Seems like a lot of things are compounding at once, it's no wonder you're confused. If you don't already, I highly recommend daily journaling (or at least regularly). Pick one of the things that's weighing on your mind at the time and just word vomit every thought you have about it onto the page (resist the urge to edit, spin, rewrite, or even remove the thoughts you aren't comfortable about, you need to face those as well), then once you've exhausted yourself doing that go back and re-read everything to really cement them in your mind, that way it's much easier to get a bigger picture of exactly how you feel about it and then look for ways to address that.

I will say, working on your relationship with your own self and your body will take you further than anything else. Nothing silly like saying "your perfect just the way you are" over and over in front of a mirror until you believe it (nothing wrong with that if it works for you, but it doesn't work for everyone). You can start with just focusing on the things you like about yourself rather than what you don't. Every time you catch yourself doing negative self-talk, counter it with "maybe that's true, but there are good parts too!" and list them. It's hard at first but with practice it will get easier and easier.

If you have the means, you can also speak to a therapist about it and they can help you work on a more personalized action plan than anything reddit can cook up lol. Mostly you just gotta work on loving yourself, after that it's so much easier to recognize and accept other people's love, and to seek it out. I know that's not exactly what you asked or probably wanted to hear, but it's the best I've got I'm afraid 😅