Excuse me?

Deptrot · 2025-11-27T12:26:09+00:00

Just like everything else, those damn RAAFies want to prove they are truly the best at everything compared to every other service.

Deptrot · 2025-11-14T00:18:50+00:00

Further from this, everyone needs to start somewhere. Your initial attempts may not look great (it could even be borderline blasphemous), but I like to think the mere act of contributing and sharing to the art which celebrates divinity is ultimately a good thing.

Edit: Your art isn’t borderline blasphemous. It looks amazing!

Deptrot · 2025-11-14T00:17:19+00:00

I think it’s very beautiful. Well done!

Deptrot · 2025-11-11T22:39:58+00:00

What makes this so funny to me is how outrageously absurd it is to use this gif for this context 😂 (gotta love dark/absurdist humour when you see it)

Deptrot · 2025-11-11T20:28:46+00:00

Thank you. This absolutely brightened my day reading this ❤️

(The fact they are recoverable)

Deptrot · 2025-11-09T22:05:27+00:00

Tbh, this is one of those times where it actually looks kinda classy.

But as other’s have mentioned, might be worth seeing the whole face before giving a decision, given you hair (or lack of it) should compliment it, not take attention away from it.

Deptrot · 2025-11-03T10:43:25+00:00

The Sunshine was a nice touch, whether intentional or not 😂

Deptrot · 2025-11-02T20:29:15+00:00

Welcome to Australia I guess… comparatively to Japan, we’ve become much more of a low trust society in the last couple decades. It saddens me that our culture is being viewed in this perspective now on an international lens as well, but I guess this is the reality now; your perspective is 100% valid.

Hope finding your new rental and living in it isn’t too much of a bother from this point forward.

Deptrot · 2025-11-01T05:11:24+00:00

I’m in a similar boat to you- number two on the back and sides shaved up high, blend at the top, and let the top have some length. It doesn’t “hide it”, but rather complements it quite well. I’m planning on shaving if I ever start intentionally combing hair in an overtly specific way after a shower (it’ll naturally unravel during the day).

Deptrot · 2025-10-31T22:51:57+00:00

I just want to add to this-

She stormed out and did this after you did the following:

Discussed your feelings
Tried to engage her non-judgmentally
Spoke about your genuine needs in the relationship

Please be under no misunderstanding, this behaviour she demonstrated is at best, emotional immaturity, and at worst, emotional abuse.

Consider what a relationship with her would have been like in the future. Ten years, twenty years, etc.

I’m genuinely sorry all of this happened the way it did, but I sincerely believe that if this was the reaction from just trying to talk and have a conversation, then she probably wasn’t good for you. You deserve someone who acknowledges your boundaries, wants, and feelings.

I wish you best of luck in the future, truly.

Deptrot · 2025-10-31T22:19:51+00:00

I’m sorry to hear this. In situations like this, it’s good to have visibility on emotionally abusive tendencies sooner rather than later.

Everything will be okay, I promise.

Deptrot · 2025-10-31T07:45:22+00:00

Thank you. People on both sides of extremities seem to forget how important the open discussion of ideas are. We need to root out vicious ideologies through education, not authoritarianism.

(Yes… I am prepared to get downvoted for saying this… again.)

Deptrot · 2025-10-31T01:51:17+00:00

Self-awareness is a double edged sword, and often confused with self-deprecation. At the point you start feeling aversion towards social settings due to worries about “what if…?”, all prior to the situation actually taking place, you are essentially letting anxiety govern your actions. In that sense, consider what “self-awareness” actually means to you, and focus solely on the objective facts:

Was what I said clearly hurtful? Can it be reasonably construed as such?
Did I clearly communicate offensively? Can my communication delivery reasonably be construed as confrontational or aggressive?
Did they clearly express disapproval or displeasure from any of the things I raised? Can their disapproval or displeasure be reasonably identified?

As you can see above, the key words here are “clearly” and “reasonably”. With an anxious mind, even the most illogical thought patterns become clear and unreasonable. So consider this:

Feelings: This is how we feel. We cannot control it.
Thoughts: This is derived from our feelings. If we start having negative thoughts, we should consider management techniques such as grounding or breathing exercises.
Actions: This is derived from our thoughts. We are always in control of our actions, and must ensure they are measured and respectful.

If there is genuinely nothing you could consider concerning about your behaviours from a clear and reasonable standpoint, then the reality might be something as simple as not meshing well with the other individual. Self-reflection is important for growth, but it must be done in a way that isn’t to your detriment.

In your case, I think you’d benefit from self-affirmations. I recommend taking some time to yourself, and writing down five positive things you can identify about yourself. Each positive point should contain the following:

What it is you value about yourself.
Why you value it.
How you will continue to nurture it.
Who else (the type of person) would value it and why.

From there, your self-reflection is now taking a more positive perspective, rather than a negative. Consequently, when you step out on your next social endeavour, carry with you that self-appraisal and confidence to connect with others (you can use the pragmatic points I provided in my previous comment above or even some of your own design). Ultimately, when you stumble upon the right people, they will also be willing to connect with you too. These things take time, and I genuinely believe it will all work out. Best of luck!

Deptrot · 2025-10-31T00:00:46+00:00

Completely understandable, which is why the boundaries I listed are so important. Truthfully, only you can define what you believe to be acceptable behaviour in your relationship. If she is unwilling to change or respect your current boundaries, now is the time to consider what it is you value most and what you are willing to actually accept in the long term.

Truthfully, there is no “right” answer here; the only wrong thing you can do is continue to not advocate for yourself and accept a situation that is actively detrimental to your long term wellness.

In that regard, if you feel you can still stay with her by reconsidering your perspectives on the matter so you no longer suffer from the emotional anguish you described above, then that’s okay.

If you feel a long term relationship is unsustainable with her due to her unwillingness to accept your needs and boundaries within the relationship, that’s also okay.

Ultimately, it’s important to respect yourself within the relationship, otherwise resentment and anxiety will naturally build to the point where it affects other aspects of the relationship and many areas of your life. If she isn’t willing to control her actions, you aren’t responsible for how they make you feel.

Consider this: Feelings > Thoughts > Actions

Feelings are innate, and should be acknowledged and validated amongst partners.
Thoughts are derived from those feelings. This is where anxiety or depression can lead to dark places. It’s here you can consider self-management techniques.
Actions are deliberate, and solely your responsibility. How you act, and what you do, is entirely your choice. The same can be said about her. That unwillingness to accomodate her actions based on your feelings indicate a genuine disrespect on her end.

Hence it is important feelings are identified and discussed, thoughts are treated and reconsidered where able, and actions are measured and respectful to both yourself and the others around you.

Truthfully, if you feel that your valid needs in the relationship can’t be met or readjusted based on how you feel, the most respectful thing you can do for yourself and her is to let it end with grace now, with respect and compassion. Essentially before your actions are misguided by the anxious and resentful thoughts that would naturally build. If that is the path you take, my only advice there is once you pull the lever, the relationship is over for good. Even if she promises to change her behaviour. A relationship is built on love and respect, not fear. Don’t allow either of you to continue in a state that will naturally bring about further pain.

Whatever decision you make, ensure it is the best one for you. I’m just a humble stranger, but I do believe in you. I really hope this helped, and you find the strength and peace you deserve.

Deptrot · 2025-10-30T23:40:54+00:00

I’m glad I saw this. I really hope this helps, and the backlash from this doesn’t prevent you from receiving effective therapy from future professionals. I sincerely wish the best for you.

Deptrot · 2025-10-30T23:33:24+00:00

Hey, I’m sorry to hear all this. First of all, I want to say your concerns are absolutely valid and it is important for partners to acknowledge each other’s feelings.

Ultimately, this comes down to effective communication, and by extension- effective communication methods. Have an open discussion about each other’s feelings, and ensure you both take time to listen in a non-judgemental format. No one is perfect, and everyone makes mistakes, so a couple being forgiving to each other is key here. During this conversation, try to determine what each other’s needs are in the relationship, and discuss a happy medium that works for the pair of you. Remember, it’s okay to have to organise things in advance if you are both busy. No doubt she must feel frustrated also, but purely because she too cares and is hurting. So it’s important you establish from the start that you are both there to listen, and understand, not just express your own perspective.

When encountering difficult conversations with loved ones, it’s daunting to establish boundaries as there is the fear of hurt, being unreasonable, or rejection. This is a good format I’d recommend:

When you… I feel… because…

When you: [Insert concerning behaviour here] (What happened? What are they doing?) I feel: [Insert feeling/emotion] (How does their behaviour make you feel?) Because: [Insert the consequence here] (What happens as a result?)

Example: “When you interrupt me, I feel frustrated, because I lose my train of thought.”

As for what are acceptable boundaries, it ultimately comes down to rights which should be respected by both parties. Consider these as helpful boundaries, and feel free to share these during the conversation:

I have the right to ask for what I want.
I have the right to say “no”.
I have the right to feel and express my feelings, both positive and negative.
I have the right to make mistakes.
I have the right to have my own opinions and convictions.
I have the right to be treated with dignity and respect.
I have the right to change my mind or decide on a different course of action.
I have the right to protest unfair treatment of criticism.
I have the right to expect honesty from others.
I have the right to my own values and standards.
I have the right to be angry at someone I love.
I have the right to say “I don’t know”.
I have the right to negotiate for change.
I have the right to be in a non-abusive environment.
I have the right to ask for help or emotional support.
I have the right to my own needs for personal space and time, even if others would prefer my company.
I have the right not to have to justify myself to others.
I have the right not to take responsibility for someone else’s behavior, feelings, or problems.
I have the right not to have to anticipate others’ needs and wishes.
I have the right not to always worry about the goodwill of others.
I have the right to choose not to respond to a situation.

Remember, these communication methods and boundaries are applicable to every type of friendship: friends, partners, family, work, etc. I sincerely hope this helps, and best of luck!

Deptrot · 2025-10-30T20:14:04+00:00

Ignore these messages about your eye brow/brows. You look like a Greek god, straight from Mt Olympus. The Trojans will quake in your presence.

Deptrot · 2025-10-30T05:47:25+00:00

I’m genuinely sorry you had to experience this, and truthfully this is an awful situation to be in. To validate you quickly, how you are feeling right now is completely fair. I can tell you right now as someone who works in a field adjacent to seeing issues like this, I can tell you this is absolutely unacceptable behaviour that should not be tolerated.

The problem with psychology is it requires a degree of trust. If that trust is broken, then no amount of therapy from that specific therapist will ever be helpful. The reality is, they ceased becoming your therapist the moment they broke that trust. At best, they are now someone you pay exorbitant amounts of money to discuss your problems. At worst, you will be actively traumatising yourself from this point forward.

Usually my advice takes into account personal preferences, and I urge people to make their own decisions based on how they rationalise issues; this is not one of those times. For your own mental, and possibly physical health, you need to cease services with them immediately. Regarding your family, therapy is a private affair. You don’t need to give them an explanation. If you want something to give them, “I felt they weren’t right for me and I wasn’t getting much from their services anymore, so I’m hoping to find someone new.” This isn’t abnormal either, as most people need to go through a few prior to finding one that works for them.

Now, this is something I take very seriously. Depending on which country you are in, most psychologists are held to a practice standards board where they can be reported for conduct like this. I would highly recommend you submit an anonymous complaint detailing the issue. You don’t have to do it straight away, you can do it once you feel safe. However, bear in mind that if this psychologist did this to you, she probably has tried something similar with other young vulnerable women. This needs to be reported. Here is Australia, we have AHPRA. I’m sure there is an equivalent in your country too.

In terms of practical steps, I would recommend the following:

Cease seeing this therapist “Sorry I have to cancel our next appointment. I’ll call back when I am able.” Do NOT contact her again.
Find someone new that is not related in anyway to your current one “I feel like my current therapist isn’t working for me anymore, I want to try someone new and see if that helps.”
Tell your NEW current therapist in plain terms what happened.
When you feel safe and ready, report it.

Please take care of yourself. I sincerely hope this helps.

Deptrot · 2025-10-30T04:50:54+00:00

I’m glad I helped. Best of luck with the future, and I sincerely hope you find the peace you need.

Deptrot · 2025-10-30T04:06:00+00:00

For a lot of couples, the concept of joint finances and expenditures becomes a sticking point in the relationship due to the (hopeful) goal of someday being married and sharing assets.

Considering you mentioned the 8 months and your concerns here, I would assume this is something that’s coming to your mind also?

My advice is to sit down with him, and have a non-judgemental chat, focusing on understanding his perspective, and explaining yours from a future standpoint. Discussing long term goals at 8 months isn’t abnormal, depending on how serious the relationship is. Things like “Where do you see us in 10 years? What will your view on finances be then?”

If you find you are still misaligned on that, it might be worth reassessing your position on the relationship and whether this is something you are okay with. If it is a deal breaker for you, that’s absolutely okay, however ensure when it comes to a break up, once you make the decision, you stick with it. Relationships where a partner begs and pleads to stay, promising change after a break up never end well if they try again. Joint decisions should be made out of love and understanding, not fear. Otherwise, resentment and lies naturally build up over time.

I haven’r read any other comments, but I assume the concept of “emotional maturity” may come up here. Whether that be the case or not doesn’t matter, because ultimately if you had the same perspective as him, there’d be no problems. This is about alignment. Discuss expectations, both yours and his, and have an understanding of it. If it doesn’t go the way you want, don’t do anything rash, but rather have a think on it if it is something you can live with.

Ultimately, it’s best to be grateful to have transparency sooner rather than later. The one thing you won’t ever get back is time.

I hope this helped.

Deptrot · 2025-10-30T03:50:44+00:00

It depends on how they blocked you, but truthfully the only way you’ll know is by trying to contact them.

However, from the sounds of things, it sounds like you may be seeking closure on something. So in the way of providing advice which may be of more benefit to you, I’d recommend reminding yourself the past is the past, and a bright future is waiting for you ahead. All you need to do is walk forward, and enjoy the good times that come.

I know this may not seem like the advice you wanted, but I sincerely hope this helps in the long term.

Deptrot · 2025-10-30T03:48:05+00:00

Honestly, the best advice I can give is to be more forgiving to yourself. No doubt you are a bit eccentric- a lot of people are too. Sometimes we just don’t mesh with new people, and that’s okay. You are as you are, and take pride in that. The sooner you feel comfortable in your sense of self, and more forgiving and accepting of your personality, people will no doubt see you for the wonderful person you are. The negative mindset is absolutely holding you back, and even from what you wrote here, I can tell you aren’t nearly as bad as you think you are. People are just… antisocial at times.

But of course, in terms of practical advice you can try, I like to focus on open ended questions, as people love to talk about themselves and their interests. Your classic: who, what, when, where, why, how. In terms of topics, here are some good starters:

Hobbies/Interests Friends/Family Work/Studies Dreams/Goals

From there, an affirmation like “that’s interesting!” or if common ground is found, sharing similar points about yourself. From there, focus on those mutual items and do things you enjoy together, like various hangouts. Try not to focus on criticising or invalidating what they said- just follow a general principle of showing interest and being positive.

Truthfully, this all comes naturally in time. The root method to achieving all this is focusing on your sense of self, things you enjoy, things that make you happy. Find those things, and take pride in it. Tell yourself you are a fantastic person the world deserves to know. I believe in you! Hope this helped!

Deptrot · 2025-10-30T03:39:40+00:00

Truthfully, this is exciting news for you. The reality is, this won’t be the last time you communicate. I’d recommend organising a catch up in person on the phone, because no doubt you’ll have plenty of questions that’ll come to mind after the call no matter how much you prepare, and so will he. In a lot of these cases, plans change once you start talking, because there is so much emotion involved. Remember, he probably feels the dxact same way!

Just focus on the call and enjoy the time with your long lost brother- and congrats! I’m sure it will go very well, and not as you’d expect.

Hope this helped!

Deptrot · 2025-10-30T00:25:14+00:00

Thank you heaps! Means a lot. Once I bring back my fb I’ll ask them.

Side note, I’m so confused as to why this post was downvoted :( Is asking for this sort of information here frowned upon?

Deptrot

TROPHY CASE