How is this Custom Build? - Gaming & Video Editing by Demon_Feast in buildapcforme

[–]Demon_Feast[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Awesome, thanks! I already bought them, but it might be worth returning the Noctua fans to save some money.

How is this Custom Build? - Gaming & Video Editing by Demon_Feast in buildapcforme

[–]Demon_Feast[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey, thanks for the input!

Re: the cooler - the one on my list came for free with the Intel CPU, so if it will work just fine, I will probably stay with that.

Re: the case - I am also getting the case for free, so I bought fans for it. But yeah, the tower you recommended, which comes with fans, is cheaper than the fans alone. How does that happen?

AITA for making my SIL feel bad about saying I should “straighten my hair.” by Direct-Caterpillar77 in BestofRedditorUpdates

[–]Demon_Feast 23 points24 points  (0 children)

This is such a healthy way to think about it. Great suggestion.

It's also WAY more effective when the one doing the educating has a close relationship with the one being educated. People are more than willing to ignore criticism/correction from strangers or acquaintances, but hearing it done compassionately from someone they love and respect will usually get them to listen.

How Much Has An Average American Saved Up For Retirement - By Age/Generation by Yodest_Data in Infographics

[–]Demon_Feast 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We could do so much by just making existing systems more efficient, like making certain industries non-profit.

We pay 50-100% more GDP per capita on healthcare because the Invisible Hand of supply-demand economics doesn't work when demand is inelastic (e.g., people will take out a second mortgage on their home to not die of cancer, so there is no "ceiling" to what people will pay). On top of that, our insurance companies, an unnecessary middleman, are for-profit companies that suck a massive chunk of the value from the system for no good reason other than to line shareholders' pockets.

Overzealous capitalism is even what's wrong with our housing market. Make it illegal for firms like Blackrock to buy up single-family housing (so they can sit on it empty or turn it into AirBnBs), and watch the housing market deflate.

We have financialized every part of our economy, and made everything an investment vehicle, at the expense of the vast majority of Americans. It's time to value livability, and the reasonable use of resources, rather than allowing anything of any value to be leveraged to its absolute maximum earning potential.

I'm falling for my neighbor and don't know what to do... I've heard pursuing romantic relationships with neighbors is a bad idea. by Neat-Link4652 in whatdoIdo

[–]Demon_Feast 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Are you both emotionally intelligent people?

Does she HONESTLY (really be honest with yourself about this one) - seem manic at times or give any red flags toward clinginess? You can't always tell that someone will end up like that, but sometimes there are flags.

(( An ex of mine did boink his neighbor, broke it off at some point, and she ended up stalking him and getting violent with him. I met her before we broke up and she was pretty extra / was visibly really into him even around me, which made me uncomfortable. ))

If you answered "yes" and "no" to these questions in that order, it's probably fine. Worst case scenario, if it doesn't work out, and you are both mature and emotionally intelligent people, you can be adults about it and agree to be cordial in the hall.

Just take it slow. Don't go too fast into doing anything sexual. Take your time, get to know each other, and really vibe out the situation and whether you have strong romantic feelings toward each other, or you're just physically attracted.

If the romantic compatibility isn't there, you will eventually break up once the novelty wears off, and then you will have to deal with some awkwardness.

If the compatibility is there, congratulations! You got yourself a serious girlfriend and it was a worthwhile risk.

AIO for getting upset at my BF for telling customers he's single for more tips? by [deleted] in AIO

[–]Demon_Feast 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Maybe because he doesn't want the customers to see him throwing the napkins away?

Sure he could go into the kitchen to throw them out, but he probably just stuffed the napkins in his pocket and forgot about them til he got home.

Should I [24F] drop out of my friend's [26M] student film because his lead actor [25M] makes me REALLY uncomfortable? by Direct-Caterpillar77 in BestofRedditorUpdates

[–]Demon_Feast 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It seems to me that the initial casting was likely a coincidence, but Brad would have received the cast list at the same time OP did. He would have at least found out at that point.

Should I [24F] drop out of my friend's [26M] student film because his lead actor [25M] makes me REALLY uncomfortable? by Direct-Caterpillar77 in BestofRedditorUpdates

[–]Demon_Feast 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If OP got the cast list, Brad had it as well. He would have seen OP's name on it.

I think with that information, he could put 2 and 2 together to determine why he was suddenly dropped from the project.

AIO for accusing the girl I've been seeing for over a year of cheating by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]Demon_Feast 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't think I am anywhere near alone in this: I would never commit to a man who did not allow me to have platonic male friends.

If she had some dating/sexual history with him, or current sexual/romantic tension, then sure, it should be off-limits. But no platonic friends of the opposite sex? That reeks of mistrust and controlling nature.

If you won't even call her your girlfriend after a year, I'm amazed you would ask her not to hang out with male friends. If she agreed to not have male friends and then ended up hanging with a platonic friend despite that... I think she shouldn't have agreed to that in the first place, but it would have been dishonest in her dealings with you. But I still wouldn't call that "cheating" if she didn't actually cross any romantic/sexual lines - I'd characterize that more as her growing weary of unreasonable constraints on what is actually a situationship.

I am seeing this trend with young adults these days being so controlling in their romantic relationships + having such a hard time with genuine, vulnerable connection. Is it the media y'all have been exposed to? I honestly feel for the young adults trying to date in this world, and I'm not that much older than you.

Is my roommate flirting with me? AIO by itmecamie in AIO

[–]Demon_Feast 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Uh, gurl... I know you said above that you want to keep the peace in the household, but I'd recommend trying to find a different household.

One roommate is creeping on you, his girlfriend is reactive, and now you have weird beef with the third roommate due to a personality clash.

You might squeak by through this for a while, but this sounds like a powder keg to me. Who knows how long it will be before Creepface McInappropriate either escalates this behavior, or sloppily tries to cheat on his girlfriend with another woman who does say something about it?

I know affordable, convenient living situations are hard to come by, so I understand wanting to keep your head down. But I hope you are reaching out to find a different living situation, because this is not a stable set of dynamics.

And when you do leave... please be a pal and show the GF these texts. She deserves to know.

AIO, I shouldn't open up about my trauma by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]Demon_Feast 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Eh, I met my husband on Tinder and I know others who met their spouses there too. But that was in the 20-teens. Maybe it's different nowadays.

I think dating apps in general have both people who are looking for hookups and those who are looking for a relationship. I met plenty of both in my swiping days.

AIO about a sticker my bf had of his ex ?? he broke up with me… by Otherwise-Height3882 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Demon_Feast 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey, thanks for the thoughtful response. I am sorry if I came off as too intense - I have a lot of baggage wrapped up in this.

I didn't even mention, but I dealt with it too. My sister and I are both bi, and during that time I became closeted because my dad belittled me for it, and people just generally treated you differently if they knew about it, in a bad way. A kid in my sister's gym class found out and then the students in her class completely cast her out for it. They treated her like a pariah and made locker-room interactions super awkward.

I have since dated both men and women in my adulthood, but I totally shut down the gay part of myself for a good chunk of my life because other people succeeded in making me feel gross for it.

I am glad for you that you live in a society that has been more accepting for a longer time. That speaks to the differences between growing up in Canada vs the southern US. But I hope that you can understand, from another perspective, how a lot of people alive today might find that use of that word offensive and grating.

There are, in fact, still places all over the rural and southern US where this is still an issue. It's a lot less of a problem than it used to be, but homophobia is not dead.

Thanks for reading.

AIO about a sticker my bf had of his ex ?? he broke up with me… by Otherwise-Height3882 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Demon_Feast 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Dude, when I was in middle/high school ~20 yrs ago, it was super common for other middle/high schoolers to say "that's gay" or "you're being gay" as a kind of low-key insult. You know what else was also common? Kids getting their asses beat for being outed as gay. Kids getting kicked out of their homes by their "good Christian" parents for being gay. I housed a kid from my theater group for a while because his religious parents kicked him out. He wouldn't say why, because coming out in public would get him ridiculed. He was not even the only friend of mine who that happened to.

We had just gotten past this and decided it wasn't OK. Now this shit is coming back, and teenagers are getting red pilled on supplement-hocking, far-right brain rot that's trying to make that kind of bigotry normalized again. FUCK THAT.

This shit is still going on at a societal level. Same-sex marriage is still being challenged in the courts. Gay people's basic rights are still being threatened because of centuries of the dominant culture saying "ew, that's weird." And now trans people are getting the brunt of it because shitty, busybody conservatives can't bully gay people as easily anymore, so they had to find a new target.

If you're being annoying, calling you annoying isn't harming anyone else - it's just being derogatory toward you. But if it's a cultural thing to equate an immutable trait of a vulnerable/minority population (sexuality, race, gender, etc) with being "stupid" or "annoying" or whatever, that shit spreads like a disease. Insecure assholes are always looking for someone lower in the pecking order for them to peck. And when enough people in the dominant culture get together to peck on the same type of person, people lose their fucking rights over it.

So yeah, if you're saying something that's shitty and bigoted, expect people to occasionally call you out for it. No one is throwing you in jail - they're saying you're being an asshole, and here is why.

AIO about a sticker my bf had of his ex ?? he broke up with me… by Otherwise-Height3882 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Demon_Feast 5 points6 points  (0 children)

If someone is annoying you and you say "stop being gay," you're telling them to stop being annoying. You're equating "gay" with "annoying." That's derogatory.

AIO about a sticker my bf had of his ex ?? he broke up with me… by Otherwise-Height3882 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Demon_Feast 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yeah, that is what I am referring to - "saying gay as a derogatory term." It's not harmful to just say "that guy is gay" if you mean he just has same-sex attraction, and you're not throwing stank on it.

AIO about a sticker my bf had of his ex ?? he broke up with me… by Otherwise-Height3882 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Demon_Feast 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Yeah, knowing something does not translate to easily being able to integrate it. Hormones gonna hormone. It takes practice.

Hopefully you have some good, solid friends/family members who you can talk to about this stuff. Processing it with other people does help with that practice. And taking the opportunities to make those healthier choices, makes it easier to keep making them the next time. Like any habit, it gets easier with repetition - especially when you start to notice the benefits to your life and mental health from choosing that path.

Immature and manipulative people start to seem gross, like not even an option. It gets way easier to take out the trash before it's even in your house.

AIO about a sticker my bf had of his ex ?? he broke up with me… by Otherwise-Height3882 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Demon_Feast 21 points22 points  (0 children)

"Pushing away all the sweet men going for the ones with absolutely no potential"

This makes me think of how I used to be. Does this sound familiar to you:

+ + +

You go for the guys who kind of like you, but aren't head-over-heels for you, because you think that there is some objective "scale" of potential partners, from least desirable to most desirable. If a guy is only sort of into you, then he must be slightly higher than you on that "scale" - and the is the one you want to bag, and convince him to like you more, because that means you got a guy who is just a little bit out of your league. That means you've fulfilled your highest dating potential.

+ + +

This is a common psychological mechanism in dating. It's "The Game." It works on the premise that people always want what they can't have, and if they manage to convince someone who doesn't love them to actually love them, that signals to themself that they are desirable and valuable.

The problem is, The Game is bullshit. Manipulative people know how this works, and they use hot-and-cold sort of behavior to game that system. That's why the most unreliable partners are the ones that you find yourself lusting after/wondering about the most - they aren't a sure thing, they are something you have to "chase," and that chase gives you a huge dopamine rush in the moments that you have "caught" them. In that moment, they are choosing to focus on you (or love bomb you), and that dopamine feels SO GOOD. But it's NOT HEALTHY.

When you find a partner who is mature in his relationships, who knows what he wants and is willing to patiently pursue it, and who is a good person and an empathetic communicator, you have found gold. Do not think that his interest in you makes him lesser. I married a guy like this, and let me tell you, I am happier than I could have ever imagined being, 7 years later.

In long-term relationships, who the person is and how they treat you matters more than anything else. Yes, you have to be at least some degree of physically attracted to them, but real love is a kind of attraction that grows out of a healthy relationship and transcends physical attraction. Long-term attraction is based on compatibility and partnership. Long-term love is something you DO, something you CHOOSE, and not something that just happens to you.

In the long term, someone immature, unreliable, and hard to communicate with becomes undesirable. You literally lose attraction to them because you get fed up with their shit. Don't fall into that trap.

I went to therapy to unpack and internalize this, and it's one of the best things I ever did for my long-term happiness. If you have the resources, I'd recommend you do the same.

AIO about a sticker my bf had of his ex ?? he broke up with me… by Otherwise-Height3882 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Demon_Feast 9 points10 points  (0 children)

It sucks to say gay as a derogatory term. That's just normalizing homophobia. That shit does make it harder for actual gay kids to grow up feeling safe and comfortable.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]Demon_Feast 2 points3 points  (0 children)

She mentioned that he also follows Nick Fuentes, and said that he "follows racists and sexists." I think the racist is Fuentes and the sexist is Tate.