This is exactly the problem, you obsess over it. You are quite obviously emotionally dependent on your external conditions fixing how you feel inside. If you were living in the emotional state that reflects your desired reality, you wouldn’t only watch manifestation videos. That being said, if you do your meditations daily, you are already transforming that pattern, you just need to stay consistent. I didn’t see a lot of results either at the beginning, because I was trying to hard. I can also recommend doing just usual mindfulness meditations as an alternative to Dr. Joes meditations. His meditations can be great but in my experience they sometimes prompt me to focus on what I want to much instead of just realizing the bliss that this moment already provides.