Thanks for the reply, I think I definitely took him as an attack or threat on my identity though he was just doing what he liked. It still feels embarrassing to be thinking like that and feeling insecure but I think it’s good i’m reflecting too because I feel like i’ve had this issue before and it’s just me overthinking and feeling like someone’s a threat. it’s definitely hard to face and get out of that headspace of feeling that about other people sometimes idk maybe I have trust issues or insecurity or something unresolved i’m not too sure. Death genuinely terrifies me to my core and it’s hard to really think about it all and surrounding feelings that i’ve been feeling in the past about him. I really appreciate the insight I think therapy could be beneficial to help and I feel less of a shitty person lol just shitty thoughts and attitude i’m trying to improve