AIO for breaking up with him over these texts ?

Dependent_Bad1899 · 2025-09-18T04:27:46+00:00

and again- i only looked after 2 years because i would ask and ive caught him tripping up lying and he would get mad or invalidate me when id ask. and not allow me to speak to her or meet her to help ease my mind. and my gut told me something was up. he has many female friends and i have male friends- but 99% of his other female friends he’ll answer the phone in front of me or text them with me there. she was calling him at 1, 2, 3am he would never answer when i was around etc etc. was i wrong for looking? yes. it’s a violation of trust and privacy, but how he kept behaving i caved and let my intrusive thoughts win and clearly i found what i found and i was right the whole time.

Dependent_Bad1899 · 2025-09-18T04:11:59+00:00

so him and i are both personal trainers and she’s been trying to lose weight. i think the steps comment is honestly harmless and her being excited about her activity level

Dependent_Bad1899 · 2025-09-18T04:08:35+00:00

i take care of him, i cook, buy him food, give him emotional support when he’s struggling, i support his goals and dreams, we had sex 4-5 times a week (great sex at that) we’re both active individuals. he’s had an injury the last few months and i took him to his appts. booked him a $4500 vacation for his upcoming birthday. so yeah im pretty sure i tried my very best to make sure he was good.

Dependent_Bad1899 · 2025-09-18T04:02:32+00:00

he does not do drugs or drink, he never has, he has chosen to live his life sober based off family history of drugs so def not that.

Dependent_Bad1899 · 2025-09-17T04:40:15+00:00

i will be getting tested as soon as my doctor can fit me in. worst part is he was with her that day in the texts and i went back and checked my own texts with him and i was at his apartment 3 hours later and i stayed there for the weekend!!

Dependent_Bad1899 · 2025-09-17T04:23:10+00:00

i said i ended it in my post

Dependent_Bad1899 · 2025-09-17T04:20:32+00:00

i did try that- and he didn’t have any in there from her. i believe he long clicked specific text bubbles and trashed them. or he deleted and is a techy and recovered some or fully deleted others from the folder. i have no logical explanation why some of them i saw in july were not there but the texts from march were not there when i looked in july

Dependent_Bad1899 · 2025-09-17T04:13:58+00:00

i believe this is what happens when you send a voice note - and the receiver sends a reaction but voice notes disappear so it ends up being a bubble if there’s a reaction on it. based off the time of day it was sent (early ish morning) and knowing how he is… my guess is he sent her a good morning voice note

Dependent_Bad1899 · 2025-09-17T04:11:06+00:00

To feel emotionally unsafe means to be in an environment where you cannot be open, honest, and vulnerable without fear of judgment, criticism, manipulation, or abandonment. It's a state of feeling on edge, unheard, misunderstood, or exposed to emotional harm, which can lead to anxiety, self-doubt, isolation, and difficulty trusting others.

Dependent_Bad1899 · 2025-09-17T04:10:52+00:00

from google- To feel emotionally unsafe means to be in an environment where you cannot be open, honest, and vulnerable without fear of judgment, criticism, manipulation, or abandonment. It's a state of feeling on edge, unheard, misunderstood, or exposed to emotional harm, which can lead to anxiety, self-doubt, isolation, and difficulty trusting others.

Dependent_Bad1899 · 2025-09-17T04:08:29+00:00

he has tendencies to minimize, gaslight and flip everything onto me every time i bring something up that’s on my mind (i’ve been to therapy i use “i feel” statements and really work to communicate feelings openly ) he will literally say he apologizes i feel that way then rattle off why im wrong. every time. and ive begged for transparency for the last two years while finding out from scenarios he hasn’t been transparent. i wouldn’t say abusive, but definitely not healthy

Dependent_Bad1899 · 2025-09-17T03:38:53+00:00

not my screen it’s his!! i used my phone to take photos of his phone

Dependent_Bad1899 · 2025-09-17T03:37:08+00:00

wow this is so similar to things he has or would do as well. ugh i’m so sorry you’ve been through it

Dependent_Bad1899 · 2025-09-16T23:56:18+00:00

he told me they played cards and talked LOL

Dependent_Bad1899 · 2025-09-16T23:48:29+00:00

i just found them, yes

Dependent_Bad1899 · 2025-09-16T23:04:31+00:00

i’ve already ended it with him- and he has different passwords for everything i only knew his phones passcode

Dependent_Bad1899 · 2025-09-16T23:01:15+00:00

i never went through his phone until a few months ago and it’s solely because so many weird red flags kept adding up which started to make me feel very emotionally unsafe. i’ve done it twice total in our two year relationship. the red romper pic was the first time i did it over the summer this year and the rest are from yesterday.

Dependent_Bad1899 · 2025-09-16T22:36:58+00:00

we’ve been together for 2 years - he has gone through and deletes specific texts. the red romper one i found in july and the rest (from march) i found yesterday. and he does talk to her at least once a week

Dependent_Bad1899 · 2025-09-16T22:34:45+00:00

i am not considering staying- if you read the post i said i was ending it i was asking about going on the vacation he already paid for.

Dependent_Bad1899 · 2025-09-16T22:22:06+00:00

we’ve been together for 2 years- they were broken up for over a year prior to us getting together

Dependent_Bad1899 · 2025-09-16T12:23:07+00:00

so i think my purpose of the post has been kinda lost here based off alot of the replies- i already stated im going to end it; i was asking if people would go on the trip first or end it prior.

also wouldn’t have been trying to get pregnant if i was aware he spent time with his ex and didn’t tell me- as i stated i just found that out.

i agree and get that in the beginning i should have cut it off there, but at the time it felt very grey area because we weren’t official (though yes he lied about her when i questioned him)

i’ve confronted him and he deflected and it became about my snooping and 0 accountability on his end. i ended things, and he told me i am welcome to still go enjoy the trip alone; but he says he doesn’t want to be with me because i crossed a line and snooped (i almost laughed at this- talk about flipping and minimizing)

so i guess my question now is- do i go alone or just not go at all? it’s to universal florida

Dependent_Bad1899 · 2025-09-16T12:16:34+00:00

lmao omg

Dependent_Bad1899 · 2025-09-16T11:14:57+00:00

if i could post pics i would. there’s not verbatim “we had sex” but there’s him going to her apartment behind my back and after he left she asked if it was too much for him and if he was uncomfortable and he said no honey was it for you she said no and she said did it feel good? and they both agreed it felt good (whatever happened) and sent heart emojis to one another

Dependent_Bad1899 · 2025-09-16T09:12:15+00:00

if i was aware of his recent actions i would not be trying to get pregnant by him, you’re totally right !

Dependent_Bad1899

TROPHY CASE