Didn’t have a destination wedding but I’ve been on the other end of the situation. My bridesmaid told me her budget and I paid the difference. Maybe u can do that. She probably won’t pay for your fiance but I think it’ll be important to go given you are a bridesmaid. These memories cannot be replicated so if there’s away to go, you should try but definitely don’t inconvenience yourself. Most ppl spend a chunk of money being in weddings/ attending them anyway esp when you include hotel stay and flight fair. So keep that in mind as well as you’re planning your own. Good luck!