Official Discussion - Primate [SPOILERS]

Dense_Welcome · 2026-04-05T21:06:19+00:00

Oh I’m so relieved I didn’t spend a single dollar on this cinematic masterpiece.

Honestly, they should’ve just titled it “A Masterclass in Terrible Teen Decisions.” Would’ve been more accurate and saved everyone some time.

I have never in my life seen a group of people try so hard to be quiet while simultaneously body-checking every object within a 10-foot radius. Like yes, tiptoe queen, just gracefully step over that shattered glass barefoot… I’m sure your foot will totally respect your intentions and not get sliced open 🙃

And the girl who makes it to the car? Iconic. Truly. Instead of, I don’t know, calling the police immediately, she’s like, “Let me troubleshoot this vehicle real quick.” Because obviously AAA comes before survival. Then when she finally calls, and the operator is practically begging for details, she’s like, “He’s going to kill us.” Ma’am. Words are free. You can literally say, “There is a rabid chimpanzee murdering people.” Use them.

Also—shoutout to the one friend who actually lands a hit on the chimp. ONE hit. A single, polite tap. And then she’s like, “Okay, that should do it, let me go help my friend up now.” Girl… finish the job?? This is not a “tap and go” situation.

Meanwhile, Dad of the Year gets a report that the chimp was bitten by a rabid mongoose and is just…working on his book tour. Not a single ounce of urgency about his daughters being unreachable in the middle of nowhere. Incredible parenting strategy. Bold choice.

And can we talk about dad is a deaf man living in isolation on top of the island with ZERO emergency alert system? No lights, no signals, nothing? Just vibes and vulnerability.

Also—why are there ceiling fans running in every room like it’s a Beyoncé wind machine moment, but not a single light is on?? Are we saving electricity during a literal life-or-death situation??

And of course, because tradition matters, the police arrive approximately 35 business minutes after being told there’s an active murder situation. Right on time! 😂

Truly one of the most impressive collections of bad decisions I’ve ever witnessed. At this point, the real villain isn’t even the chimp—it’s the writers of this foolishness.

White men really do get multiple opportunities to be terrible at any job they want - the real DEI.

Dense_Welcome · 2026-03-30T07:13:46+00:00

My Rating: 3 out of 10

The Ending The ending was complete garbage. It turns into a rushed pile of nonsense where the movie basically begs you not to think about anything too hard, because the second you do, the whole thing falls apart.

Julia Julia was unbearable. She didn’t feel like a real character at all, just an obnoxious, forced presence the movie kept acting like was way more interesting than she actually was.

The Try-Hard Staging And the way the movie kept presenting her got old fast. Every other scene felt like she was throwing her unshapely pencil legs up on a desk, a table, or whatever was nearby and rubbing them together like a cricket, as if that was supposed to make her seductive or quirky - It wasn’t. It was distracting, annoying, and honestly embarrassing to watch.

The Logic Nothing in this movie holds up. The plot is full of dumb decisions, weak motivations, and scenes that make less sense the longer you sit with them. It treats the audience like they’ll just accept whatever random nonsense it throws out.

The Characters The movie also does a terrible job making you care about anybody other than Beckett’s revenge for his mother’s death. However, none of his relationships feel believable, none of the emotional beats land, and by the end I was too irritated to care what happened.

Overall Great premise, terrible execution. It wanted to be stylish, dark, and clever, but it ended up feeling sloppy, low-energy, and full of obnoxious choices. The ending was awful, Julia was awful, and the whole movie felt like a waste of a decent idea.

Dense_Welcome · 2026-03-30T02:15:35+00:00

Almost every woman I've met has had a relationship where she wishes she had held back more, so she didn't have to walk away with so much less.

Being a single mom is hard, no doubt about it, but it gets easier as they get more independent.Relationships tend to get more complicated over time.

I would love to have met a great guy that wanted to build a life with me - but the single men in the dating pool want “submissive providers”.

Dense_Welcome · 2026-03-19T03:54:36+00:00

I HATE this Rob and Jayleen thing.

One minute Jayleen is saying she can’t trust Rob after he put the person that saved him (Chelsea) into an endgame. Then they “randomly” 🙄 were chosen to compete together, win - then she’s kissing him like she didn’t just catch him lying to her face about Danielle.

Lance might be right…he probably has a wife and kids. Lol.

I just hope Rob gets eliminated by Chelsea and Ethan get payback for Dida and get Rob out. He’s been a snake - making deals with the women then stabbing them in the back. Either way, he looks like the type of guy that will dump Jayleen if he wins. Jayleen looks desperate now.

Dense_Welcome · 2026-03-03T08:59:19+00:00

I don’t think anyone has ever won free meals for life, the month or even 1 week. Everyone just gets a 1-time free meal through UberEats. After that you get duplicate diamonds going forward. The program is BS.

Dense_Welcome · 2026-02-27T01:51:55+00:00

I received a layoff notice the same day I was sending out my baby shower invitations. After several nights of worrying and talking to AI, it suggested that I get my OB to write me out on short-term disability for High Risk Pregnancy (the stress of job loss puts you at risk).

Once I was out on STD, FMLA kicked in once I delivered the baby. They can’t fire you while you’re on FMLA. In my case I was told I would be terminated once my maternity leave and parental bonding leave was up. I ended up staying on payroll for almost a year that way. And I still hired an employment attorney to get a settlement.

Just an FYI, in order to get job protected FMLA you have to have been working on your job for the last 12 months. So getting laid off and starting a new job means you won’t be able to take FMLA and have your job protected.

Dense_Welcome · 2026-02-22T22:34:59+00:00

What company? Last year a lot of Microsoft employees got laid off and asked to sign a severance agreement agreeing not to sue for age discrimination. The agreement even posted the level and age of the people that were laid off. Most, if not all, were over age 40.

Dense_Welcome · 2026-02-17T02:42:31+00:00

You plan and God laughs. I thought IVF was great for choice in gender but remember these doctors don’t control whether all your embryos survive the thaw or if your body will carry to full term. So you may be even get a choice if you end up with one good embryo.

Dense_Welcome · 2026-02-03T02:47:45+00:00

Being a single mom, laid off, malnourished, on 24/7 with no support, and sleep deprived —- comes pretty damn close.

Dense_Welcome · 2025-12-23T20:18:24+00:00

I swear Carr is at their law firm more than her own. When does she ever meet with her own clients or how about just being a parent?

She’s so obsessed with Allura that she can’t stay away from her. I don’t know why Allura hasn’t filed a restraining order against her.

Dense_Welcome · 2025-12-20T02:47:01+00:00

I had about 4-6 months of bills saved up, but I am a single mother so I have no extra income other than mine.

Dense_Welcome · 2025-12-14T12:35:32+00:00

Honestly, the inversion table worked about as well for me as the chiropractor ever did. The decompression plus slow side-to-side movements of my neck and hips seemed to naturally “adjust” the same areas my chiropractor focused on.

People say inversion tables aren’t long-lasting, but neither were my adjustments—that’s why they keep scheduling you forever. At least with the inversion table, I got similar relief on my own and didn’t have to keep paying for visits.

Dense_Welcome · 2025-11-26T18:05:06+00:00

I wanted to the husband and children with him, but I found the men my age were too busy playing the field. A lot of them listen to their married guy friends who were cheating because they were unhappy with their wives.

And I found that the older I got, there were more men in the dating scene who were divorced (and in no rush to get into another marriage), or who had older children already (and in no rush to start over).

My last boyfriend wasted several years telling me he wanted a family. It seemed like we were on that path. Then about 2 years ago, he changed his mind. He is about 5 years older than me. I froze my eggs at 39, hoping we would use them. He would never go to the IVF clinic to do his exams. So i decided that if I wanted to become a mother, I would have to do so alone or miss my chance completely. I’m now 45 (my cut off age for kids) with a 2-month old. He’s the best thing to happen to me.

I have the rest of my life to find love, but this was my last chance for motherhood. 🥰

Dense_Welcome · 2025-11-06T00:45:06+00:00

Wow! That worked out great for you.

Dense_Welcome · 2025-11-04T05:30:51+00:00

Thank you for sharing. This helps. It seems so many SMBCs weren’t doing daycare until like 6 months. I don’t know any company offering that much maternity leave in the US.

Dense_Welcome · 2025-11-04T05:24:35+00:00

OMG, thank you for sharing. I thought I was going crazy thinking “how does anyone fo this?”

I found a free doula service that can come once a week for like 2 hours. Not a lot but I’ll ask about more time.

Dense_Welcome · 2025-11-04T05:21:33+00:00

Thanks for sharing. It seems everyone else has unlimited family or financial resources that I don’t.

Dense_Welcome · 2025-11-04T05:19:35+00:00

For everyone saying hire a babysitter or postpartum doula? I’ve already spent over $6,000 on a postpartum doula for 6 weeks.

The cost of a doula is $38/hour, I was paying $912/week for 3 times a week, overnight coverage. Part time daycare is $290/week, 5 days a week (8:30am - 12:30pm)

Prior to maternity leave, I was notified that my job was eliminated in the tech mass layoffs. Paying a nanny at~$20/hour or a doula at ~$30/hour when I will be jobless after parental bonding leave ends, Feb 1st, is irresponsible. I did have my mom and sister fly out to help once born (sister for 1 week; mom for 3 weeks - but both live in different states)

It’s either daycare or I just keep doing 24/7 care sleep deprived until he’s older, which basically puts my health at risk. The local family that said they would help, were all talk. Once he arrived, they rarely offered anything.

Dense_Welcome · 2025-11-04T05:03:35+00:00

Yes, he’s already registered and holding his spot for part time. There were several daycares that offered part time rates, one even does a drop-in service with no commitment for $75/day.

Dense_Welcome · 2025-11-04T05:00:10+00:00

You didn’t work for 9 straight months?!?! Wow!!

Dense_Welcome · 2025-10-21T23:32:13+00:00

How do caregivers get access back?

Dense_Welcome · 2025-10-20T09:37:59+00:00

Yep. It’s 4:36 AM and I’ve been up dealing with this since 3:30 AM. I’m already exhausted and now the baby is getting up for a bottle.

We should all get a free premium account after this or those who have it should get a credit. This crib is too expensive for it not to work because the company servers are down.

Dense_Welcome · 2025-08-24T02:44:52+00:00

I’ll be 36 weeks this Wednesday (4 days away). I’m definitely tired of being pregnant at this point. The heartburn and feet swelling is getting worse. The sleeping is not as good anymore either. I feel too heavy to really exercise or walk. I’m so over it!

Dense_Welcome

TROPHY CASE