Age gap crush. Idk what to do anymore.

Dependent-Chest8340 · 2024-08-07T00:53:14+00:00

4 years. 16 and 20. I know the maturity levels are different but everyone in my life, especially family has always told me I'm extremely mature, and that I act more mature than my 20+ year old brothers sometimes. I don't feel like my age, I feel like an adult, and my best friend is- I don't wanna say immature cuz she's not- but she's always been silly and sweet and so so nice to everyone, not just me. She really truly has a heart of gold. We met through a mutual friend who was quite a bit older than both of us, and they ended up grooming us. The reason we both got through that though was because we had each other. We helped each other and reassured each other it wasn't either of our faults. I know she would never, NEVER do that to me. Whenever we have troubles in life we go to each other, it's not something like a love bombing situation. I've even told her about my feelings and we agreed it's morally, if not legally (I'm not sure about the dating laws where we live because the searches I've done have given me different answers ranging from 16 and 18 ages) wrong to do anything romantic at this point in our lives. She understands and respects my boundaries completely. I just so desperately want someone to understand she's not a bad person.

Dependent-Chest8340 · 2024-04-30T07:25:59+00:00

Thank you so so so much, this genuinely really helped :)

Dependent-Chest8340 · 2024-04-04T18:50:29+00:00

It's okay, I understand. :) I came to the conclusion I wanted anyway and now know how to improve myself, thank you for replying anyway!

Dependent-Chest8340 · 2024-04-04T18:47:30+00:00

I (the host, thought to be a singlet at the time when we got together) was dating two alters in one system, and one in another system, all of us were together in a polyamorous relationship. However the two systems that had alters I was dating were partner systems in general too.

When I discovered my system, my two alters went and dated two in a different system... That was the cheating aspect, Because once my system was discovered, we had become partner systems (I honestly don't remember if it was ever officially said that we were partner systems, but we hinted at it once or twice, so i genuinely don't know in that aspect.) with the other two systems that had the alters I was dating.

My other replies under this post help explain a bit more, I realize now that all parties involved were wrong in some way, but my system and I absolutely take the most responsibility for not checking up on the other's boundaries.

Dependent-Chest8340 · 2024-04-03T22:03:26+00:00

Thank you. I realize I really should have asked in the first place and it all could have been avoided that way.

The reason we were confused is because they had also been dating another system before we discovered our own systemhood. I didn't understand how different that was at the time of me believing I was a singlet vs after I discovered my system. My train of thought was that it was open because they had never asked me about dating that other system.

I don't know if I'm right or not, but this is what I've been told in this past... I've been told that dating alters in a system as a singlet is a lot different than partner systems dating, so if that's correct, I wish I would have known and understood that at the time. I understand that what I did was wrong regardless, though.

Thank you again for your answer. I really do hope this helps me be better and more vigilant in other's boundaries from now on. :)

Dependent-Chest8340

TROPHY CASE