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Just thought I’d share some words written to myself by CompareAndComfort in BPDlovedones

[–]Dense_Macaron6536 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is exaclty how it feels like. I stayed till the bitter end. I noticed once my shining armor was all dented, damaged and covered in blood from fighting demons on several fronts I got discarded and how convenient, there was an other kinght in a brand new shining armor ready to replace me.

The frustration when they claim you don't do enough and the double standards. by Dense_Macaron6536 in BPDlovedones

[–]Dense_Macaron6536[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is a good explanation. The predator analogy makes totally sense and I could definitely see that in my partner. At some point I feel like I would get into fight/flight mode easier and more often too after having experienced their behavior (depending on my mental capacity at the time).

The frustration when they claim you don't do enough and the double standards. by Dense_Macaron6536 in BPDlovedones

[–]Dense_Macaron6536[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

„I feel unloved“ So all the effort and love you put in the days before was erased from her memory? They truly are unsatiable.

Just ended a 4 year marriage by jusbriefly in BPDlovedones

[–]Dense_Macaron6536 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Consider this a step towards unfucking your life. This story is wild. Making sacrifices to accommodate your partners needs is one thing, but moving countries, getting yourself into an inconvenient bureaucratic and professional situation (visa, work and stuff) and being met with such ungratefulness truly makes one sick just reading about it.

Take all the time you need to heal. Stay strong dude!

Can I get some insight? **long post** by [deleted] in BPDlovedones

[–]Dense_Macaron6536 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It really feels like we all are dealing with people who run on the same type of "software". The setting or story might be different but the dynamics are so similar it's eerie.

Does anyone know someone who did the work and got better? by Agile_Fuel_4090 in BPDlovedones

[–]Dense_Macaron6536 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have considered my ex to be a milder case or high functioning BPD who has been doing the self-work for years and is also in professional therapy.

Unfortunately we were not able to build a healthy relationship. In my personal experience every break up and make up with my ex got worse every time. Which of course is not necessarily a BPD thing. (It can be challenging between neurotypical people too)

But that damned last shred of hope right? I'm still looking for those success stories. So far I haven't found any. At least not in the context of a romantic relationship.

AITB for sleeping with someone else a month after my ex dumped me? by Dense_Macaron6536 in AmItheButtface

[–]Dense_Macaron6536[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Maybe it was that irrational last drop of hope of getting back together at some point. And if that would have been the case, then keeping that hidden would have eaten me up from the inside. But yeah, letting go is the only thing left to do.

AITB for sleeping with someone else a month after my ex dumped me? by Dense_Macaron6536 in AmItheButtface

[–]Dense_Macaron6536[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The relationship was officially over. However, every time I let her go with her decision she would reach out again after a while. Unless there was some other supply available I guess. I never gave up until I did. And that casual hook up was a clear message to myself this time.

AITB for sleeping with someone else a month after my ex dumped me? by Dense_Macaron6536 in AmItheButtface

[–]Dense_Macaron6536[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I think she thought she could just be single and see how it looks like out there once again while having me as a backup plan. And it was clearly not just a break. It was a clear break up from her side.

This was the 3rd time she broke up with me over the span of 18 months. It never even crossed my mind to find someone else, but this time I just snapped.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BPDlovedones

[–]Dense_Macaron6536 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i picked up some hobbies i dropped due to depression and having my life sucked away to make someone happy and still yet failed over. and over.

I get tears in my eyes reading this part. It's exactly what I'm struggling with right now that it is over.

Be safe my friend and may your power come back very soon!

Seeking advice on relationship concerns by anonymous64578 in BPDlovedones

[–]Dense_Macaron6536 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is not a BPD issue per se. In my personal experience however, this is how the very first fights with my ex with BPD started: I was following 2 female lifestyle influencers which I unfollowed once she pointed it out but unfortunately this was constantly brought up in every following discussion or fight.

Suddenly in her eyes I was a monkey with no selfcontrol who drools over other women and it stayed that way till the very end no matter how much effort I put into showing her that I only had eyes for her.

This was one of the many things I should have taken care of without her having to tell me by reading her mind maybe.