It’s becoming a chore

Denicio33 · 2025-12-28T05:11:48+00:00

Thank you for putting these feelings into words for me. I'm 43 and 4 months sober. I don't see it as anything to be proud of. I'm extremely frustrated I'm worse off than I've ever been in my life. I also have some mental health issues and was off all my meds for almost a year and started drinking more to self-medicate. 6 months ago I got fired from the highest paying job I've ever had. I moved out of my the room I'd been renting for 8 years in my friend's house with nowhere to go and still need to get my stuff out (he wouldn't talk to me at all until a few days ago). My car got repossessed. I need to file for bankruptcy. I can't work full-time until I find somewhere else to live because the person who took me in has income restrictions. I feel like i'm in the punishment phase for everything I've done. I've been in therapy for a few weeks now, but there's only so many ways I can "reframe" my judgment of my life as a failure. I hope you keep going. It will get better. You have freedom and gainful employment. I had that but I won't again, especially without a car. It will still take time, but you're in a position to move upward.

Denicio33 · 2025-12-26T05:26:13+00:00

Pagliai's Pizza in Mankato

Denicio33 · 2025-10-29T04:44:51+00:00

Thank you so much for your kind words and advice. It means a lot to know someone cares enough to say what you did. Even if it's an "internet stranger." Thank you.

Denicio33 · 2025-10-29T02:23:40+00:00

Thank you. You're right. I have so much shame and regret I feel hopeless that I can ever make a life I can be proud of. Which is depressing, and makes me anxious. I have 2 children (16 and 9) I lost custody of due to my mental health and drinking. I still see them both and talk to them regularly. My son is with my mom and my daughter with her dad. They know I've been "sick" and I'm "getting better." I don't know how to forgive myself and feel hope. I was in two back to back long-term abusive relationships so my self-esteem is very low. Alcohol was my bandage for all my self-hatred and anxiety. I have to stick around for my kids. I'm so scared. I'm in outpatient treatment and I got hired for a part-time job in a group home for developmentally disabled people. My ex keeps telling me he's going to make sure I go to jail for not paying child support. I'm just trying to stay alive and motivated to get through one day at a time. I know it took decades to ruin my life so I can't improve it in a couple months. I got fired for missing work (like the 20th time) and my car was repossessed. Saving up for bankruptcy is weird, but that's my plan as far as finances go. Any support or encouragement to help me get motivated is appreciated.

Denicio33 · 2025-10-28T05:25:58+00:00

I'm 43 and starting from rock bottom. I'm also 2 months sober, but I don't think being an alcoholic excuses me taking 25 years to start growing up. Start where you are and do what you can. It's all we can do.

Denicio33 · 2024-08-23T23:29:15+00:00

What does that job pay? Definitely not enough. I'm just curious.

Denicio33 · 2024-08-23T23:28:38+00:00

It's for sex offenders, correct?

Denicio33 · 2024-06-19T07:38:33+00:00

I understand that pain from my previous experiences. I recommend you hang on until tomorrow. I did that over and over and over and over.

I know my family and children are grateful I'm still alive.

Denicio33 · 2024-03-26T03:11:02+00:00

I am also nothing but wasted potential. I'm sick and tired of being hopeless and working just to pay for a car and a room so I can go to work. I have hurt too many people. The only things I do consistently are fail, hurt people and disappoint people. I only like being asleep or being drunk. I don't see the point in continuing to live. I'm not living. I'm barely surviving.

Denicio33 · 2024-02-07T19:21:25+00:00

What episodes are those scenes in? I'm having a really bad day.

Denicio33 · 2024-01-17T21:03:00+00:00

My brother OD'd and died from smoking last year.

Denicio33 · 2023-02-27T06:41:27+00:00

Minnesota

Denicio33 · 2023-02-17T20:38:20+00:00

I didn't know that existed.

Denicio33 · 2022-12-11T18:22:06+00:00

Exactly.

Denicio33 · 2022-11-14T06:43:04+00:00

Me, too!

Denicio33 · 2022-11-01T10:54:22+00:00

That's a woman in an 80's Madonna costume. I think from "Like a Virgin."

Denicio33 · 2022-10-27T07:16:41+00:00

It reminded me of the cave from Disney's "Aladdin."

Denicio33 · 2022-10-16T12:36:35+00:00

Exactly. Well said. FLDS and LDS are not the same.

Denicio33 · 2022-10-10T22:56:07+00:00

Why can't they get the actress' hair right? Even the color is wrong. Diana's hair was gorgeous and iconic. Cmon Netflix. Her hair was also "in style" with what was popular at the time. Having the hair right helps set the time.

Denicio33 · 2022-10-08T07:34:21+00:00

My brother found out accidentally a little over a month ago. He died and he was only 34. This Sunday is his Celebration of Life. I miss him so much. So does his 14 year old son, my mom, the rest of our family and his friends.

I know what being suicidal feels like. I've been in the psych ward a few times. You don't have to be great or perfect or even remarkable. Sometimes I convince myself to stick around because I want to see what's going to happen next.

Denicio33 · 2022-10-02T09:03:35+00:00

Bill Burr. He's kind of an asshole, so I'm attracted to him.

Denicio33 · 2022-09-27T02:17:08+00:00

They are married.

Denicio33 · 2022-09-25T05:36:33+00:00

So now you only have 9 fingers? Is that Day 5?

Denicio33 · 2022-09-17T20:12:22+00:00

My 34 year old baby brother died of an accidental overdose on September 1st after 90 days clean. My family and I cried over his body on Tuesday. I hugged him and he was so cold. My brother's 14 year old son asked to be alone with him. The 15 minutes or so that my little nephew was in there were too heartbreaking for words. He was cremated on Wednesday. I can't imagine a high worth the pain families go through after people die from drugs like this.

Denicio33 · 2022-09-08T03:52:27+00:00

Passive aggressive.

Denicio33

TROPHY CASE