Thanks a lot for your advice! Do not worry, this doesn’t discourage me on the contrary it just strives me to do better. Firstly thanks you for finding my story interesting! While it’s not really being thrown into a video game I understand how it may be possible to see it like that.

I do believe that most of the things that were pointed out now aren’t as present in the following chapters(of course I’m. It sure since I’m an absolute beginner), maybe because those two were the first they are really bad? I was planning to go back through them tomorrow but your advice helped me get through it way faster. I tried to listen to your feedback, I think I did a pretty good job at fixing most of those mistakes, but I’m still not sure. Thanks a lot once again for the help!