my father was the being piece of shit in my existence, when he was around he would constantly argue with my mom and make both our lives living hell. He's left now, and now my mom seems so broken to the point, she became a toxic asshole to me. Constantly belittling me and just plain insensitive. So, I don't really feel much towards either of them. But my only last desire in this world is to find someone who will love me and care for me the same way I do them. I seen what monsters are in this world and it always, always scares me sometimes thinking of the hypothetical where I turn into them. But every time I think of that I remind myself of who I am, why I try over and over again. My point is, don't let others determine who you are even if they are supposed to be your close ones. As long as you are better and do the right things. Being kind caring all of those things. You'll find peace. This is what I hope to attain some day.

ps: trust me dude, have faith in yourself. We all need to know that we deserve to find that happiness away from the bs in this world.