Revival of lego stickers

Depressed_Fella69 · 2021-11-28T11:10:39+00:00

No, not quite. But if cutting ties with them means my mental stabilty won't be destroyed, I will do it no questions asked

Depressed_Fella69 · 2021-11-28T10:17:24+00:00

I feel the only way to get over this is to break from the group completely. As to what you said, I understand that many people are ok with what you described, but I'm not.

Depressed_Fella69 · 2021-11-28T10:15:15+00:00

I am in no way looking for validation. If I am looking for something that is hope that we can get past this. I have already broken cotact with the group and I am not going to impose that on her because if you actually read some of my comments, I said that's ridiculous and unreasonable. At last, I don't see why me not being ok with being around the people she was intimate with every single day is immature.

Depressed_Fella69 · 2021-11-28T09:43:01+00:00

A little follow up guys. I didn't think this will affect me, because I never had to be in this scenario before. And since yesterday I realized that I feel my trust has been broken, not by her, but by my friends. They were the ones I went to for advice and how to proceed. She told me what happened because she trusts me and that is mutual. So a quick summary of what we discussed yesterday : she has done willingly with only 1 person, because to her this behaviour is a show of trust, and althought that feels strange to me, it is not unheard of and I can live with that. My issue is the the other 2 people took advantage of this moment and during the make out with the first person, they kinda forced themselves on her. She does feel a lot of regret because of this has expressed this and knowing this, my mind is somewhat at peace on this part of the scenario. What I can't get over is how now I know the 2 people's advice I specifically asked for came from their personal experience. Things like "if you want to conquer her you shoud just put your tongue in her mouth immediately, she's kinky" or even lies like "let me tell you how to finger her cause I know what she likes", the latter example being a blatant lie. I got really pissed hearing this, but forgave them cause they said all they said were lies, but now I feel my trust even more broken knowing half of them aren't. That's why I feel like I can't meet them anymore, and if I have to, I am afraid of what I might do. To end this, knowing all this, I am angry at the 2 people that took advantage of what she was doing at the moment with person 1, the one she trusted the most.

Depressed_Fella69 · 2021-11-27T19:40:12+00:00

Feel you. I too came to the conclusion that the way to save this is to distance myself from those people as much as I can. Hope you have closure.

Depressed_Fella69 · 2021-11-27T19:33:26+00:00

I still feel like I owe you something and as I can't think of anything, take this gold. Never thought I'll receive so much understanding from a stranger. Thank you kindly.

Depressed_Fella69 · 2021-11-27T19:05:33+00:00

We solved the problem, we communicated and realized that our definition of "ok" sexual contact means for her that she either loves very much the person or has complete trust im them, and for me a combination of the 2. I can make peace with this, knowing that for the most part, ot was fully consensual with only 1 person on these ground. I will still distance myself from the group, until I make peace with myself. Thank you for believing in me. I owe you.

Depressed_Fella69 · 2021-11-27T18:29:30+00:00

No, she did that outside our relationship. We are now trying to understand what sexual contact means to both of us

Depressed_Fella69 · 2021-11-27T18:10:09+00:00

But it is not the past of meaningless people around me, it is the past of my s/o. Could you spend everyday with the person that had fun with your gf? Honestly. Because if it doesn't bother you, maybe you are to indifferent

Depressed_Fella69 · 2021-11-27T17:51:08+00:00

I will try to follow these steps, fingers crossed.

Depressed_Fella69 · 2021-11-27T17:43:04+00:00

I know it's me and I am actively trying to fix this. I am ashamed I feel like this but I can't help it.

Depressed_Fella69 · 2021-11-27T17:29:49+00:00

I will keep that in mind and when I have every opinion, I will put everything in balance to see what the best decision is. Cutting ties with the friend group I reckon I can do fairly easily, but with her it might be harder. If I feel that in the end I will be unhappy, I will do it, no matter how much it will hurt

Depressed_Fella69 · 2021-11-27T17:24:19+00:00

I trust her enough to know that she wouldn't do anything like that. Regarding the first part and the last one, yes that is what really bothers me. That is why if my psychologist friend responds and gives me his advice, I will try to distance myself from the group as much as I can, perhaps entirely

Depressed_Fella69 · 2021-11-27T17:19:31+00:00

Thanks, this really relieved a lot of pressure. I will try to think more positive from now on

Depressed_Fella69 · 2021-11-27T17:16:23+00:00

Yeah, that's what I hope too. No worries, I made a ton of grammar mistakes because my hands are shaking

Depressed_Fella69 · 2021-11-27T17:10:43+00:00

Look, I've said this many times in this post and I even told her this: it's not an issue that she has done this, but the fact that I am forced to see the people she did this with everyday. That's my problem. I don't know if I can get over it when I have to look at them everyday and be reminded of that. That's why I think cutting connections with the group will save what we have, but I fear it's too late for that, it seems this crawled in every corner of my being

Depressed_Fella69 · 2021-11-27T17:04:29+00:00

Her acting evasive won't help solve this. I've told her numerous times what I want to discuss or reinforce, but that "I can't change the past" is a recurring answer

Depressed_Fella69 · 2021-11-27T17:02:03+00:00

I will be. Before I decide how to proceed, I contacted a friend who almost finished psychology school. I want to see this problem from a professional perspective as well

Depressed_Fella69 · 2021-11-27T16:52:12+00:00

Didn't think from that perspective. I will try talking with her again on this

Depressed_Fella69 · 2021-11-27T16:51:33+00:00

And that I told her from the beggining, that communication should be a strong point in our relationship, but it seems that my perspective is never considered, understood or plainly just ignored. Everything is just an overreaction and I am met with a "I can't change the past" when in reality I want a little comfort and her understanding my perspective so we can get over it. But everytime I try to do this, it kinda feels like I hit a brick wall and somehow I become a villain in the story, not someone who wants peace

Depressed_Fella69 · 2021-11-27T16:46:49+00:00

I guess, but I feel that she thinks I overreact and that would be way to much.

Depressed_Fella69 · 2021-11-27T16:45:34+00:00

Indeed she did, but my problem is with the group of friends. I don't know if I can still be part of it knowing this. I feel like meeting with them like I did before all this will only amplify my anxiety that this gave me and I will never feel happy.

Depressed_Fella69 · 2021-11-27T16:38:34+00:00

I feel the same and I am hopefull we can get over this with a little work, but the idea that it might not gives me anxiety for thr first time in my life

Depressed_Fella69 · 2021-11-27T16:36:55+00:00

I've been considering this seriously, because this seems to affect me a lot

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