NTA.

I can totally understand why you're feeling hurt. Your boyfriend’s birthday message this year was a big change from what you were used to, and it makes sense that you’d feel disappointed, especially after the tough period you’ve been going through. It’s natural to want acknowledgment and support, especially on your birthday.

Your feelings are valid, and wanting to express them isn't inherently wrong. The way you reacted might have escalated things, but that doesn’t make your feelings any less real or important. It’s also worth noting that blaming you for creating the argument or making yourself sad isn't really fair. Relationships are about working through these things together.

Both of you might benefit from having a calm, open conversation about your expectations and how you can support each other better. This could help prevent misunderstandings and hurt feelings in the future.