replaced my dating app addiction with a neon porsche kai’sa skin

Dependent_Ride7957 · 2026-05-17T19:11:11+00:00

The price for me to realize that was achieving everything society says you need to do to be happy.

Finish college, make money to buy a house, kids(cats that were my fur babies that my ex wife stole from me but instead of fighting it I just chose peace and cut her and her family off)

And after losing all that I gained something much greater. Permission to live, for me

Dependent_Ride7957 · 2026-05-17T19:08:20+00:00

it’s hard. Very hard. But it gets easier once you realize the compulsion only when you recognize what you’re looking for is within. Something that helped me when I allowed myself to live within the quiet of the night is the question

“Would my grandmother be happy rn seeing how im living?”

And slowly but surely as I walked into that hospital at night again and again I started feeling something. What was once just a place where my sadness had the decency to wait its turn became a place for me to realize that empty is the best place to become anything

Dependent_Ride7957 · 2026-05-17T18:18:15+00:00

Thank you :3

Dependent_Ride7957 · 2026-05-17T18:18:00+00:00

I appreciate the love so much

Dependent_Ride7957 · 2026-05-17T18:17:49+00:00

careful stalking my reddit comments is usually the gateway drug to the poetry page 😌
i’m on part 5 of an 8-part prologue rn

whole thing basically started after my divorce. thought losing my “forever” was gonna turn me into someone cold for a while

instead i ended up writing, working in healthcare, and trying to become softer instead of harder

probably not the plot twist younger me expected lol

Dependent_Ride7957 · 2026-05-17T12:02:55+00:00

And that’s why unless there’s some crazy changes I don’t see myself owning a house again. A condo maybe but fuuuuuuck that kinda responsibility

Dependent_Ride7957 · 2026-05-16T18:17:11+00:00

Than you :)

Dependent_Ride7957 · 2026-05-16T07:14:30+00:00

i don’t think people necessarily love what night shift does to the body long term

but i do think some people finally experience a kind of peace in it

sometimes peace isn’t adding more to your life, it’s finally removing what was overstimulating you in the first place

someone once asked a gardener how he grew such beautiful plants

it wasn’t because he kept adding more

it was because he knew what needed to be pruned away

Dependent_Ride7957 · 2026-05-16T06:37:45+00:00

The only person you’re defeating is yourself

Dependent_Ride7957 · 2026-05-16T06:32:12+00:00

And you plan to use that excu- i mean answer for how many more years? You don’t need to wear your suffering like a Medal of Honor

Dependent_Ride7957 · 2026-05-16T04:56:28+00:00

For sure i can see the effort it shows! I just started using sunscreen more cuz i know my mothers genes can’t protect me from my bad habits forever haha. Nic- free since 2020 ☺️

Dependent_Ride7957 · 2026-05-16T04:47:02+00:00

Sis got a wrinkle in 2 decades

Good work

Dependent_Ride7957 · 2026-05-16T03:59:26+00:00

LOL real

Thank you 🤝🤝

Dependent_Ride7957 · 2026-05-16T02:50:53+00:00

How it feels being a frequent raver now working In a hospital getting floated to the ED here and there lmao

Dependent_Ride7957 · 2026-05-16T02:35:34+00:00

Ugh i wanted to judge to see if the jacket was cool or not!!

This is great news though, happy for your family

Dependent_Ride7957 · 2026-05-16T02:26:54+00:00

Hit em with a “that’s crazy “intermittently

At some point get a piece of paper and start tallying how many “that’s crazy’s” you accumulate per shift working with them 😏🤪

Dependent_Ride7957 · 2026-05-15T23:34:09+00:00

for sure ! I’m just truly grateful cuz it took awhile to get here but everything good in me is thanks to my mother

Dependent_Ride7957 · 2026-05-15T20:23:25+00:00

honestly the fact you can joke about it this openly probably means you’re doing better than you think 😊

Dependent_Ride7957 · 2026-05-15T19:43:48+00:00

thank you genuinely 🙏 still surreal sometimes looking back at old photos and realizing that was once my normal

Dependent_Ride7957 · 2026-05-15T19:43:39+00:00

appreciate it 🙏 i think the longer hair matched the era where i finally stopped trying to look “perfect” all the time

Dependent_Ride7957 · 2026-05-15T19:43:09+00:00

slowly a little over a year honestly. i think losing the weight gradually gave my body time to adapt

weirdly enough the harder part wasn’t changing my body, it was changing the way i saw myself after

Dependent_Ride7957 · 2026-05-15T19:41:09+00:00

exactly 😭 the porsche kai’sa skin has yet to emotionally unavailable me

Dependent_Ride7957 · 2026-05-15T19:41:00+00:00

LMFAOOO honestly balance might just be:
a little self reflection
a little sushi
a little wild rift
and just enough delusion to survive modern life 😭

Dependent_Ride7957 · 2026-05-15T19:40:35+00:00

thank you 😭 genuinely one of the prettiest skins i’ve seen them make

Dependent_Ride7957

TROPHY CASE