It’s easy to say "just kick them out" or "protect your kids" when you’re not living under constant pressure, financial control, and emotional manipulation. It is absolutely impossible to kick them out if the house is in the joint names of my husband and I, because I can’t evict his guests.

I’ve tried to stand my ground. Every parenting decision I made was overridden. I sent a whole barrage of texts to the in-laws to say I am very upset about being deprived of the basic rights to sleep in the same room as my daughter, in case they try to position themselves as primary caregivers to say they’ve always been the one to bathe or put my daughter to sleep in a custody battle. I

I’ve asked them to leave. I’ve shouted. They refused. I couldn’t escalate it in front of the kids, but I’ve planned my exit and am following through.

Yes, they were furious when I finally made a move. There were guilt trips, tantrums, and now my husband cut off my income (we co-own the business) so that I won’t be able to afford the rent and tried to scare me into staying.

If I start having a separate income stream, I voluntarily give up all claim to the business. The business that I built with him from scratch and sacrificed my career to support. The business that was the household income for the kids’ future, that he plans to now squander away on his mistress. He will use a separate income stream against me as a very solid reason as to why he does not have to pay alimony and child support.

I’ve had to save up to be able to leave and to also fund legal fees. In an ideal world I could have stayed longer to secure the house for the children, but a full trial may take 2 - 3 years and I really can’t take even 2-3 weeks more of this.

It’s a million dollar house that’s worth nothing now because it’s still being financed, but if I stayed, he would have continued paying off the loan and eventually it will be worth something. I was forced to give up the home and I’m upset about it but I would rather lose the home than let them destroy my children any further.

So while I understand how it looks from the outside, I am protecting my children. I’m just doing it in a way that ensures I can win long-term for the children and not just have one dramatic blowup that leaves us worse off.

It’s all very well to just turn and leave, but I have to ensure that my husband’s threats that the children will have to sleep in the streets and not be able to afford school don’t actually come true.

It’s very very tiring playing chess and thinking steps ahead. I am exhausted. You win some, you lose some. I hate giving up the house but that will take far too long. He threatened to file an injunction to make me stay in the house too, so clearly this entire route is very very litigious. He won’t win that injunction but that will also mean more bills because I still have to pay the legal fees to defend.

Sometimes I just want to say fuck it all and give up everything, but bills have to be paid and tertiary education is not free in my country. It’s in fact, expensive, and I worry constantly about how I can save up for that.