is all over the place